Mid-relationship Crisis

A mid-life crisis is an emotional crisis of identity and self-confidence that can occur in early middle age. So I think that would make a mid-relationship crisis an emotional crisis of identity and self-confidence that can occur in early mid-relationship.

I think it’s very easy to have an identity crisis in a relationship. Before I started dating my current boyfriend, I had been single for years and even living by myself. I had become very independent, which isn’t quite like me, but I enjoyed it. But then we started dating and mostly everything became about us.

It’s not a bad thing to invest your time and emotions in someone else and of course the beginning of a relationship will be so happy and sweet you won’t want to tear yourself away from it. But as the relationship progresses, you may begin to lose your independence. You may be giving up parts of yourself and you might not even notice. And these things are mostly because you allowed yourself to do it, not because your partner forced you to.

All of a sudden, you realize you barely see or talk to your friends anymore because your significant other kind of satisfies the role of a friend. And you stop making the gym and eating healthy a priority because it’s so fun to come home and chill on the couch with snacks and your boyfriend. You stop putting in a lot of effort towards how you look because you see the same people every day anyway, why does it matter?

They are little things that can build up and cause an identity crisis which can cause a mid-relationship crisis and make you think you need to call it quits for everything in your life to be better again. But that’s not always the case.

You can be independent in a relationship and even if you lose it for a little while, you can always get it back. Everyone at some point freaks out about their relationship whether it’s the commitment, longevity, fear of losing someone, etc. Assess your own happiness and decide whether this crisis really needs drastic measures or just a step back into your old comfort zone.

10 thoughts on “Mid-relationship Crisis

  1. When my guy and I first got together we were doing long distance, 14 hours apart. It really taught us to be independent in the beginning. We have now lived together for almost 2 years and we still are independent. He has his friends and I have mine and we have our combined. We spend time together both intentionally and just from living together. I would like to think we have independence but at the moment he’s still in college so it’s not as if his friends are not close. I wonder if it will change when he graduates. Great post! I think this happens to a lot of people and they forget they can do something alone.

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  2. You hit the nail on the head again with this one! Modern relationships are so far ranging now. People can meet on apps! It’s crazy! Hell, I met my boyfriend on Tinder and, cliches pushed aside, we’re about to celebrate two years together. Throw in the self doubt that comes with a “rebound” status and that mid-relationship mark hits hard. Thanks for sharing!

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  3. Such an interesting post Rosie, so many must be able to relate to this. It’s all about compromise and sharing I think. If you really want to be with someone then you will do whatever it takes. I’m sure Jo has to work so hard to put up with me!

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  4. Everything you have said here is so true! Im glad you really get this. My boyfriend is my best (and now only) friend and also my carer, plus I’m his best mate as well (his friends have moved away so he only seems several times a year), plus neither of us work so we spend 24/7 with each other. It’s taken a lot of encouragement from him and eventual optimism from me to NOT just revolve around him and get my confidence and independence back again. Hence the three days (after a week) where we totally do our own things, these days, which we both really appreciate.

    Liked by 1 person

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