I think we all experience some sort of regret after a break up. It just feels like you spent so much of your life dedicated to one person when you could have been doing other things. You could have been traveling, you could have been spending more time with your friends and family, you could be meeting new people, you could have already met someone who you wouldn’t be breaking up with.
The longer the amount of time, the harder it hurts. When my four year relationship at the age of 20 ended, all I could think was how I had just wasted 1/5 of my life on someone I would never see again. All I could think about is all of the things I missed out on the past four years – all of the time wasted.
But your bad relationship did not waste your time.
It’s so much easier to focus on the sad memories rather than the happy memories – but there were happy memories. And there were lessons folded into the relationship – as well as in the break up.
You don’t have to admit it, but that person changed you. For better or for worse, they taught you more about yourself than you would have ever learned on your own.
And sure – regret is easy and time feels wasted when you knew at one point the relationship wasn’t worth it but kept trying anyway. But you can’t hang on to that regret. Because no matter how old you are, you still have time left.
Learn from the mistakes, grow from the break up, and carry on without the weight of your past relationships. It wasn’t a waste of time, it was a necessary lesson. But the more time you spend thinking about how you wasted all that time, the more time you are actually wasting right now.
Put that relationship in your pocket and continue your life. It’s hard, we’re often blinded by love and hate and sadness, but you can make up for that time. And you can do it better and bolder than you would have without the relationship ever happening.
This is an excellent point that changed my life, years after the break up of course. I’m stubborn & refuse to do things the easy way!
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Hahah it only took me like three years to figure this out, I am also very stubborn!
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It was probably that long for me, too! I’m very happy I’m past all that.
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i totally agree with this. He taught me that am strong beyond measure after our 3yr relationship ended. at first i regretted it how i wasted my time to someone who deeply loved me yet had the guts to hurt me the worst. now am more strong, past it, living life. YOLO
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Yes!! Go you! It is so hard to get past the point of regret, but once you let go you realize how much of a stronger and happier person you are now 🙂
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Thank you
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whatever happens in life it is just a lesson, sometime it not as pleasant as one would wish, but still a lesson. great post, keep writing, you got talent
Love, Health and Wealth
Alex Moses
https://alifeanswer.com/
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Totally agree, you just have to take everything as a lesson in order to be a happier person. Thank you 🙂
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thank you for positive response 🙂
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Reblogged this on and commented:
Going through a breakup? You hate them! You don’t know how you could ever date them! But the more you say it, the more it isn’t true. You dated them for a reason and at the time it was a good idea for you. You will be forever shaped by your relationships with people, whether past or current. Check out this post about how a breakup helps define who you are as a person. It might give you a whole new perspective on your past and a more optimistic outlook for your future.
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Life teaches us at all moments! Good and bad ! It just takes time for us to notice that.
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Definitely 🙂
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So great that you’re putting this out there. This is a much healthier view of failed relationships and will no doubt help the brokenhearted move on with calm and confidence.
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Thank you! I hope it really does help some people 🙂
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Yep! I like to say that you shouldn’t regret anything that you learnt from. That was the hardest thing when my two year quasi-relationship ended. I couldn’t really take anything from how it ended, nor make any sense of it and that sucked.
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And I think we should learn from everything so we really should have no regrets 🙂 It took me a long time after my break up to learn my lessons
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Before you can have a stable relationship you probably should ask yourself – what do I want from a relationship?
You don’t ask, “What kind of man do I want?”
You don’t ask, “What kind of woman do I want to be?”
Just ask yourself how to people can be happy together and you will find a way to found a lasting relationship.
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Any two people can be happy together for a short amount of time, I agree that you can’t just make someone up in your head and hope you’ll meet them and fall in love – but you also shouldn’t just settle for just anybody
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You are absolutely right about that – the chances to meet your perfect match is just as good as winning the lottery. Some have luck, but most of us (the rest of the seven billion people on this planet) will look quite dissapointed at their not working relationships. That’s why you have to set a goal to yourself. And that goal has got to be: How can I be happy with this person?
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This is what I beat myself up over this… how could I be so stupid to get caught up in that friendship/relationship?? Why did I do that? Why did I invest so much energy in this person? Thank you for this post – it is very relatable and a reminder that these “bad” relationships are here to teach us lessons. Some of the best lessons are learnt from heartbreak and disappointments. 💔
I didn’t date until I was 21 but I have been in a relationship for 7 years now (married for 4 years). There are silver linings to everything. Sometimes, it doesn’t always make sense in the present moment and we will never know why things had to be a certain way. But I can assure anyone who has had their hearts broken or had a bad falling out with an ex-friend, it does get better. Trust yourself. 🙏❤
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Yes!! It totally gets better and those lessons are so important to making future relationships more successful
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I am so happy I found your blog!!!
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This is well-written. It has made me look at the other side of breakups. Great!
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Thank you!
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This is really profound and relatable. Thank you for sharing.
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Thank you for reading!
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OMG THAT’S TRUE!!!!!!!!! I feel the same thing about a relationship I had! We do become stronger because of them once of course the storm passes. My first post was actually my relationship I had to leave.
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