I’m not really a forgive and forget kind of person. More specifically, I have a hard time forgetting. As an overthinker, the things I do and the things other people do to me really stick with me. And if someone hurts me, it stays with me for years and years.
I’ve encountered a certain type of person a few times in my life who thought that they could have things both ways. Who thought they could have outbursts, be rude, mean, or unkind, but still come back to me as a friend, boyfriend, or loved one.
No matter the circumstance, at least for me, you can’t have it both ways.
You can’t be rude to me one day and then nice to me the next and expect it all to be forgiven under the guise of friendship or love. You may not have reacted in the way that you wanted to by having an outburst, but the repeated behavior says differently. And you just can’t expect for things to go unnoticed, especially without an apology.
I don’t think it’s fair for people to unload on to others and then chalk it up to a bad day. I don’t think it’s fair for small problems to become big problems just because that’s the way you’re feeling. Your actions and your words will always carry much more weight than you are aware of. And you can’t just turn around and pretend those things didn’t happen.
Life doesn’t just go back to normal for the person you were unkind to. Those words and actions stick with them, so why should you be able to roll them off your back so easily?