Judge Less, Compliment More

Seriously, if everyone was as nice as the girls I run into drunkenly in the bar bathroom, my self-esteem would be through the roof.

But it’s not. It’s not for most of us. We are constantly trying to live up to what we see on the magazine covers or on the popular Instagram pages. We try to make ourselves as perfect as possible – because that’s what gets us attention and that’s what gets us compliments. And those are what give us the confidence to keep going.

But a lot of the time what we’re asking for is superficial confidence. Likes and comments on pictures from people who really don’t mean anything. The strangers online are nice, but compliments in person would be even better.

We tend to judge instead of compliment. We give the side eye and scoff about how short that girl’s dress is or how ugly that guy’s shoes are. But we never think to reach out and compliment someone as quickly as we think to judge them. Because that girl has the legs to rock that dress and the guy has the confidence and style to rock those shoes – but you would never tell them that.

We think compliments all the time, but we keep them in our head. I don’t know how many times I’ve spoken to a stranger and thought “wow, her hair is really pretty.” But never said it out loud. Things like that can make people’s day or week or life just a little bit better.

We don’t think to do it anymore, we don’t want to build egos or look weak admitting that we like something about someone else. But I urge you to try to do it. To say the nice things you’re thinking out loud. We could all use a compliment every now and again. Start handing out yours and you’ll surely get them in return.

35 thoughts on “Judge Less, Compliment More

  1. My sixteen year old daughter is really good at this. I don’t know how many times we have been in a mall, a crowded store or at a fair and she’s stopped someone to compliment them on their shirt, their dress, their hair their looks or their fabulous taste in footwear. Occasionally she gets looked at like she’s an alien for it, but usually they smile and thank her. Once or twice they’ve even stopped and talked with her! I’m very proud of her for the confidence she exudes but unfortunately I can’t take credit for it, she gets that from her mother.

    Liked by 5 people

  2. This was really insightful, for you are a abolutely right. A compliment received, thought out, or off the cuff, adds a skip to my step and a smile to my face for days afterward.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. One thing I will add to this, is compliment people for what they do and what they choose and not who they are. So don’t call someone talented or pretty, but compliment their skill or their fashion sense. From my experience that is what really makes people happy.

    Excellent post! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I started practicing this in college and even more so after. I find that it takes no effort to just say what I’m already thinking and it can make a person’s day a bit brighter. I’ve also found that as I’ve been doing it, I get more compliments myself and not necessarily from the people I compliment. It’s like you put out positive energy in the world and you some back. Win-win.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. I honestly can’t go a day without complimenting at least one person. I’m not shy so if I am out with my friends I will stop someone and tell them something nice, especially if I am having a rough day myself, it helps me feel better.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s great!! Honestly I don’t think we ever think to do something nice for someone else when we’re feeling down because we get so wrapped up in our own lives but it really does make you feel better just to be a little nicer!!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Your opening line got me. I just had an ecard come up in my Facebook memories today that said, “Do you ever think about all the really nice drunk girls you’ve met in bathrooms and wonder how they’re doing? I miss you all.” Ha Ha. This post definitely makes me think I could more effort into handing out some compliments throughout the day, it’s a great way to spread some happiness πŸ˜€

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I love giving and receiving compliments! Unfortunately in my culture and country, it is seen as being a “suck up” or being fake – for some reason people in Singapore can’t ever believe a compliment is real! Because of that, it has sort of conditioned me to not compliment people out of the blue as they’d always think there was a motive for a compliment. But when I lived in the UK it was completely different! Everyone was open to complimenting and it was so lovely. I guess that’s where western and asian culture differ a lot.

    🌿 Marissa Belle Γ— marsybun.com 🌿

    Liked by 1 person

  8. On the contrary I very much enjoy complimenting people, and have always loved seeing how happy it makes them. If I like your hair or your dress or the drink you made me I’m gonna tell you. On the flip side, I do understand that a lot of people are not like that, and some people don’t actually enjoy compliments as they don’t want any attention (I’m one of them strangely enough). Funny old world isn’t it, but I do hope we learn in general to be kinder to each other, and ourselves.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I started saying the compliments I was thinking when I noticed my friend doing it and how well received it was. Now I do it all the time and I think it makes me just as happy (if not happier) as it makes them. Such a small but important ‘happy juice’ boost!

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Really well-written post! Whether it’s in public or at home, I always try make sure I’m being as nice as possible to others. I know the experience of receiving kindness from others around me, so it only makes sense to reciprocate

    Liked by 2 people

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