I’m starting to feel a little pathetic. Job searching comes with a lot of ups and downs. Rejection emails, ghosting, preliminary interviews that just confuse me further.
It feels like every time I talk to someone about what I’m going through, they give me these puppy dog eyes like I’m a broken toy.
So I’ll say I was laid off – but it was due to COVID. We’re moving – but it’s what’s best for my boyfriend’s job. I’m still job searching – but I’m enjoying some time for myself.
A bunch of excuses that, at the end of the day, are just to make me feel better. I know people feel bad for me, but they don’t pity me like I feel like they do. They don’t think I failed like I feel like I did.
Moving really eats at me because it was solely because of me that we came to New Hampshire and now, after a little over a year and a half, we’re moving back to where we started. It just feels like such a regression.
I’m a logical person, but job searching just does not allow emotions to stay out of the way. Even if I get rejected for a job I knew wasn’t the right fit, I still feel bad about it. On top of all of that, it’s a time where I can’t really be picky about my next career move. But I also don’t want to be miserable doing it.
So I’ll just keep making excuses and talking myself into feeling better even though it feels like I’m moving in slow motion, but at hypersonic speed.