The Nervous Traveler

I’m pretty much always convinced something is going to go wrong when I travel. I get to the airport early, print out all my receipts, and check my luggage about 50 times to make sure I have everything.

Yet, I always get nervous. Even though nothing has ever drastically gone wrong, I always think that it will all go downhill for me.

I think this mostly stems from how much money I put into travel with very little insurance. What if I miss my flight? That costs money. What if the Uber’s are upcharging when we need a ride? That costs money. What if I forget something really important? That costs money.

Like clockwork, every time I have a trip the hours leading up to it include a nervous stomach and a migraine. My only tips for someone traveling with a nervous travel is to constantly assure them.

My boyfriend and I travel together a lot and I do 90% of the planning, when he assures me nothing will go wrong I have a hard time believing him because I planned it so I know the possibilities. But that’s his job, I plan and he makes sure I don’t go nuts.

But in the end, the travel is always worth it.

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What Is It Like To Live In The Present?

I know a lot of people who live in the past. They are always talking about high school memories, posting #tbts, and generally just getting by on the life they already lived.

I tend to live in the future. I always want to know my next step, where I can go next, and planning for the years to come. I have a laundry list of things I want to do and I have to wait for time to pass to do them.

It makes living in the present really hard. I’m almost always worried about what’s to come. I enjoy moments, but day to day is nearly impossible. Every day is just a day closer to something I actually want to be doing. It makes life very tedious and repetitive.

What’s it like to live in the present? I know it’s not easy for most people, they either live in the past or in the future (like me) – or they do a mix of both! Which I am certainly guilty of sometimes. What is it like to enjoy the day you’re in without worrying about what you’ve done in the past and what you have yet to do in the future?

Some things that have helped to ground me are making lists of what I am grateful for that day. Another is making the most out of every day – but that really isn’t easy to do when you’re overtired from work and just want to lay in bed.

Do you have any tips on living in the present?

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/gustavominas/

It’s Okay To Be Sad

I think there is a lot of pressure to be happy. When you work somewhere, when you’re out with your friends, when you’re in a relationship…everyone assumes that because of where you are, you should be happy.

But that’s really not always the case and it’s not always because of the people around you. You might be sad. And it’s not because you don’t have a great job, boyfriend/girlfriend, friends or family. It’s just because at this moment in time you don’t feel all that happy, and that’s okay.

It’s hard to admit you’re just sad especially when you can’t pinpoint the reasoning behind it. Then people don’t understand, they blame themselves and they blame you. But sometimes life gets stagnant, sometimes you didn’t sleep that well for a week, sometimes you feel a little lost and all of that builds up to a sadness that isn’t anyone’s fault.

And the more we deny what we’re feeling, the more we convince ourselves that we should be happy so we are happy, the more sad we actually get.

It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to tell people you feel sad. No one is 100% all of the time and I can almost guarantee the moment you admit your feelings will be the moment that a lot of things come into perspective A step out of feeling sad.

It’s a lot of pressure, life. Everyone’s always trying to one-up each other in their woes and tragedies. But no matter what your situation, whether it be life and death or a flat tire. It’s okay to be sad, stressed, and overwhelmed.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/jornidzerda/

That Was So Long Ago

Are you one of those people that sometimes stays up until 2 AM and thinks about that really embarrassing time that you jumped off the swings in preschool and everyone saw your teddy bear underwear?

I am and that’s a true story.

I think about the sad, bad, embarrassing moments a lot of the time and work myself into an anxiety about it. I’ll stay awake until the sun rises over something that happened years ago.

And I wonder why I’m even thinking about it or why it still matters, but I am and it does. Even though I can’t do anything about it now.

I can’t do anything about it now. That’s what I tell myself every night when I’m thinking too much or on my drive home from work when I had a bad day. It’s time to start over, it’s time to wipe the slate, its time to forget about it and try harder tomorrow.

Sometimes I get anxiety when ex boyfriends try to contact me. Because every single relationship ended badly and every single guy reminds me of that. But why does it matter? Why do I care? It was so long ago. I can’t do anything about it now.

And that’s my mantra to my anxiety. It was so long ago. I can’t do anything about it now. It doesn’t always work, but I’m learning not to sweat the little things or the little people.

It was so long ago that I dated that frat boy and made a fool out of myself. It was so long ago that I shut out my family in high school. It was so long ago that I slipped and fell in the middle of the student center during the lunch rush. It was so long ago, I can’t do anything about it now. I can only try to grow and be better.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/acousticskyy/

Finding Your Way Back To Happiness

Happiness is a funny thing because you don’t really know you have it until it’s gone. And you don’t really notice it missing right away. You slowly slip into this funk that you think will fade until you wake up one day and realize you’ve been indifferent about life for over a year.

Then when you find it again, it’s ¬†like waking up on the right side of the bed finally. Like you got the sleep out of your eyes and are ready to take on the world.

But if you’re not careful, you’ll start to slip again. It happens to everyone, we can’t all be happy 100% of the time. And it’s gradual again, you don’t even know the happiness is gone until you look in the mirror one day and hate everything about yourself. It’s like getting into bed and realizing you never want to get out and face the world.

So how do you find your way back?

You’ve been there before, you just need to retrace your steps. It’s the effort to do so that will really set you back. I was sad for years, it took so much work to feel good again…why can’t I just lay in bed?

And you can’t half-ass it at all. Great, you’ve got one thing going in the right direction. But that one thing can’t pull you all the way up. You have to try harder, you have to force yourself to the happiness you’re craving, but just can’t seem to find the energy to grasp.

Finding happiness isn’t easy just as slipping into sadness wasn’t easy. Sure, it may feel like it’s so much easier to fall down than get up. But think about the things that got you to sad, they are far less fun than the things that get you to happy.

Retrace your steps and put in the work, happiness is just around the corner.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/bennyseidelman/

How I Finally Got The Dating Thing Right

I felt like I was single forever after my last long term relationship. I had made the choice to stay single, mostly because I was so aware of how I was kissing frogs that definitely weren’t going to turn into princes any time soon.

Every time I tried to date, I just couldn’t get comfortable. Reaching out to people I had lost touch with to spark something felt awkward. Meeting people for the first time and getting to know their whole life story felt like a lot of work. The whole thing was so exhausting.

It was so much easier to get what I want and then get out. Just scratch the surface a tiny bit until it’s time to leave. Because every time I tried to go deeper, I felt anxious and out of sorts. I just thought being in a committed relationship¬†wasn’t for me.

What I didn’t realize at the time was where that anxiety was coming from. It wasn’t because dating was awkward or because it took a lot of work. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to get to know someone or love someone. It was because the people I was dating didn’t match me. My weird didn’t fit their weird.

Being your own kind of weird is when you are your complete self. You let that weird out when you’re with your best friends, goofing around with your siblings, when you really get to know someone. But not everyone’s weird matches yours and that becomes very apparent when you are dating.

I tried to force things that didn’t fit because everyone was telling me I was being too picky and I was telling myself that these things weren’t working out because I was the problem.

There is no magic answer to finding the person you’re supposed to be with. The only thing I can tell you is that when you find them, you won’t feel awkward. You won’t feel uncomfortable, anxious, or exhausted. Your weird will match their weird and then it all falls in to place.

It still takes work, but it’s fun work. And that’s how I got the dating thing right after many years of feeling wrong.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/ileohidalgo/

How I’m Working On Mindfulness

I started doing yoga so I’m probably 10x more annoying than I was before. I’ve been seriously talking about my chi, my throat chakra, and mindfulness like all week.

Basically all that talk has come from me being more aware. I was fully aware of how stressed I was, what health problems I was having, and how I was feeling. But I had no clue how to fix any of it. I just felt stuck in this constant state of anxiety.

Then my yoga instructor described a situation to us. She said that she is often tailgated in traffic because she’s a slow driver. She made it so that now when this happens, there is a moment between the action and her reaction where she takes the time to stay calm. I don’t think many of us take a moment between the action and the reaction, we just ignite as soon as something happens.

I am working on being mindful. Because we so often go throughout our day and never think about why we are doing the things we do. Why did I get up for work this morning? Why did I eat so much crap after dinner? Why did I skip the gym? Why am I so tired? Why do I feel happy?

When you put reasoning and time into the way your feeling, it can help you to understand yourself better and to put more meaning into the activities in your life that seem mundane. So, I am trying to work on my mindfulness.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/matthewphotography/