This may be a weird thing to admit, but when I was younger I always had a hard time picturing my future. Like I never thought I’d make it this far. Maybe I’d die young and leave a bittersweet memory, maybe I’d just vanish.
But here I am, about to be 29 years old, with no signs of stopping.
Most kids I knew in high school had a plan. And it looks like a lot of them are sticking to that plan. They wanted to go to college, they wanted to get a good job and get married and have kids and live happily ever after.
I didn’t really want to go to college. It was just something I felt I had to do. I didn’t really care if I got a good job and up until I got in a relationship, I didn’t want a family and kids (and now, I don’t want a family and kids again).
I’m terrified of getting old, I just don’t feel ready for it. Sometimes I sit and think about how my parents must feel looking at me and my sisters now, all grown up, and wondering where the time went. I feel that way just looking back at college. Where did the time go? Where did the freedom go?
I see tiny aspects of age in my life now, wear on my face and a struggle to lose weight. Stress every day. And can’t imagine what I’m going to look like in 10 years, how I’m going to feel. I don’t even know how I got to where I am now and I don’t know what the future looks like at all.
I still have the high school outlook, I’m just doing things because I’m supposed to be doing them. Then you get old. Then you die.
I wish I had more of an idea of what the future holds. As on overthinker, I know I worry far too much about it. But it’s just always something that’s in the back of my mind, especially when my birthday nears!
Rosie Culture 
I completely relate. I’m of a similar age and people from my school year are on their 2nd children whilst I dont really even want to date… crazy how different everything becomes in your 20s vs everyone being on a similar level at school!
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Totally agree! A lot of my friends are getting married now, when they start having kids I feel like we’ll be living completely different lives!
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I feel this. I’ve always been so conscious of my age and time passing, nothing ever felt like it really fit. I am so afraid of having regrets but also don’t feel ready for some big steps.
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Yes! The consciousness of it really holds me back
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I think we all go through this at some level. I never imagined myself getting old, ever. I honestly thought I would die young. Now I am 50 and look back thinking how did I get here? Every step was looking back. College, spouse, and kids. They cannot be old enough for college because wasn’t I just there?
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Thank you for sharing that, I always felt the same way! A weird way to live, but it’s just hard to imagine getting older even when we are older
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Rosie…as someone who is about to turn 43, let me reassure you getting old is a blessing. Sure I am starting to get wrinkles, age spots and gray hair but I think that is a sign that I have been living a good life.
Just enjoy how you are now and don’t worry about how you will be when you’re my age.
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Thank you 🙂
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I sometimes wonder how old age will treat me, like what to expect, how life will be, the highs and lows. It’s intriguing to say the least. I try to take it decade by decade now, especially since I’ll be closing out my 20s soon. 😬
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I’m the opposite. I spent my 20s looking forward to my 30s. Now I’m 30 and loving it! I look forward to the years ahead. I was definitely one of those people with a plan, but it doesn’t involve husbands and children. 🙃
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I admit I have fewer years ahead of me and more years behind me. The key I guess is to live the best life you can and focus on doing things that make life worthwhile. Don’t borrow trouble Rosie because there is too much of it to go around.
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I feel this too. When I turned 20 I remember being so scared of the decade ahead of me. I felt like I had to check everything off of my bucketlist because time was slipping away from me so quickly. I’m about to turn 27 too and I’m trying not to freak out about approaching 30! I think it’s okay to be scared of aging while still knowing that it’s a huge blessing to get to experience it.
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Right?? Ugh 30 is so close. The difference between now and when I turned 20 is so insane, I can’t even imagine how fast the next 10 years will go.
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Oh, please don’t be terrified. It is lovely to be just a bit older to know who you are and what you really need to be happy. I’m an old introvert, and now I am able to build my life in the way that makes me happy. I am 43 and love every moment of my full grown up life. And believe me, you will look gorgeous when you are older. People just age different nowadays, much slowlier than their predecessors.
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Aw thank you for that, I hope I will love it too!
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I’m also scared of getting old. I think our generation is obsessed with not aging. I have multiple friends who have had Botox before turning 30. We all lather on sunscreen to make sure we don’t end up with wrinkles. I found a single grey hair about a year ago (literally just 1!) and I felt my life was over. Maybe it’s social media that rushed us to grow up…and now is rushing us into feeling ancient.
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Spot on 😩
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Same here, but just don’t think about it! Just try to enjoy every moment because they’ll never come back!
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I get that. At age 39, I had a weird premonition that I wasn’t going to live to see 40. That didn’t happen, I’m now 46, but I think now I’m starting to get scared that I’ve wasted my life and I’m going to die alone without having done anything meaningful. I’m not really sure how to deal with that…
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Ugh I feel that kind of panic, I always have this looming feeling that I’m not doing enough and one day I’ll just disappear!
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That’s true I am also worried when ever I think about it 🙂
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I never had thoughts like you described until I turned 50. Since then (I’m 53 now) I think about those things much more often. But, we can only live in the moment we’re in- or as my friend says-“ride the train til the wheels come off”.
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I’m in a similar situation to you, but in a far more terrifying and different situation, which is why I’m frustrated and even regretting things I never dared to do in life; things that could have changed my life situation for the better. At the same time, I believe that our life desires and expectations do not always correspond to the path we are actually walking on. Fortunately, It is not only terrifying, but it also provides us with an opportunity to evaluate our lives if we dare to accept it, and use it wisely to facilitate our next plans, or even B plans, with regard to our life path.
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