How Old Do You Really Feel?

I’m 25 years old, but that barely registers with me. When I was young, 25 year olds were well accomplished. They were married, they had kids, they had houses!

I’ve recently been scrolling through Bumble BFF and you have to set age limits you’re willing to be friends with. When I come across someone who is 22 years old, I think about how they’re the same age as me. I’ve felt 22 for a long time. I know it’s just a 3 year difference, but 22 was when I really started defining myself as an adult. It’s also a time where I’ve never felt more naive and young.

And in reality, those 22 year olds who I could be friends with are most likely at a completely different time in their life as me. They’re fresh out of college and haven’t hit that grandma phase yet like I have. In the same sense, people just a few years older than me are at a completely different phase. They’re married and have kids. 25 is an interesting age because you’re just smack dab in the middle of a time where everyone is in different phases of their life.

It’s hard for me to grasp that I’m halfway to 30 when I don’t feel any different than I did 4 years ago when I graduated college. When I still felt so unsure, I still wanted to dress like I was in college and going to parties, when I had almost nothing figured out. Because I look at my life now and still feel those things. But then I see I have my own apartment, my own dog, a boyfriend who I’ve been with for almost 3 years.

How is this my life and when did I get this old? I know it seems dramatic to some who are older than me, but I’m truly coming to terms with the fact that I’m not a kid anymore. I don’t always go to my mom’s house for Christmas, I have to pay my own bills, I have to figure out what to do on my own when my car breaks down.

I still feel naive and young, but I have to keep reminding myself that I’m not. That I’m more experienced and accomplished than I give myself credit for.

girl in white long sleeve shirt and black skirt sitting on swing during day time
Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

 

Age Doesn’t Matter, Maturity Does

Even when I was immature I think I was more mature than most people my age. When I was younger I dated someone older than me and I thought that I would continue that pattern because guys my age or younger just seemed sooo immature.

Your age and your maturity level don’t always correlate. People say girls mature faster than boys, which may be true, but really everyone is different based on their life experiences.

Age differences don’t really matter. You can connect to someone 50 years older than you or 20 years younger than you. Dating someone younger or older than you really just depends on the maturity level. Some people are a couple years ahead on their maturity level and some people are a couple years behind. Both are completely fine.

If you’re 23 and feel that you’re as mature as a 33 year old – that’s completely fine. And you could easily have a happy relationship with someone ten years older than you. But they would also have to be as mature as a 33 year old. Because if he’s 33 and is as mature as a 23 year old, it’s the maturity gap that’s not okay – not the age gap.

It might seem fun and adventurous to date someone who is more immature than you, but eventually your timeline won’t match up. This could happen with an age difference too. But if you’re in college and she’s working full time and you’re both on the same maturity level, it’ll probably work out because you both want the same things in life, even if you’re different ages.

Evaluate your maturity level before hopping into a relationship with an age difference. If you want to be a cougar chaser or cradle robber, be free and do you. But make sure you’re mature or immature enough to handle it.

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photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/ann_sarkisyan/