When Stress Becomes Too Much

Do you ever just become one big ball of stress? Like every daily activity just comes with new stresses to add to the old stresses?

I always find these things tend to pop up when I’ve let my guard down and things have been going well for a while. Then all of a sudden things come up at work and your pet gets sick and those big things make you shut down, causing you to stress even more about the little things.

Because now I care that I’ve been eating like crap. And now I can’t sleep well anymore. And I just can’t do anything because the big stresses caused little stress and I am just walking stress at this point.

It almost feels like there is not much you can do. It would be easier to just lay down and nap than face the day. But big problems can be solved, you’ve done it before. And little problems are just that – little.

One step at a time, one problem at a time, and one solution at a time the stress will go away. It won’t happen all at once or overnight, but sooner rather than later things will return to normal. You can’t let stress get the best of you, the more it takes over your life the harder it will be to get rid of.

Enjoy the ride, right?

adult blur books close up
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Do You Have Imposter Syndrome?

Thanks to a Buzzfeed quiz, I learned about imposter syndrome this week. Wikipedia describes the syndrome as a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a  fear of being exposed as a fraud. Even though there is evidence of their accomplishments and competence, those with the syndrome chalk up their success to luck or something similar.

And when I read that I was like “holy shiz I definitely have that.” For pretty much my whole entire life, I’ve never really thought that I’ve deserved anything. I’ve done a lot of great things in my life and accomplished a lot, and all of those things have surprised me.

When I got into all of the colleges I applied to (granted, I didn’t really reach) I was genuinely shocked because up until that point I didn’t know I could do anything right. And in my first year of college I got a job as a tour guide and I was like what kind of magic did I bewitch on them for them to think I would actually be a good fit for this?

And then I got into my sorority and I was so confused that people actually liked me. And then I got a good internship and I graduated from college. I got a good job and then an even better job.

I thought it was either luck or (if I’m being honest) I’ve chalked A LOT of it up to being a decently attractive female. Yupp, I don’t really think I’ve deserved any of this but I’ve gotten by because I’m not that terrible to look at

And it’s such a toxic way to think. I’ve always been intelligent, even if I suck at school. I’m not great at coming out of my shell, but I am great at talking about the things I’m passionate about. I got really good grades in college and I learned a lot about myself and taught myself a lot about the field I work in. How could I think I don’t deserve any of this, that I’m a fraud?

I don’t think it’s rare, I don’t think anyone of us get the credit we deserve and we especially don’t give it to ourselves. But if we don’t, really, who will?

thinking environment depressed depression
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What I’ve Learned After 2 Years Of Being In A Relationship

Our two year anniversary of dating is next week! For a reflection of what I learned after one year, click here.

I learned a lot about myself when I was single, I’ve never been one to jump from serious relationship to serious relationship. I think self exploration can be done in a relationship, it’s just harder. The first year of our relationship involved a lot of learning curves for me, I had been single and independent for a long time and was badly burned after my last relationship. As we approach our two year anniversary, I was given more time for self exploration and growth. Here’s what I learned after two years of being in a relationship.

  1. It’s okay to be afraid of big steps. We moved in together, we got a dog, I freaked out. But that’s okay.
  2. Nothing has changed, communication is HUGE. If you are freaking out, you need to tell your partner. They should understand, they should be the one who is able to help you.
  3. Make time for your friends. There are just some things your boyfriend will never understand. It’s important to have at least one other person to confide in.
  4. Things will easily start to get boring in the relationship. The simple thing to do most nights is to plop on the couch and watch Netflix. Put in the effort, switch things up, don’t let it get mundane.
  5. It’s normal to have relationship doubts. Some people just have a harder time settling than other people. If you know yourself, you should know when your doubts are valid or not.
  6. Alone time is still very important.
  7. The longer you’re with someone, the more you think about the future. And the more the future becomes about “us” and not “me”.
  8. No one is as perfect as they look on social media. We bicker – a lot. It’s healthy.
  9. At the end of the day, love isn’t Romeo and Juliet and dying for someone. It’s choosing to be with the person who you like spending time with – every day with – who you don’t actually hate ever.
  10. Take everything at your own pace. It may seem like you NEED to follow the steps of getting engaged, moving in together, getting married, and having kids. But just because that’s the normal plan doesn’t mean it’s your plan.

Let me know how long you’ve been in a relationship for and your biggest piece of advice in the comments! 🙂

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The Grass Isn’t Always Greener

When I feel like something in my life is not quite right, I try to make big changes. It must be something that takes up a large amount of my day that’s making me feel unsettled, right? I must need a new job, I must need to move, I must need to evaluate my relationships.

But big changes are not something that should be taken lightly and don’t necessarily mean you’ll be happy with the results. The grass isn’t always greener when you start a new job at a new place from scratch. It’s not always greener in a different state. And it’s not always greener being single (definitely not greener being single because dating sucks).

It’s hard not to think about bigger and better things waiting for you, to settle into your life and just accept it. To make small, manageable changes that water your grass instead of hopping over a fence to find a new life.

I think especially when you are feeling like change needs to happen, it doesn’t need to happen fast. We can’t make rash decisions when our minds are unclear in the first place. Bloom where you are planted, stop trying to escape your garden and start trying to make it better.

beautiful blur fashion female
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Completed Spring Bucket List

The official last day of spring is less than a week away! The calendar timing of seasons feels much more appropriate to me because summer is just not the same as an adult and my busy season at work just ended so I can finally start enjoying my free time more. Check out what I got done in spring! What’s one fun thing you did this spring?

  1. Read 3 books
  2. Complete one crafting project.
  3. Have friends over to my new place
  4. Go on a weekend trip
  5. Plan a summer vacation
  6. Visit Longwood Gardens
  7. Reach 2,700 WordPress followers
    Only 55 away so basically completed 🙂
  8. Reach 6,600 Instagram followers
  9. Reach 900 Twitter followers
  10. Reach 600 Facebook page likes
  11. Go hiking in 2 places
    Just one, but good enough!
  12. Leave the state 3 times
  13. Hold a sloth
    Maybe in a few months 🙂
  14. Save $$$ for a dog!
  15. Start a garden
  16. Have a picnic
    Definitely adding this to the summer one!
  17. Take a walk outside once a week
  18. Maintain happiness and presence
  19. Create a photo album

My Updated Spring Bucket List

Wow April flew by and May is doing the same! I’m really trying to plug along as best as possible this spring. I’ve actually been really productive, but I’ve changed some of the list items up to make them a little more attainable since we’re almost halfway through spring.

  1. Read 3 books
    Two down, one to go.
  2. Complete one crafting project.
  3. Have friends over to my new place
  4. Go on a weekend trip
    Only went as far as NYC, but it counts!
  5. Plan a summer vacation
  6. Visit Longwood Gardens
  7. Reach 2,700 WordPress followers
  8. Reach 6,600 Instagram followers
  9. Reach 900 Twitter followers
  10. Reach 600 Facebook page likes
  11. Go hiking in 2 places
    One down, one to go!
  12. Leave the state 3 times
    One down, two to go!
  13. Hold a sloth
  14. Save $$$ for a dog!
  15. Start a garden
  16. Have a picnic
  17. Take a walk outside once a week
  18. Maintain happiness and presence
  19. Create a photo album

Now I just need it to stop raining every day so I can get ahead on the rest of this list!