Excuses, Excuses

I’m starting to feel a little pathetic. Job searching comes with a lot of ups and downs. Rejection emails, ghosting, preliminary interviews that just confuse me further.

It feels like every time I talk to someone about what I’m going through, they give me these puppy dog eyes like I’m a broken toy.

So I’ll say I was laid off – but it was due to COVID. We’re moving – but it’s what’s best for my boyfriend’s job. I’m still job searching – but I’m enjoying some time for myself.

A bunch of excuses that, at the end of the day, are just to make me feel better. I know people feel bad for me, but they don’t pity me like I feel like they do. They don’t think I failed like I feel like I did.

Moving really eats at me because it was solely because of me that we came to New Hampshire and now, after a little over a year and a half, we’re moving back to where we started. It just feels like such a regression.

I’m a logical person, but job searching just does not allow emotions to stay out of the way. Even if I get rejected for a job I knew wasn’t the right fit, I still feel bad about it. On top of all of that, it’s a time where I can’t really be picky about my next career move. But I also don’t want to be miserable doing it.

So I’ll just keep making excuses and talking myself into feeling better even though it feels like I’m moving in slow motion, but at hypersonic speed.

7 thoughts on “Excuses, Excuses

  1. Tough times Rosie but just try to keep some sort of positive outlook on it all. So easy to let all of these setbacks get you down but try and find other things in life to be happy about. It’s all about balance.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am in exactly the same position Rosie! It is so demoralising getting rejected by company after company. I find myself wondering whats wrong with me on a regular basis! I’m just hoping that things will slowly get back to normal. The worst is the anxiety from not knowing how long getting a job is going to be difficult for…

    Liked by 1 person

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