Forgetting Not Forgiving

The phrase goes: forgive and forget. Stop feeling the resent you feel towards someone and put it in the back of your mind.  That person’s mistake that caused you anger or hurt is gone forever and you move on with your life.

I’ve never really been one to forgive because a lot of people ask for second chances.  Then a third chance.  Then eventually they’re taking total advantage of your kindness.

In most cases, I forget rather than forgive.

There are circumstances I’ve been put in where I’ve been hurt enough just to give up on that person completely.  They don’t deserve my trust, my friendship, or me in their life in general.  I don’t mean it egotistically. I just feel so taken advantage of that I can’t ever act towards this person the way I did before – all they cause is pain – so I remove them from my life.

I delete them from social media.  I stop answering their texts. I don’t say hi when I see them in the bar.

I don’t make a big deal out of it, I don’t yell or scream.  I don’t subtweet cruelly or give death stares. Because I don’t see why someone who chose to wrong me should even deserve my attention at all. Why should I allow the possibility of hurt back into my life when I can just get rid of it all together?

I have a hard time forgiving because that just allows me to be vulnerable again.  Forgiving means, to me, justifying what you did wrong and in most cases – I just can’t do that.

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to be around you.