Your Bad Relationship Didn’t Waste Your Time

I think we all experience some sort of regret after a break up. It just feels like you spent so much of your life dedicated to one person when you could have been doing other things. You could have been traveling, you could have been spending more time with your friends and family, you could be meeting new people, you could have already met someone who you wouldn’t be breaking up with.

The longer the amount of time, the harder it hurts. When my four year relationship at the age of 20 ended, all I could think was how I had just wasted 1/5 of my life on someone I would never see again. All I could think about is all of the things I missed out on the past four years – all of the time wasted.

But your bad relationship did not waste your time.

It’s so much easier to focus on the sad memories rather than the happy memories – but there were happy memories. And there were lessons folded into the relationship – as well as in the break up.

You don’t have to admit it, but that person changed you. For better or for worse, they taught you more about yourself than you would have ever learned on your own.

And sure – regret is easy and time feels wasted when you knew at one point the relationship wasn’t worth it but kept trying anyway. But you can’t hang on to that regret. Because no matter how old you are, you still have time left.

Learn from the mistakes, grow from the break up, and carry on without the weight of your past relationships. It wasn’t a waste of time, it was a necessary lesson. But the more time you spend thinking about how you wasted all that time, the more time you are actually wasting right now.

Put that relationship in your pocket and continue your life. It’s hard, we’re often blinded by love and hate and sadness, but you can make up for that time. And you can do it better and bolder than you would have without the relationship ever happening.

47 thoughts on “Your Bad Relationship Didn’t Waste Your Time

  1. This is an excellent point that changed my life, years after the break up of course. I’m stubborn & refuse to do things the easy way!

    Liked by 8 people

  2. i totally agree with this. He taught me that am strong beyond measure after our 3yr relationship ended. at first i regretted it how i wasted my time to someone who deeply loved me yet had the guts to hurt me the worst. now am more strong, past it, living life. YOLO

    Liked by 8 people

  3. Reblogged this on and commented:
    Going through a breakup? You hate them! You don’t know how you could ever date them! But the more you say it, the more it isn’t true. You dated them for a reason and at the time it was a good idea for you. You will be forever shaped by your relationships with people, whether past or current. Check out this post about how a breakup helps define who you are as a person. It might give you a whole new perspective on your past and a more optimistic outlook for your future.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. So great that you’re putting this out there. This is a much healthier view of failed relationships and will no doubt help the brokenhearted move on with calm and confidence.

    Liked by 7 people

  5. Yep! I like to say that you shouldn’t regret anything that you learnt from. That was the hardest thing when my two year quasi-relationship ended. I couldn’t really take anything from how it ended, nor make any sense of it and that sucked.

    Liked by 5 people

  6. Before you can have a stable relationship you probably should ask yourself – what do I want from a relationship?
    You don’t ask, “What kind of man do I want?”
    You don’t ask, “What kind of woman do I want to be?”
    Just ask yourself how to people can be happy together and you will find a way to found a lasting relationship.

    Liked by 5 people

      1. You are absolutely right about that – the chances to meet your perfect match is just as good as winning the lottery. Some have luck, but most of us (the rest of the seven billion people on this planet) will look quite dissapointed at their not working relationships. That’s why you have to set a goal to yourself. And that goal has got to be: How can I be happy with this person?

        Liked by 5 people

  7. This is what I beat myself up over this… how could I be so stupid to get caught up in that friendship/relationship?? Why did I do that? Why did I invest so much energy in this person? Thank you for this post – it is very relatable and a reminder that these “bad” relationships are here to teach us lessons. Some of the best lessons are learnt from heartbreak and disappointments. ๐Ÿ’”

    I didn’t date until I was 21 but I have been in a relationship for 7 years now (married for 4 years). There are silver linings to everything. Sometimes, it doesn’t always make sense in the present moment and we will never know why things had to be a certain way. But I can assure anyone who has had their hearts broken or had a bad falling out with an ex-friend, it does get better. Trust yourself. ๐Ÿ™โค

    Liked by 4 people

  8. Love this! I tried to get this across in my own blogs and it’s so refreshing to read that I’m not the only one. Every challenge is experience that helps us grow. It’s another jigsaw piece that makes you who you are.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This is very relatable. I realized, feeling the way you described is a part of grieving the relationship. It takes a while to accept what happen and learned from it. Thank you for sharing ๐Ÿ’›

    Liked by 4 people

  10. I always say that relationships waste time but this was actually an eye opener cause I feel like each relationship or even just when dating makes you learn a bit more about yourself relationships always teach new things or show things we Didnโ€™t see in ourselves good or bad great post

    Liked by 3 people

  11. I totally agree with you. My relationships that ended up not working isn’t a regret. I’ve learnt a lot both the negative and the positive.
    We as humans sometimes due to disappointment or anger might resort to dwelling in regrets because of the failed relationship. But if you’re able to look beyond the hurt and all, you’ll see that it was worth it .

    Liked by 4 people

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