Relationships are hard for a number of reasons. They involve two people, each who has their own thoughts, feelings, and complicated structure. Two people that are trying to melt their lives into one. To have one set of thoughts, feelings, and one single complicated structure.
Sometimes it can be hard to find the person that’s right for you. Sometimes it can be so easy to fall in love. But the beginning of a relationship is rarely the hard part – the months and years and rest of your life that follows is the hard part.
You have to be so self aware. You have to constantly know how you’re feeling and how to talk about it so it doesn’t get in the way of anything. When you lose your self awareness and settle into the relationship bed you’ve made, problems can’t be identified anymore. You can’t see happiness or sadness or jealousy or rage. You just see your relationship and it is what it is.
Are you still in love or are you just comfortable? Sure, you can’t picture your life without him but that’s only because you’ve spent so much time with him. Because you have structured your life around another person and have become painfully unaware of your own feelings.
Do you stick out the fights, the jealousy, the unhappiness because you’re in love? Love does not have to be pain, in fact it should be the one thing that makes you feel better when it’s reciprocated.
This relationship may be your norm now, but it wasn’t always this way. And if you step back and take a good hard look at your feelings and your relationship, you’ll be able to see if it’s worth fighting for. You’ll be able to see if you’re in love or just comfortable.
Rosie Culture 
Well written. It’s true that
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Absolutely love this! I realized so many times that I actually was not in love with the person I was with, but I just felt like I had to be with them because I was so comfortable being with them
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Thank you! Good for you for recognizing it, it’s hard to figure out!
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I asked this question to my boyfriend, and he laughed it off… we broke up a week later. Thanks for sharing!
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ah that’s rough, I’m sorry! Thank you for reading!
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It’s always the hardest after the rose colored lens have failed. Maintaining a relationship is the mysterious ailment of all.
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Yes definitely!
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I wrote about this too in my blog back in August. I was in a relationship where I was comfortable, not in love anymore and it was horribly unfair to both him and me
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it’s so hard to realize and even to explain!
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You write such sense in a very caring and helpful way
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Thank you 🙂
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I’ve been told that people who are truly in love never marry and people who are comfortable always do. I think, for the most part, it’s true.
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Hmmm I definitely get people who are comfortable getting married, they probably even have a quicker turnaround time between dating and manage than those truly in love do
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I think so too. A lot of people are looking for “more” without realizing they need to create that “more” before getting married.
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