One thing that can become extremely exhausting is always feeling the need to prove yourself.
I think I’m a pretty defensive person, I’m a middle child so I feel like I had to hold my ground a lot growing up. Felt like I had to prove myself while sandwiched between 2 older sisters and 1 younger sister.
My defensiveness is something I’ve been working on, along with my confidence. Sometimes I overcompensate for my lack of confidence by being too strong willed or thinking I’m always right – which is certainly not the case.
But even so, I shouldn’t have to feel the need to defend myself or prove myself day in and day out.
Whether it’s work, with friends, with family, with an online presence. At the end of the day the people close to you will know who you are. At the end of the day you were hired for a reason. At the end of the day real life always trumps internet life.
And even though I know that’s all true, it’s still exhausting when I feel doubted and have to prove myself.
Rosie, when I was your age… I felt like I had to prove myself ALL the time. I have learning disabilities and have dealt with discrimination and rejection for most of my life. It really bothered me then…so much that I would practically wear myself out more than once, wanting to be accepted. I wasted so much time worrying about this! Now 25+ years later, I just don’t care about what other people think. They are going to feel about me however they are going to feel.
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Good for you! ❤️ I am starting to realize that I can’t change everyone’s minds
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I am also a defensive person, but I’m an only child. For me, it stems from being raised in an abusive household and then moving to a country run by the White patriarchy. Black women are always on trial here, and immigrants too. Women overall are not respected or treated fairly.
Self-awareness is an important first step to rectifying that. Now, when I catch myself trying to “justify” anything, I stop and leave well enough alone. I owe no one an explanation for my existence or my choices, particularly when they don’t affect anyone else.
All the best!
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❤️❤️ well said
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