The Pressure Of Being In A Relationship In Your 20’s

Every other week someone I know is getting engaged, buying a house, or getting married. When you’re in your twenties, there are three kinds of people in your friend group. The single ones, the ones who met their significant other in high school or college, and the ones who met their significant other after college or a little later in their twenties.

Most of my friends who met their love in high school or college are now engaged. I fall into the category of the ones who met their love after college, so I feel a little behind. I feel deeply for my single friends, because no matter how happy you are being single, you still feel left out sometimes.

Now I feel a lot of pressure being in a relationship in this stage of my life because everyone automatically expects that engagement and marriage are a few short years away.

But just a few years ago I didn’t really believe in marriage. I didn’t want it, I didn’t want a relationship, and now while I’m in a relationship I’m still not 100% on board with the idea of marriage.

When I mentioned my boyfriend and I are planning on moving in together, I was asked if I thought a ring was in the future and I replied, “god, I hope not.”

I’m just not ready, but I feel a lot of pressure when a lot of people my age are ready and have been ready. It’s just what comes with my age. When you’re single in your twenties, you’re pressured to find a boyfriend. When you’re in a relationship in your twenties, you’re pressured to get engaged.

As much as I know what I want, it’s hard to ignore that nagging pressure.

28 thoughts on “The Pressure Of Being In A Relationship In Your 20’s

      1. and its not just the one, as soon as you have had that one, some little old grandma will pop out the woodwork and ask when you are having another and whats worse (so I have been told) if you have decided that you don’t want children, then you get that, but I am sure you will change your mind pressure. As yet the only way I have found to stop it, is to be rude. So if you find a polite way let me know

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I don’t want to pull the old lady card, but wait till you’re in your 30s. It gets a whole lot worse. Every other day I get asked if my bf and I are going to get married and if I want kids. I have a friend who is single and sometimes it gets to her. She feels so much pressure from family, friends, and society to find someone. I am going to say to you what I say to her: ignore everyone else. There is no one way to live your life. What works for some, will not work for others. Relationships, marriage, babies, etc. We’re taught from society that those are things to strive for, but they aren’t. Not everyone wants those thing. Or you don’t want them right now. Go at your own pace and you’ll be the happiest.

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  2. I was single for 21 years and thought I was behind everyone else. Then I met someone while in university and got married at 24 (going on 25). I still don’t have a house or a career yet and I’m 29 now. Everyone is walking on their own paths and no path is the same!

    My advice is not to follow too many people on social media as difficult as that is. Limit social media to blog-related purposes. Seeing people getting engaged/married, having babies, and buying houses will make you feel worse about yourself. As much as we convince ourselves that it doesn’t bother us, deep down it does. It’s OK to feel jealous or envious or feel bad, but social media certainly doesn’t help with that because we’re constantly exposed to it. I’m on a 2+ year hiatus from social media while I work on getting a career in order and work on other life goals #no-regrets

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  3. Marriage is overrated. Get a civil contract and have a wedding-like celebration. When you marry, whatever state or country you live in determines what marriage means. This can come back to bite you in the ass.

    This year, for instance, I lost my car insurance almost 10 times, not because of my spotless driving record but because of my husband’s speeding tickets. We didn’t even share cars or share insurance, but Georgia law requires that your spouse be on your insurance policy in case they drive your car, so his driving record screwed mine.

    You can get all the perks of marriage (minus taxes and some work perks) from a civil contract, powers of attorney and a solid estate plan.

    I would never marry again. 🙄

    Liked by 1 person

  4. There’s unfortunately always going to be some sort of pressure because of whatever societal norm it is (marriage, children, buying a house, etc.). It’s difficult to stand up for who you are and what you want, but if you don’t, you’ll just be living someone else’s life. No one wants that at the end of the day.

    Liked by 1 person

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