Life is hard and relationships are an aspect of life – so they aren’t always easy either. My boyfriend and I are celebrating 4 years together and if there’s one thing I learned, it’s that nothing is a constant. I wrote about how our 3rd year together had the theme of sticking together. I don’t think that theme is going anywhere fast.
The best lesson I’ve learned is that a relationship isn’t 50/50. Sometimes I can only give 10% and my boyfriend will pick up the other 90%. Sometimes it’s the other way around.
And as a generally selfish person, I think I’ve learned a lot about caring for someone else. I’m pretty much always stressed out or pessimistic and rely on my boyfriend to pick me up a lot, but that needs to work both ways. It’s important to recognize the cues your partner gives, to be that 90% when you can be.
We’re not a traditional couple. I think most people our age would’ve been married two years ago. I think most people our age wouldn’t have signed a lease together after a year and a half. I think most people our age wouldn’t give up their home, their friends, and their family to move 5 hours away to a state they barely know. But I like the way we are.
We’re far from perfect. We fight because we’re both stubborn. But we laugh a lot too. And we’re always there for each other, no matter the stress levels.