Updated Summer Bucket List

Summer is my favoriteeee season! Because summer is so different when you’re out of school and working, it took me a while to adjust to that summer, care-free feeling. Mostly because I still have a lot of cares, like a lot of them. But I’m making big plans and my list is below – what will you be doing this summer?

  1. Go Blonder
  2. Read 10 books
  3. Go to the gym frequently
  4. Visit 3 out of state locations
  5. Go hiking in 3 places
  6. Go kayaking
  7. Start taking more pride in my appearance
  8. Make more plans with friends
  9. Make content calendar for instagram
  10. Reach 2,000 WordPress followers
  11. Reach 7,000 Instagram followers
  12. Reach 550 likes on Facebook
  13. Find my independence
  14. Get a pet
  15. Keep my apartment clean for more than a week
  16. Visit Grounds for Sculpture
  17. Go to a sporting event
  18. Buy concert tickets
  19. Adjust my routine

Spend A Day On Your Own

I grew up being very shy and dependent. I was probably in my late teens before I could even order my own meal at a restaurant, I would always whisper it in my mom’s ear first. I didn’t think I could do anything new on my own, I was terrified at the thought.

The first time I ate alone was when I was a freshman in college, I went to the cafeteria by myself because no one was answering their phones and I was getting so frustrated with making friends. I sat by myself and a couple of kids asked me to eat with them, they ended up being kind of creepy, and I didn’t feel empowered at all. I just felt like a loser.

But not being able to do things on your own is such a debilitating fear. I missed out on plenty of things I wanted to do just because I couldn’t find anyone to go with me.

So I started forcing my hand. I would buy two tickets to a concert or one airplane ticket for a weekend trip, I left it up to fate if someone would end up going with me. And I wasn’t afraid to do it on my own. Why waste time and experiences by being dependent on someone else?

This weekend, I spent the day in Philadelphia – a place I’ve been to many times before. I went with my boyfriend, but he had plans that I wasn’t really interested in. So while he was busy, I went off on my own. I ate lunch by myself and then saw a movie by myself. I took a walk by myself and just reveled in doing something by myself that wasn’t laying in bed and watching Netflix.

If you own it, it’s eye opening and empowering to do the things you enjoy by yourself. The key to your happiness shouldn’t be in someone else’s pocket and you need to learn how to unlock it yourself before depending on other people. I encourage you to spend a day on your own, learn about yourself, and just have fun.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/chrisschoenbohm/

I’m Obsessed With Change

A lot of people are scared of changing. They are scared of the unknown and they are scared of their loved ones changing. Because when people change, you don’t always change with them.

But I actually love change. For four years of my life I was the same person, dating the same guy. I went into college and refused to change and it didn’t benefit me at all. It wasn’t until that relationship ended that I realized change just means growth and we all need to grow.

So I make big changes. I took a new job, moved out, planned trips.

But you can’t always make big changes. So I made small changes, too. I cut my hair, I picked up a new work out routine, and learned new hobbies.

And while a lot of people would be afraid to do all of these things, these are the things that keep me going. I get so bored by staying in the same place and doing the same things.

Sometimes I think my need for change makes me restless and can impact my relationships. Because if I get bored of my hair every month, what makes me want to stay with the same person every month? And if I get bored of the state I live in, how can I keep a job for more than a year? And if I feel my personality changing every couple of months, how can I hold on to my friends?

I don’t want to suppress the change, but I also don’t want to lose everything I love because I’m bored of things. So I work at the things I love and change them ever so slightly to keep them interesting. Eventually, I’ll be able to make the big changes. But for now, I love what I have and I keep them as fun as possible.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/auspices/

The Hookup On: Being A Planner

My room is a mess, my hair is a mess, my car is a mess – but my planner is not. My schedule is not. Because the only thing I can really seem to organize is my time and my planner.

If it’s not in my planner, it might as well not even exist. I have all of my goals, all of my lists, all of my life in my planner.

They forced planners upon us in grade school and I seriously never grew out of it. I used one all through high school, all through college, and now in the real world – I have TWO planners.

Without them, I just get anxiety about what happens next. I planned out my January in November. And to some, this may seem unhealthy. But if it’s not written down I kind of lose my mind. I don’t schedule every second of every day, or make plans for every weekend. But a lot of things are scheduled in advance nowadays, so to plan early is the only way I can keep up!

If you’re a planner like me, you can head over to my Instagram and enter this giveaway for an amazing planner!! It has space for you to list your goals, bills, grocery lists, and day to day activities.

If you’re not a planner like me, omg I don’t know how you survive.

8 Weird Things I Enjoy Now That I’m An Adult

I have fully accepted the fact that I am an adult. I’m 23, feel like I’m still an insecure 16 year old, but somehow work a 9-5 job, pay bills, and have to figure out how taxes work like yesterday. Here are 8 weird things I enjoy now that I have accepted adulthood:

  1. Grocery shopping
    I like checking all of the nutrition facts and shopping local, like I’ve gotten weirdly passionate about it.
  2. Coupons
    I save $6 on a $30 purchase at CVS and it was the highlight of my day.
  3. Having a day to get my errands done
    I spent my Sunday cleaning, running errands, and doing laundry instead of being hungover and miserable…
  4. Working
    I often have flashbacks to when I worked part time at a movie theater in high school and how horrid it was.
  5. Not going out
    I really enjoy not drinking every weekend, like a lot. Like, how did I ever do that in college?
  6. Cooking dinner
    I get so excited when I actually make something healthy instead of scarfing down a Taco Bell burrito in my car (I still do this sometimes though).
  7. Paying off my credit card
    I should be sad to see all that money go, but I’m actually just happy I make money now.
  8. Being boring
    Call me lame, boring, a wet towel – WHATEVER! I just want to lay in my pj’s after work and eat ice cream. I don’t care!

    hc
    photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/keemscorner/

A Letter To My College Self

Hey you!

You did it! And I am so unbelievably proud of you. I know high school sucked and you’ve been looking forward to college for the past four years. I also know you currently feel held back, scared, and unsure.

It’s okay that you made your school choice based off of proximity. You may not have made that decision fully for yourself, but there were parts of you that thought it was for the better. Never stop listening to those parts of yourself. They’re always right – your thoughts and feelings about yourself will always be more right than anyone else’s.

It’s not going to be super easy to make friends here either, but just be yourself. College is way more real than high school ever was. If someone doesn’t like you, then you shouldn’t work to change yourself to fit that person. You get rid of them and you move on.

And you’ll make a lot of friends, this is a lot bigger than that small town you grew up in. You can have a bunch of different friend groups and they’re all very understanding. If they’re not understanding, they’re not the right kind of friends.

But the friends you make here are probably more important than that general education art lecture and the boy you met at a basement party. You’ll learn that quickly.

It may seem silly to take so many unrelated classes. But some of these professors will majorly impact your life. You’ll probably know the moment you meet them that they’re different, different like you. And they want to help you as long as you want to be helped. These professors will mold and shape your career. Like your friends, you’ll never stop being thankful for them.

Don’t be afraid to mess up because you are going to mess up. No one will judge you for it because chances are, they know someone or they have personally messed up way worse than you have. And those mess ups are a way to get to know yourself better. The mistake make outs, black out hang overs, missed classes, verbal arguments, failed assignments, and that overall sucky feeling will teach you lessons you would never learn if you didn’t take a risk.

Take them. College does go by fast, I’ll admit that there are certain years I wish I could repeat over and over for the rest of my life. But then those moments wouldn’t be so special.

If you do it right, four years is all you’ll need to be able to turn around with that stupid square cardboard on your head and wave goodbye to your home for the last four years with a diploma in your hand.

You’re ready. You screwed up, hit rock bottom, flew sky high, and succeeded in college. Imagine what you can do in the real world.

Love,

Me

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/oceansoflilim/

Does Moving Home Mean Moving Backwards?

High school was rough for me.  I rebelled against almost everything my parents wanted.  I didn’t get the grades they liked, didn’t join any clubs or sports, had the wrong friends, and did not one thing right.  I resented being controlled and watched over all the time – it ate away at me and made me a very bitter human.

The freedom of college was unbelievably sweet to me.  I learned things about myself that I feel were suppressed when I was stuck living under the law of my parents. I grew into an adult that could take care of herself. I got good grades, all on my own.  I joined so many clubs and took so many initiatives to make amazing friends.  I became better acquainted with my family.  I overall knew who I was and liked that person.

Then I graduated and then I moved back home. At first, I didn’t think anything would be that different from being at school.  I had become sort of a grandma towards the end of my senior year so I wasn’t going to miss drinking four days a week minimum.  I also wasn’t going to miss spending so much money on food and unnecessary things.

When I first got home, my normal life continued.  I spent the weekends with my friends and spent my days unpacking and running errands.  But that all slowed down and since I don’t have any friends from high school – I got bored.

And when I got bored I got nagged about getting all of my unpacking done, or about why I didn’t clean up the kitchen, or about when I was going to get a job. All things I would’ve done at my own stress-free pace at school, but impossible at home.  Then I got sick and the difference between being sick at home and at school blew my mind. I’ve gone to the doctor’s at least 4 times, whereas at school I was lucky if I made it to the Minute Clinic at all. My mom cooked all my meals, washed all my clothes, and doted on me as I wallowed on the couch for days at a time.  At school – if I was awake long enough I would text my friends to get me a gatorade and still make it to the bar that night even when running a fever.

My dog is the only one who hangs out with me.  My parents annoy me with every word they say to me.  I’m alone a lot, but can’t seem to get enough alone time. I resent being controlled and watched over all the time – it’s eating away at me and making me a very bitter human, once again.  Will all the progress I’ve gained in college slowly disappear with each month I’m living at my parent’s house?

Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/skohlmann/