Bumble BFF – First Impressions

I’ll start this off by saying I haven’t met up with anyone in real life from Bumble BFF. And I’ll follow it up with saying that I hated dating and making friends is just like dating…so I hate this also.

If you’ve been following me for a few months now, you’ll know I’ve had little faith in Bumble BFF from the beginning. Trying to capture if someone will make a good friend from their photos and a few sentences on their profile is impossible. But for an introvert like me, it’s the easiest way to get myself out there.

So I tried. I swiped and widened my age range and location range to get a good group of people. I matched. I started conversations and let them be started by the other party. And they all fizzled within a couple hours. Shallow small talk makes it hard for you to actually get to know someone and if you’re anything like me, I hate texting in the first place so it’s hard to even get past that small talk.

Someone on the app told me that unless you make plans, real plans not just floating the usual “oh yeah let’s hang out.” Then you won’t actually become friends. This turned me off the app because it almost seems like you have to match someone, have a short conversation, then meet up with them immediately.

I haven’t given up completely. I didn’t delete the app from my phone. But I’ve been keeping busy on my own so it doesn’t feel like a good time anymore to try to incorporate someone else into my life.

If you have any Bumble BFF success stories, I’d love to hear them in the comments! Maybe I’ll get back to swiping one day.

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March Recap

Favorite show: Good Trouble

Favorite memory: The weather warmed up and we were finally able to explore our little city. We went to a bar with board games and an amazing bookstore with great coffee and then just spend the weekend relaxing!

Favorite place: Boston!

Favorite meal: It’s not a meal…but I had a really pretty purple drink and it was sooo good – a special gin, prosecco, lemon, and elderberry.

Favorite Instagram: This cool shot from Boston.

Favorite Tweet: Did you see my Irish soda bread?

One thing I did to get out of my comfort zone: Presented at a work meeting and even got kudos from one of my coworkers!

Favorite book: I read Crazy Little Thing and Matchmaking for Beginners: A Novel. I enjoyed both ๐Ÿ™‚

Favorite blog post: Dealing with Embarrassment 

Favorite collaboration: I got a new joy razor that is really cute and I’ve been loving it!

Tell me one of your favorite things about March in the comments!

Taking A Step Back From Instagram

I started my blog a long time ago, mainly focusing on relationships and break ups and hoping I was helping other people through what I was going through. And since it’s transformed, it’s more general but I’m still trying to help people through what I’m going through.

I’ve always been a writer, I’ve always been better about hiding behind my words instead of standing in front of a camera. Being an influencer and a blogger goes hand in hand, so I started building my Instagram following and taking on sponsored campaigns. It was fun for a while, but now it’s just work.

I have a blogging epiphany like every 3 months and recently I was staring at my Instagram feed and was noticing what people liked about it and what they didn’t. I was mostly noticing that 90% of my following doesn’t even interact with my posts, but the 10% that do really care about what I’m doing. That’s when it hit me.

I don’t want people to follow me just because I’m following them and I don’t want to follow people just so they follow me. I’ve recently started unfollowing hundreds of accounts, from mommy bloggers, to people who don’t speak the same language as me, to style bloggers who dress a world’s outside my budget. And I’m actually starting to enjoy Instagram again and seeing people who actually inspire me.

Now my 10% who cares has my focus and they are who I really want to target and inspire. Even though my numbers will drop and that will mean less sponsored posts, I’m so much happier creating content on my terms. I’m hoping this will relieve the stress I feel from a stupid app.

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My Completed Winter Bucket List

I will be the first to admit that my winter bucket list was way too ambitious for someone who was moving out of state and starting a new job. I like to push myself in the winter months though because I tend to get lazy. I did pretty well, but I’m looking forward to including some of these items on my spring bucket list and knocking it out of the park.

  1. Move to New Hampshire!
  2. Learn to play guitar
  3. Go to the gym 3x a week
  4. Text my friends at least once a week
  5. Go to a concert
  6. Read 5 books
  7. Be more productive after work
  8. Start journaling again
  9. Keep my blog stats up
  10. Go on a weekend trip
  11. 7,500 Instagram followers
  12. 650 Facebook likes
  13. 2,000 Twitter followers
  14. Make at least one snow angel!
  15. Get a new piercing
  16. Finish my photo album
  17. Send โ€œwe moved!โ€ cards to friends and family
  18. Explore one new town in New England

Whatโ€™s one thing you did this winter that you’re proud of?

How To Disconnect From Work

I used to never have an issue with a work/life balance until I was promoted and took on more responsibility.

I didn’t spend the hours after work thinking about my day and what my next day would look like. I wasn’t brainstorming ideas for a project. I wasn’t thinking about how I was going to answer those emails, but now work follows me home and it’s extremely exhausting.

If you’re like me and need to disconnect from work, here are some things that have helped me:

Set your hours – unless I have a special event or something, my hours are 8:30 to 5. There is wiggle room, but anything outside of those hours I am not doing work.

Delete email from your phone – I don’t sync up my work email to my phone. I can check it if I log in online, but that’s a much lengthier process than just opening an app. I don’t let myself check email outside my working hours.

Take the PTO – I never had a problem taking my time off until now. Even though I know things will continue just fine without me, there is a level of guilt when taking time off and shirking responsibilities.

Stop talking about work – when I’m not at work, I don’t talk about work. Sometimes my boyfriend and I will exchange complaints. But we don’t harp on the topic of work after work hours.

Unplug in general – after work is a great time to leave your phone in the other room. My work temptation stems from my phone so I try not to stay with it after work is done.

Remember your job is important, but your mental health is more important. Don’t get too caught up in living to work.

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Dealing With Embarrassment

I’m embarrassed all the time. And when I get embarrassed, it never leaves my mind. Most recently I’ve had days where everything is going right and I’m so thrilled and then one little thing will happen that throws the whole day off. Like when someone scolded me for dragging some chairs on “historical” floors or when I tried to open the door for a blind person and ended up making things way more complicated. I think about those things all day, I think about them years later.

But I recently read this: think of all the times you’ve been embarrassed, now think of a time when someone else was embarrassed.

It’s hard to remember. I’m thinking back to college, trying to remember the weird or ratchet things some of my friends did. And while a few things come to mind, I don’t know how embarrassed by it they were.

And no one else remembers those things that embarrassed you. The guy who scolded me won’t remember me after a few days go by, the blind person who deals with difficulties every day won’t remember me. We are so wrapped up in ourselves and the things we do, sometimes we just need to let it go.

It is never as bad as you thought it was and no one else will even remember it. Embarrassment is a part of life, but you can’t let it eat you alive.

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