My introduction to relationships didn’t exactly start off on the right foot. I know we learn a lot from our households growing up, and mine just wasn’t really ideal. I don’t remember much lovey-dovey stuff happening after I was a kid so for many of my formative years I didn’t really know a lot of parents who were married and actually showed that they liked each other.
Besides that, I also consumed a lot of books with I-would-die-for-you romance and often wondered why there was no Edward to my Bella or why I hadn’t yet met a handsome man who was also trained in fighting against aliens and we would have our meetcute when he saved me from an invasion.
Not the best circumstances to enter my first relationship in, all doe-eyed and ready for someone to sweep me off my feet and save me from the woes of high school. So I started to learn the hard way that love isn’t exactly like the books…especially not the fantasy books I was reading.
And when I learned what love wasn’t, I set out to find what it was by absolutely refusing to give anyone my heart and kind of just observe from the outside how they felt about me rather than how I felt about them.
As you can imagine, that’s not really the best way to experience love. But I did learn a lot, and I did let myself heal enough before taking on another relationship.
And honestly I didn’t really learn what relationships were supposed to be like until my current one. Because I required a lot of patience, I saw immediately that love is what you make it and how you make it work. Along with honest conversations with my friends about their relationships, I really began to see that a good relationship is one where you just love being with each other and you choose each other every single day. You don’t need to profess your undying love at every moment, there doesn’t need to be some great obstacles, there doesn’t need to be fireworks at every kiss – especially when you’re years into the the relationship.
A good relationship just is. Everyone used to say to me “when you know, you know” and I’m here to tell you that you don’t HAVE to know right now, but eventually there will come a time when you know it’s it or you know it’s not.