Why We Plan On Eloping

I threw tradition out the window a long, long time ago. Our engagement was anything but traditional. No down on one knee, no surprise, no diamond that would put us in massive debt. I wanted to do it our way, on our terms.

I just don’t care about other people’s opinions anymore. I truly don’t want to hear it. Our relationship is about no one other than ourselves, that’s the hard truth. It’s a little selfish and I’ll admit that, but the more people I let into that bubble, the more negativity that enters too.

Lots and lots of our friends are getting married right now, and their weddings are lots of fun and they look so beautiful and happy. But I’ve been a bridesmaid and I’ve been a guest and BOTH are stressful enough for me! Planning as soon as the ring slips on your finger, the absolutely insane costs of weddings these days (the average cost of a wedding in the US was $28,000 in 2019), the long hours of getting ready, having to dedicate your day to thanking friends and family for coming and making sure everything is going smoothly…it’s all just too much for me.

The cost alone is enough for me to say no thanks. Especially when you don’t even get to sit down and eat for the plates you’re paying for. And so many of the decisions made for your wedding don’t even end up being your own. 20 added guests because it’s your parents that are paying for it, settling for a location that’s more convenient to your guests, etc. etc.

So we plan on eloping because I just don’t want to plan at all at the end of the day. And I just want our wedding and our marriage to be ours. I’ll rent a dress, he’ll dress casually, we’ll go to the courthouse.

And hopefully we’ll be able to throw a big backyard party to celebrate, but it will be on our terms and as low-pressure as possible.

20 thoughts on “Why We Plan On Eloping

  1. That sounds lovely. We got married last year and I have a few people not talking to me at the moment because I didn’t invite them or did something they disagreed with but much like you I wanted the day to be about me and my partner and our happiness.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. We had a traditional wedding which I didn’t want, but it ended up being really nice in the end. I suggested a courthouse wedding but my husband wasn’t on board with that. He says that’s “not a true wedding.” But a true wedding is what you make of it!

    Weddings are $$$ and we kept it within our means. The wedding was far from frugal though. Also, I’m not into party planning but managed to plan everything within 4 months (yes, we only had 4 months to plan a wedding). The location was closer to home, in the same city where I first met my husband. We spent $22,000 CAD which included my $2,000 wedding dress. I’m picky when it comes to dresses and there’s only one kind of dress that looks decent on me. I didn’t spend much time picking out a dress because I couldn’t be bothered. I let the bridesmaids pick the dress color and style of their dresses. They ordered them online. I didn’t meet up with them until the wedding day. There was no bachelorette party. No DJ. No honeymoon. A small wedding cake and a bunch of individual cupcakes which nobody ate because they were too full. We had cupcake containers so guests could take them home. We had a buffet which was catered at the reception and the food was amazing! We definitely broke some rules 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I’m not sure how we managed to pull it off honestly. We only had 4 months to plan it because there was a space available in early May which was a good time of year for us to get married. We’ve been married for 5 years now!

        Liked by 2 people

  3. I’ve always been curious as to why middle-class people would spend hundreds of thousands of dollars for their wedding here in Malaysia, then spend a good amount of time repaying that debt. A wedding’s supposed to be about the couple, yet they dedicate that day to others. I too would enjoy a simple wedding when the time comes. But even then there’s a lot of planning involved. Great on you for wanting this. And thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 4 people

      1. I felt the same way many many years ago when I got married. We decided not have a big wedding either and I don’t regret that decision at all. It was nice not having to spend tons of money, planning and trying to make everyone else happy lol. My wedding was simple and stress-free 😁. Wishing you all the best 😁

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I plan to have a destination wedding. Only the real ones would put in the time and effort to save up and tag along. Also, destination weddings are really good at shaving down the number of people that come so it would make it much easier for me to have quality time with them one on one. I hear too many stories about how the bride and groom don’t get to talk to every guest that comes to their wedding because there is so much going on and so many people to get to. With the destination wedding that I am planning on having, it would be a vacation for me and my groom as well as the guests that are willing to come. I want a week long, intimate celebration with my loved ones. We’ll be able to share stories with each other of the jewels we found in whatever town we’re in or we would all try new experiences and activities together in this foreign area. It all sounds great now. Hopefully I can make it come true 🤞


      1. I’d rather spend big money on a new experience than decorations, a DJ, and catering for a large crowd of people I most likely won’t get to talk to one on one


  4. Sounds like a plan. Planning to do the same if and when I get around to it. Better to use the money for the honeymoon and for the future than just on a big party.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I applaud you for planning a wedding your own way! We are still having a larger wedding than I would choose -but I’ve had to compromise. But we are ditching so many traditions which makes me happy. I always remind myself, we have to remain ourselves and not do things just because society says we should. Congrats!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. We had a small intimate garden wedding and it was absolute perfection. Every guest that came (we had 18) commented on how it was the best wedding they’ve ever attended because it was so relaxed. I would do it over again 1,000 times but that’s just because it was exactly what we wanted; that really is the key to a great wedding.

    Liked by 1 person

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