Yes, I know, when it rains, it pours. But recently for me it feels more like when it rains, it monsoons.
There’s so much advice thrown around on days like this. A lot of “it will get better!” and “think positively!“. But my advice to you on a day like this is to just accept how much it sucks. Because it does suck and you’re allowed to just have a terrible day and wallow in how terrible it is.
Should that attitude last forever? No. And it will get better and if you continue to think negatively then it will negatively impact your life. But for today, everything sucks and everyone can shut up.
When a bad day gets worse, it’s best to just accept how truly bad it is and just laugh at how much has gone wrong. I’m not usually laughing in a oh-this-day-was-so-funny kind of way but more of a my-life-is-a-complete-joke kind of way and that’s just fine. Deal with it how you have to deal with it. If that’s with a bowl of queso or two or a glass of wine or five then DO IT.
You’re allowed to have bad days and just let them be bad. We’re human and this week totally sucks.
As anticipated, winter is moving by slowly. We still have well over a month left before Spring comes and I can be hopeful for summer. I was sick of the cold the day it started. I’ve gotten some things done on my winter bucket list and I think I can actually finish it if I can hit my social media goals!
I haven’t been able to get myself to the gym more than once a week lately and I always feel guilty about it. But there are times when you want to go to the gym and you’re too lazy and then there are times you just don’t want to go. And I just don’t feel up to going.
And some days I eat a lot more than I should or eat things that really aren’t good for me. And I feel bad about myself even though I was just listening to what my body wants.
I just want to stop being mad at myself about these things.
Being mad at yourself isn’t going to change anything, it’s just going to motivate you less. It will just lower your self-esteem until you can’t even get out of bed or until you’re loading your plate with junk food.
Didn’t meditate today? It’s okay. Didn’t go to the gym today, yesterday, or the day before that? It’s okay. Ate a whole pizza today? It’s okay. Slept in and had an unproductive day? It’s okay.
We can’t be mad at ourselves for listening to what our bodies want. If you can’t get yourself to the gym or you keep napping after work – it’s probably because you need it. But if you’re ignoring your body and going to the gym anyway or ignoring your body’s pleas to get active – that’s not okay.
But just stop being mad at yourself for these tiny things that just aren’t going to make a big impact on your life. There’s no reason to be so hard on yourself.
I think I am the exception to most people my age, but since graduating college I will have lived in 5 different places. I graduated at 22 and am now 24 to put things in context for you. That’s 5 places in 2 and a half years and you can bet they were all life lessons.
When I graduated from college, I convinced my parents to let me stay at the house I’d been living in the past two years of college because I got an internship sort of nearby. College campuses in the summer are a whole new type of weird I can’t even explain and they are also very empty. I spent a lot of time living between different houses and traveling a long ways to work. When the internship ended, I moved home and got a job there.
Living at home is definitely something I know a lot of people can relate to. It’s like you automatically revert back to your 16 year old self when living with your parents. My parents had moved out of my childhood home when I was in college, so this was pretty strange for me. I didn’t really have my own room that was truly mine with any space for my stuff. I saved a lot of money, but my job was very basic and my parents were driving me nuts. So 6 months after I moved in, I got a new job and moved out.
I was in a rush and on a deadline, so I moved into a house with 3 other roommates. They were all strangers and they continued to be strangers the 10 months I lived there. I’m not very outgoing and everyone was on different schedules and were different ages. I spent most of the time in my room or tip toeing to the bathroom and kitchen. I really thought it was going to be super temporary, but I stayed there for almost a year until it became just too weird for me.
So, I moved out again. This time into a single apartment with a small kitchenette attached to the living room. I was paying for everything myself so I didn’t buy cable/wifi and I also didn’t have a freezer or oven. I’m coming up on a year at this apartment and it’s kind of amazing that I lived without things that a lot of people consider necessities. While I loved the apartment, it was time to take a next step and move in with my boyfriend.
In a few weeks we’ll be moving into a two bedroom, two bathroom apartment with a loft that I’m obsessed with. After this, I really hope to stay put for a while because anyone who has moved a lot knows that moving in and out is not fun. At all.
My word for 2018 is present because I find myself struggling to be happy in the moments I’m in. I wrote a post a while back asking for advice and a lot of you offered really manageable tips for me to integrate in my life.
So here’s a few things I am going to try to do to become more present. I don’t want it to be September of 2018 when I realize I’m just starting to get the hang of it, it’s something I want to happen now and be able to maintain for the rest of my life.
Continue with my gratitude journal.
I got a little off track with this so I will be writing, daily, the things I am grateful for.
Do one thing every day that forces me to unplug.
I am on technology constantly. I want to spend at least a half hour every day reading, painting, cleaning, taking a bath, or doing something offline.
Set an alarm on my phone that makes me stop and think about how I feel in the moment. I’m thinking around 3:30 every day (around the time I am crashing at work) I will have my alarm go off and I will analyze my senses and feelings. It takes just a second to remind myself to snap out of the day dreams and enjoy today.
So far, that’s my plan! I think incorporating little things every day will help me get into a more present mindset on a large scale. I’m open to more tips if you’d like to leave them in the comments!
My word for 2017 was enough. You can read more about it here. And it may have taken me a whole 365 days to really grasp the word, but I did it. I don’t feel guilty on lazy days, I don’t drain all my energy for other people, I’ve had enough of that and I’m not going back. Though I could work on my self-esteem and thinking that I look good enough, I’m happy with the progress I made.
My word for 2018 is presence.
I truly struggle with being okay with where I am. I’m constantly thinking of my next steps. Where are we traveling to next? When will I have to start looking for a new apartment? Where is my next move? How long should I stay at this job? I think of everything except the present.
Because I also get caught up in the past a lot. Why did I do that? How do I get past all of this regret from high school and college? Why did I trust him? What made me ignore important signs? Why couldn’t I have been better?
But what I really need to do is ask myself questions about what’s happening right. now. How do I feel today? What can I do today that will help me feel more present? What have I accomplished today? Can I do better today or make an effort to do better tomorrow? Am I appreciating what I have? Do I need to relax or do I need to go out?
I want to be fully committed to where I am right now instead of searching for happiness down the road. I don’t want to work for the weekend and live just to die. I want every day to be special, even if it’s just me rocking out in the car and taking time to myself or as big as going on an awesome vacation.
In 2018 I will be present. What’s your word for this year?
Sometimes, it feels like it’s so hard to hold on to childhood memories. You can find them in old photos, some of your old things. If you’re like me and your parents have moved out of your childhood home and you don’t really have any childhood friends – then you may feel those memories slip even faster.
One of the last real reminder of my childhood was my dog. She passed away recently and I took it a lot harder than I thought I was going to. When I went through all my photos of her, I found so many from her in my childhood home and when I was a kid. She always reminded me of home, so it was really hard to come to terms with letting go of her.
Losing a pet is just like losing a family member. And not like your great aunt, but a brother or a sister. A friend.
They get so old and you know it’s their time to go – but how do you let go of your best friend? I think we all need to drop what we’re doing and collectively come up with a way to make dogs live forever because we need that kind of love on this earth.
There’s a level of guilt that comes with losing a pet, too. Did I see them enough? Did I try my best to save them? Was the last belly rub I gave a good enough one?
Just with any family member, you just have to trust that they knew that loved them. You just have to trust that they were as happy as they could be and you gave them a good life. Because I know for a fact that even though my dog was a huge pain in the ass, she was the best thing to come out of my childhood.