If you’re on TikTok, you might see this trend making its way around about how none of us have ever had an original thought. There is always going to be someone else who is thinking the same weird shit you’re thinking.
And that’s exactly where I heard the phrase destination happiness.
“It’s the notion of never being content with life in the present and thinking instead about the ‘ifs’: if I get a new job I’ll be happy, if I lose five pounds I’ll be happy – and so on.” – Source
I’ve been writing a lot about feeling this way lately. And if you look back through the five-ish years of my blogging, you’ll see that I’ve written that exact same blog post a thousand different ways over the years. I’ve always had a hard time living in the present. I was just reminiscing the other day about how in high school I knew that if I just made it to college then everything would be better. And then halfway through college I just knew once I graduated everything would be better.
Once I had a boyfriend, everything would be better. Once I got a new job, everything would be better. Once I got a dog, everything would be better (well, this one is actually true, life is better with a dog).
I’m just always hoping, wishing, and waiting for the future. But happiness isn’t a destination. It’s not something that will always be waiting down the road for you. You have to work for it, you have to create it, and you have to make it happen now, not later.
I think this mindset of destination happiness has led to a lot of burnout and anxiety for me. It really is the root to almost all of my problems. My happiness is not somewhere down the line in 5 years, it’s not a plane ride away, it’s not a destination I can just aspire to get to at one point. I need to make it happen for myself and knowing that there’s a word for it and there are other people who feel this same way make me feel much less alone.