Today’s my birthday! I turned 27 today and man do I feel old. I’ve written before about I feel perpetually stuck at 22. I don’t know why, but I always just feel like I’m in that 22 year old mindset. New to the world of adulting, still young enough to understand the world, but old enough to stop making silly mistakes.
I know I’ve learned a lot, I know I’ve changed a lot. While I still listen to music from 2003 and can’t do winged eyeliner, I’ve learned to love myself a little more and accept opportunities with open arms.
And while I hate aging, I enjoy being able to reflect on how I’ve changed and grown over the years. I enjoy knowing that I’ve been working on being the best version of myself and that effort hasn’t been lost.
10 years ago I would have been turn 17 and I wasn’t in a great place. I was dating someone who was older than me, who wasn’t good for me. High school was just straight up terrible. I can’t remember how I celebrated. I have a lot of selective memory from that time in my life.
But it’s taught me that I don’t want to live that way anymore. I don’t want to force myself to forget things just so I can live comfortably. I want to enjoy my life and accept my mistakes – that’s why my word for this year is accept.
I’m happy to be growing, I just don’t want to be old. But hey – quarantine birthdays don’t count right?