Every other week someone I know is getting engaged, buying a house, or getting married. When you’re in your twenties, there are three kinds of people in your friend group. The single ones, the ones who met their significant other in high school or college, and the ones who met their significant other after college or a little later in their twenties.
Most of my friends who met their love in high school or college are now engaged. I fall into the category of the ones who met their love after college, so I feel a little behind. I feel deeply for my single friends, because no matter how happy you are being single, you still feel left out sometimes.
Now I feel a lot of pressure being in a relationship in this stage of my life because everyone automatically expects that engagement and marriage are a few short years away.
But just a few years ago I didn’t really believe in marriage. I didn’t want it, I didn’t want a relationship, and now while I’m in a relationship I’m still not 100% on board with the idea of marriage.
When I mentioned my boyfriend and I are planning on moving in together, I was asked if I thought a ring was in the future and I replied, “god, I hope not.”
I’m just not ready, but I feel a lot of pressure when a lot of people my age are ready and have been ready. It’s just what comes with my age. When you’re single in your twenties, you’re pressured to find a boyfriend. When you’re in a relationship in your twenties, you’re pressured to get engaged.
As much as I know what I want, it’s hard to ignore that nagging pressure.
Rosie Culture 
I definitely understand the turmoils you are going through…continue listening to that heart of yours and never let the pressure decide what you would otherwise not😊
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Thank you! I will try to do that 🙂
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Yes! I am all about this post! It seems like all of my friends lately are getting engaged, married, or asking when I’m going to get engaged and it’s like – calm down. There’s PLENTY of time for that!
A- https://simplylovely90.wordpress.com/
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Right?! We can re-evaluate when I’m like 28 maybe lol
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Really? I’d have imagine there’s way less pressure at 24
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This is the time where most people start getting married so from 24-30 the pressure is on
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Yeah but you’re still in your 20s. Early 20s even, I’d say. Once 30 starts approaching is when I’d think the real pressure starts.
Not that I really know anything about this. I’m still working on dating.
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I never felt the pressure but I’ve seen some of my peers getting engaged and some of them are even married with kids. My cousin is feeling the pressure from her mom/my aunt about getting married, or at least having a boyfriend (she’s 25).
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I really feel for the single ladies because the pressure to find a boyfriend is even worse than the pressure to get engaged
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I am in my 30s and the pressure is on to have babies.
Although we have been engaged for 6 years now and are in no hurry to get married, when we do it will be for the legalities. I have no intention of changing my name.
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oh nooo that’s what I have to look forward to, more pressure lol
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and its not just the one, as soon as you have had that one, some little old grandma will pop out the woodwork and ask when you are having another and whats worse (so I have been told) if you have decided that you don’t want children, then you get that, but I am sure you will change your mind pressure. As yet the only way I have found to stop it, is to be rude. So if you find a polite way let me know
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I’ve already decided I don’t want kids and I hear the “you’ll change your mind.” I’m not very polite either when I tell them kids are gross!
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I have a son and you are right they are
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I don’t want to pull the old lady card, but wait till you’re in your 30s. It gets a whole lot worse. Every other day I get asked if my bf and I are going to get married and if I want kids. I have a friend who is single and sometimes it gets to her. She feels so much pressure from family, friends, and society to find someone. I am going to say to you what I say to her: ignore everyone else. There is no one way to live your life. What works for some, will not work for others. Relationships, marriage, babies, etc. We’re taught from society that those are things to strive for, but they aren’t. Not everyone wants those thing. Or you don’t want them right now. Go at your own pace and you’ll be the happiest.
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That is great advice!! And you are not an old lady lol!
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so accurate! I just wrote an article about if we need to have it all figured out in our 20’s. Too much pressure these days to do the right thing. Yet do we even know what the right thing is…?
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Yes! Too much pressure all around. I’ll check out your post ☺️
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This is so accurate. I’ve found it especially prominent up north especially coming from someone who moved up here from Florida. Everyone is having children and getting married so soon!
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Luckily none of my friends are at that point yet but I’m going to feel soooo weird about it when they are lol
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I’ve most definitely said “god, I hope not,” when family recently asked about marriage, so I feel you. Times are definitely changing and I’m happy to see so.
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I was single for 21 years and thought I was behind everyone else. Then I met someone while in university and got married at 24 (going on 25). I still don’t have a house or a career yet and I’m 29 now. Everyone is walking on their own paths and no path is the same!
My advice is not to follow too many people on social media as difficult as that is. Limit social media to blog-related purposes. Seeing people getting engaged/married, having babies, and buying houses will make you feel worse about yourself. As much as we convince ourselves that it doesn’t bother us, deep down it does. It’s OK to feel jealous or envious or feel bad, but social media certainly doesn’t help with that because we’re constantly exposed to it. I’m on a 2+ year hiatus from social media while I work on getting a career in order and work on other life goals #no-regrets
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Marriage is overrated. Get a civil contract and have a wedding-like celebration. When you marry, whatever state or country you live in determines what marriage means. This can come back to bite you in the ass.
This year, for instance, I lost my car insurance almost 10 times, not because of my spotless driving record but because of my husband’s speeding tickets. We didn’t even share cars or share insurance, but Georgia law requires that your spouse be on your insurance policy in case they drive your car, so his driving record screwed mine.
You can get all the perks of marriage (minus taxes and some work perks) from a civil contract, powers of attorney and a solid estate plan.
I would never marry again. 🙄
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There’s unfortunately always going to be some sort of pressure because of whatever societal norm it is (marriage, children, buying a house, etc.). It’s difficult to stand up for who you are and what you want, but if you don’t, you’ll just be living someone else’s life. No one wants that at the end of the day.
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Very true!
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Don’t rush it, only you know when it’s the right time
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