I sometimes experience a stretch of days where I just feel so unhappy and hopeless. The weight of the pandemic, staying in my house, not being able to do the things I love – it all becomes too much. To the point where the days just become one and all I can do is sit on the couch and feel sad about it.
But today, I became fully vaccinated. And now I am just a little more hopeful.
When I first got the email I was eligible, I was so excited. All I’ve wanted to do is do my part in slowing the spread and getting the vaccine was the next step of that. And then, due to external opinions, I felt guilty. Even though I go to work every day and have some underlying health conditions, I didn’t really feel deserving of the vaccine. Because overall, I am generally healthy and young. And there are a lot of people in my state who still hadn’t gotten their first shot.
Which was not my fault. It’s the fault of the way the vaccines were distributed, no rules being in place that teachers were to be put in the front of the line. I honestly filled out my registration, the opportunity was given to me, and I took it.
Not that I should really have to justify to anyone why I was allowed to get the vaccine when I did. Really, it’s no one’s business. I guess you could assume I was one of the people who decided to lie about their smoking history or weight – but even then, it’s no one’s business.
After getting over the guilt and getting fully vaccinated, I am so proud to be one of the people that is helping to stop this virus in its tracks. I am grateful that I can now see my grandparents without feeling like I’m going to kill them. I am grateful that I don’t have to be in fear of hurting anyone anymore. I am looking forward to putting COVID behind us as much as possible and to some semblance of normal.
And for now, I await the second-shot symptoms and cross my fingers they’re not too bad!