It feels like a lifetime ago, but when I was dumped back in college I actually learned a lot about myself that helped shape me into the person I am today. A break up can often be a great thing for us. Here are 10 things great things that came from my boyfriend dumping me:
1. The friendships I made
My relationship was so consuming it was completely holding me back from forming complete and amazing friendships.
2. Learning how to recover from a life changing event
It’s not easy and it wasn’t pretty, but I am a stronger person because of it and I know the next life changing event will be a little easier because of it.
3. Reconnecting with my family
Once again, my relationship was so time consuming that the time I spent with my family was also usually spent with my boyfriend.
4. The opportunity to be wild and free
I had the excuse of just being dumped to go crazy and do what I want to get it all out of my system and get me to the point of being level headed and happy.
5. Growing my career
My career path was always confusing and stifled when I was in a relationship because I was going to have to be where he was and do something with hours to accommodate him.
6. Growing my hobbies
I basically didn’t have hobbies in my relationships that didn’t include my boyfriend. I’ve learned new things and started this blog which is amazing in itself.
7. Realizing what is and is not healthy
Suffocating relationships are not healthy. Weekly pizza dates are not healthy. Skipping the gym because your boyfriend says you look fine is not healthy. I am an overall more fit and healthy person now.
8. The mini relationships I had since the big break up
Sure, most of them didn’t end so well. But I’ve had the chance to meet amazing people, form great bonds, and learn more about what I need from a partner.
9. Saving money
Like you would not believe how much money I have to spend on myself, to treat my friends, and spoil my family with ever since I became single.
10. Finding who I am
My relationships blinded me and I couldn’t separate myself from them. I am healthy, happy, strong, and able now. I never could have said that before.
So thank you.
Love it 🙂
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Thanks 🙂
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Absolutely right!
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🙂
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Perfect timing for me – all of this is so true
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I’m glad! Break ups suck but they really are for the better
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Great! I love the freedom of being single. I wish that I was right now
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Relationships can be great too! Just have to find a good balance
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Sometimes breaking up is the best thing for your sanity. Glad you focus on the positive!!
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Good for you! 🙂
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Thanks 🙂
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I didn’t get dumped, but I’m experiencing all those things after leaving my relationship. I love it! Glad you are too!
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I’m glad the single life is going well for you 🙂
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Thank you 😊
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Believe it or not, every single thing you mentioned applies to me! 😀 I would have eventually have written a post just like this (and I’ll still writeone down the line), but now that you’ve already written it and it’s so awesome, it’s time to share! 😊 It sucks to be dumped and sometimes seeing even one thing from our perspective that makes us feel better is so worth it.
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I think eventually the horrible feeing of getting dumped just gets tiring and this posts reminds me that there is a silver lining to every dark cloud 🙂 I can’t wait to read what you’ll end up writing!
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It’s good I read this post today! Not soon after, it served as a reminder 🙂
It does get very tiring and sometimes a headache to keep self pity and tears at bay. There is always a silver lining, we just blind ourselves to that sometimes… but it’s good to know it’s there… I don’t know what I’d write, but not just yet… still struggling :’)
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Reblogged this on timelesswheel and commented:
If you look really close, there’s always a silver lining…
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Breaking up sometimes is like letting the specks in one’s eyes fall off so that one could see clearly.
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So true, you don’t really know what your relationship is like until you take a step back from it
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Exactly.
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Number 5 kind of reminded me… I spent most of 2011 in a relationship that had all the stifling of a stifling relationship without most of the actual time together. After we’d been together officially for about a month, she decided to make a major career change that involved moving back home, 500 miles away. I was just expected to be okay with that and find a job down there. And once she did move, it was like pulling teeth to get her to pay attention to me or spend time with me, even during the two times I went to visit. Granted, she did tell me before we were officially together that her eventual plan in life was to move back home. But, at that time, her plan was such that moving back home was still 2 or 3 years off, and if we were still together that long, we probably would be talking about spending the rest of our lives together by then.
(We stayed together for four months after she moved, but I eventually realized that I just didn’t need that kind of one-sided relationship where she was more interested in finding someone to tag along with her life rather than build a life together. There were other issues too…)
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ugh I’ve definitely been there trying to pull teeth for attention, not fun!
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Something interesting happened… in December of that year, about a week after she was going to come up here and visit her old roommates (notice I didn’t say visit me, because that’s the way it felt when we were talking about when we’d get to see each other), I had a dream. In my dream, I went to see my parents, and the last remaining cat from my childhood (who had died five years earlier in real life) was still alive, but so old she could barely function. I woke up, and I knew immediately that that dream meant something: sometimes it’s not worth it to hang on to things whose time has passed and can’t function anymore. I knew at that moment that our relationship would not survive to the end of her upcoming visit. I initiated the breakup conversation at 10pm on New Year’s Eve, and I never saw her again.
So while the rest of the world was watching the ball drop, I was at home, alone, Facebooking and watching a replay of the local NBA team’s game from earlier that night. A message from the mutual friend that had introduced us popped up on Facebook a couple hours later… I was thinking, great, she’s going to be mad at me for breaking up with her friend… but the message said something like, “Hey, I heard about what happened. I’m sorry. I hope 2012 is a better year for you. I know she’s my friend, but I really didn’t like the way she treated you sometimes.” I thought, if one of her best friends is being supportive of me in this breakup, then I really did make the right decision.
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I’m still learning some of this, but so far everyting on your list is accurate – except having more money. I do not have that. Not even close. But I have enough to get by and that’s more than enough for right now
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All so true Rosie. Big intense relationships can be all-consuming pushing out everyone else and anything else in your life.
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Number 10 is the ultimate! Finding out who we really are is incredibly important and so rewarding.
It’s always good to hear a positive spin on a negative event – thanks Rosie!
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Great post, I had the learned the same lessons too but in due time 🙂 adversity ultimately helps us grow stronger I think 🙂
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