I grew up in this very specific point of the 2000s where one of the worst things you could be called was a “poser.” I was deep into the emo aesthetic and refused to like anything considered cool. I didn’t wear pink, I didn’t like Taylor Swift, I refused to wear yoga pants and leggings because I didn’t want to be basic.
It took me a long time to get past hating popular things. It was pretty engrained in me and I’ll credit a lot of that to internal mysogyny and not knowing how to support other women when they were different than me.
But now – I’ve full-on embraced it. It’s a lesson that took me a long time to learn. You should wear things or listen to things or do things because you LIKE them. Not because they’re cool or not cool or fit your aesthetic. Taylor Swift is popular because she’s a bad ass independent woman with some major bops. Yoga pants are popular because they’re comfortable. If people want to do things that make them “basic” then that’s just fine.
Popular things are popular for a reason, it’s because they’re good and people like them!
I actually think this realization is one of the best things about being an adult. Growing up and trying to fit in while wanting to stand out is so difficult. You either like the popular things to fit in or you rebel against them, like I did, to stand out. As a 28 year old, I don’t really feel the need to impress anyone and if I did, I’m not going to let that stop me from fan girling over Olivia Rodrigo, wearing duckboots that don’t match my outfit in the winter, or making TikToks because I think it’s fun.
Stop hating on people who like popular things and just let people live their lives.
Rosie Culture 
Good for you.
I remember thinking back in that time period that people were hating everything that was popular because everyone else was hating everything that was popular, but that is exactly the dynamic that makes something popular in the first place. That’s the inherent paradox around building a subculture around not doing what everyone else is doing.
Random story about the word “poser”… A decade or so ago, there was this weekly event I used to be part of, and I used to give rides there to this girl whom I’ll call “Sarah” for the purpose of storytelling. (It seems like I’ve told this story to someone on the Internet recently, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t you so I’ll continue.) Sarah was very popular with all the guys there; she was pretty good looking and, well, honestly, had a nice rack. She told people what they wanted to hear to get on their good side, or possibly in bed with them, then she left them behind for cooler people that came along later, as she did to me after about six months of carpooling.
During that time, I was watching baseball with Mom and Dad, and I said something about the player Buster Posey, who was making a lot of news in the baseball world that year and would go on to win Rookie of the Year playing on his first of so far three World Series championship teams. I laughed and said that I had caught myself, but I almost accidentally called him Busty Poser. Then I said it must be because I’ve been hanging around Sarah, because she is a busty poser.
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This was so well said. I wish I had realized this sooner too!
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This was so well said. I wish I had realized this sooner too
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I have a confession: I used to call people poser all the time in middle school. They would wear the skater brands, but didn’t skateboard and it really irritated me because most of them where preppy and I took it as a sign that they were showing off how much money their parents would spend on them because that stuff wasn’t cheap! And honestly I’d probably still do it today. It’s just like girls wearing band t’s, but they don’t listen to said band–that stuff irks me.
I guess the bottom line for me is if you’re not going to acknowledge the cultural context surrounding the clothes you wear, then maybe you shouldn’t be wearing it.
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Lol yes that’s the exact context of poser I’m talking about! I was always into emo music and would get so mad when the preppy girls would wear band ts
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