When I graduated college, my friends and I all cried over the fact that life would be so different without us living just a hallway away from each other. But I don’t think I realized how different it would really be.
We all have jobs and relationships. Some people have houses and dogs. Some of us have demanding schedules. It’s really really hard to stay in touch with your friends and it can be easy to let it just fall to the side when you know they’ll always be there for you when you need them.
But needing them doesn’t always mean you’re having an actual crisis. You need your friends a lot more than you think you do, even when you have a support system at home. It’s not the same as the comfort your friends can give you.
They’re probably going through what you’re going through and you probably haven’t taken the time to properly talk about your life with someone who isn’t with you all the tine. Your friends can help you, it doesn’t need to be a time of despair. It might just be a time where you feel like you need a little more fresh air.
It takes work – a lot more work than some people are willing to put in to keep friendships around. But it’s important work. It’s the same as the effort you need to continuously put into your relationship. You can’t just expect to put people down and pick them back up when you need them.
Send the text, make the call, put together some plans. Be the person who is always reaching out with dates to see if anyone can get together. It’s exhausting and can be frustrating – but your good friends are worth it.
Yes, good friends are always worth the effort! 😀
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definitely 🙂
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I was kind of sad after High School when most of my friends were going off to college. It took me a couple of years but then I went off too. Friendships change and evolve while some dissolve.
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It’s a big adjustment!
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I’ve learned how different maintain friendships can be compared to your teens and 20s. I regret neglecting my high school friends in my 20s and it’s now too late to make amends. I’m making a big effort to be a good friend to my current friends and I can see the difference in the quality of friends and my life too! Friendship is definitely not a one way street in your 20s.
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I don’t have any friends from high school anymore and I didn’t regret it at the time, but now I wish I had just stayed in touch a little. It takes a lot of work but it’s worth it.
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I’d like to read more about your post-college friendships. I recently wrote about the importance of friends too: https://friendsnpets.com/2018/10/18/the-seattle-freeze-fomo-and-more/
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Such a wonderfully written post.
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Thank you!
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