Thanks to a Buzzfeed quiz, I learned about imposter syndrome this week. Wikipedia describes the syndrome as a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a fear of being exposed as a fraud. Even though there is evidence of their accomplishments and competence, those with the syndrome chalk up their success to luck or something similar.
And when I read that I was like “holy shiz I definitely have that.” For pretty much my whole entire life, I’ve never really thought that I’ve deserved anything. I’ve done a lot of great things in my life and accomplished a lot, and all of those things have surprised me.
When I got into all of the colleges I applied to (granted, I didn’t really reach) I was genuinely shocked because up until that point I didn’t know I could do anything right. And in my first year of college I got a job as a tour guide and I was like what kind of magic did I bewitch on them for them to think I would actually be a good fit for this?
And then I got into my sorority and I was so confused that people actually liked me. And then I got a good internship and I graduated from college. I got a good job and then an even better job.
I thought it was either luck or (if I’m being honest) I’ve chalked A LOT of it up to being a decently attractive female. Yupp, I don’t really think I’ve deserved any of this but I’ve gotten by because I’m not that terrible to look at
And it’s such a toxic way to think. I’ve always been intelligent, even if I suck at school. I’m not great at coming out of my shell, but I am great at talking about the things I’m passionate about. I got really good grades in college and I learned a lot about myself and taught myself a lot about the field I work in. How could I think I don’t deserve any of this, that I’m a fraud?
I don’t think it’s rare, I don’t think anyone of us get the credit we deserve and we especially don’t give it to ourselves. But if we don’t, really, who will?
I think it’s a mental tug of war where I struggle with those thoughts but then I temporarily persuade myself that it’s definitely not like that at all!
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I agree! Sometimes i’m like wow I definitely worked hard for this, other times I’m pretty convinced it’s all just sheer luck
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I can’t say I have an imposter syndrome but I can relate to asking the universe what I would have done to deserve amazing opportunities even after I’ve put in the work. It’s a strange way to think but it exists.
Well done on all your accomplishments so far and here’s to wishing you more success.
MaKupsy : http://www.makupsy.wordpress.com
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Oh my gosh, girl, I totally have this too! I really felt it when I got my first job as a nurse. I actually didn’t know what Imposters syndrome was, but when I described what I was feeling to a friend (who is a psychologist) she told me the name for it. So wild, right?! I think the biggest thing is reminding yourself that you have worked hard and you DO deserve what you have earned. Great post- totally relate
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I can’t believe it’s not talked about more because I feel like SO many people have it! Thanks for reading 🙂
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Exactly!!
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The first time I read about it, I thought, “Yup, that’s me!”
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This is extremely interesting. I’m sure everyone has thought this about themselves at one point in their lives.
🌿 Marissa Belle × marsybun.com 🌿
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I know exactly what you mean and experience it too. Friends tell me “fake it till you make it.” Does the syndrome/faking it ever go away?
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I don’t think so!
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This is new info for me! I feel I am like this too, sometimes. I should read about it. Thanks for sharing it with us, Rosie!
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I relate to this so much.
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Yeppp I feel the same way! I was so surprised I got into college, even though I had the grades and extracurriculars to back it up. But at this point, I’m really just going to fake it until I make it, because if I’m the only one who feels like I’m a fraud, then I guess that’s a good thing.
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