When Life Gets Busy

I love change in the sense that I don’t like to stay in the same place for too long and am always looking to move forward. I hate change in the sense where things I like and got comfortable with can’t stay that way.

Sometimes, life gets busy and we have less time for each other. Whether it’s friends, family, or significant others. And you want to support people through those busy times, but only if you feel supported in return. Otherwise it gets lonely, otherwise you feel like you’re heaving in effort but getting left in the dust.

Busy seasons are an adjustment. Sometimes they last forever, sometimes it’s just for a couple of weeks. And you have to take that change and roll with it and hope that you can either assimilate or that it will go back to normal soon.

When others get busy and when you get busy, it gets lonely. There’s a lot of pressure on both sides to either be supportive or get everything done that you need to. You might lose people along the way and that’s okay. Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever, not everyone can handle the stress that comes with busy schedules and making time.

When life gets busy it’s not just one aspect, it’s the whole thing. It’s your thoughts running a mile a minute, it’s your work demand, it’s your friends and family and significant other not having time for you. It’s a heavy lift that not all of us are cut out for.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/lattefarsan/

Live From The Middle Urinal

Hi guys!

I recently hung out with the guys from the Live From The Middle Urinal Podcast. We talked about travel and how to settle arguments when you’re in a relationship. I had a blast and if you feel like taking a break from reading blogs to listen to something, check out the episode I’m featured on!

Itunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/live-from-the-middle-urinal/id1123887651?mt=2&i=1000389621947

All of their episodes can be listened to here: https://www.middleurinal.com/episodes/

Let me know what you think in the comments!

xoxo

Rosie

How Do You Know You’re Doing What’s Right?

A lot of the time, I see couples that I never want to end up being like. I can tell they’ve been in it for a while and as time as passed they just grew comfortable enough to never give their relationship up.

And then some of the time, I see couples who got it right. They’re in love and happy 20 years later, they’re with their best friend.

But how do you know what you’re doing is what’s right? Is it just luck that you gave the right person a chance, that you didn’t veer from the course even though you wanted to? I don’t understand how people know if they should stick with something or see what else is out there.

Especially now, in a time where options are everywhere. And it’s not just relationships. It’s jobs, it’s where you live, it’s what dog you adopt, it’s anything that you have choosing power over. How do you know that this job will be the best one you ever have? What if you quit for something that seems like a better opportunity, but actually ends up being a dud?

There are pages and pages of job opportunities. There are states and countries we are free to move to at any time. There are dating apps and social media and a frenzy of people at your finger tips. Something may feel right right now, but how do you commit to something when you don’t know what it will feel like in 6 months, a year, 10 years?

So how do you know what you’re doing right now is what’s right? How do you choose to stick with it when there are endless possibilities in the world?

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/lukasbenc/

How Hopeless I Felt When I Was Single

I’m not sure why being single seems like it’s the end of the world. I guess no matter how hard I looked at it, no one looked as happy when they were single as they did when they were in a relationship.

There was a good chunk of time for me when being single was like torture. There was also a time where I held onto it real tight, avoiding every relationship possible.

But I never really stopped feeling hopeless. When I was happy being single, I still got lonely. My friends all were in relationships and when they were off doing their boyfriend/girlfriend thing, I was alone. It taught me to be by myself, but it made me think I would always be by myself. When I started to become comfortable alone and do well by myself, I felt even more hopeless that I would never find what my friends had. That I would never find what I was reading about in books or binge watching on Netflix.

And when I was sad being single, I was more than hopeless. I felt that I was hard to love. There had been a time where I had given the boy I loved everything. But then I felt like I had nothing left to give.

It’s normal to feel hopeless when you’re single, whether you’re happy or sad. But even when you give up on yourself, the person that’s right for you won’t be giving up at all. It takes time, patience, and a lot of learning. But you’re not hopeless.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/james_sickmind/

You NEED To Be Selfish

It was when I had gotten screwed over in a relationship for the I-don’t-know-how-many-th time that I finally decided to make a change. Whether it was a different guy hurting me or hurting myself by going back to the same guy over and over again, at the end of the day I was hurting.

And that’s when I stopped caring about being selfish.

How many times can someone tell you they’re not going to do something again, then do it again? How many times will you believe them?

You so often care about other people’s feelings, but forget about yourself. And how is that even possible? To forget about the feelings of the actual entity that you are. It seems impossible, but we often allow ourselves to get hurt to save others.

It’s time to save yourself.

Being sad, being broken, being mistreated really isn’t just another part of life. It isn’t something you have to accept. You don’t have to accept anything other than what makes you happy. But we accept the sad, broken, mistreatment because we aren’t thinking of ourselves the way we should be.

Go out and get your happiness. Stomp a few hearts on the way, cut off some friendships, delete the phone numbers and unfollow them on Twitter. If they’re not helping you get where you need to go, they are unnecessary. If you’re being held back, it’s time to start being selfish.

It’s rough, it’s not always the nicest thing to do to the people you love. But how do you expect to take care of them when you can’t take care of yourself? A little selfishness goes a long way.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/maximilianmann/

How I Finally Got The Dating Thing Right

I felt like I was single forever after my last long term relationship. I had made the choice to stay single, mostly because I was so aware of how I was kissing frogs that definitely weren’t going to turn into princes any time soon.

Every time I tried to date, I just couldn’t get comfortable. Reaching out to people I had lost touch with to spark something felt awkward. Meeting people for the first time and getting to know their whole life story felt like a lot of work. The whole thing was so exhausting.

It was so much easier to get what I want and then get out. Just scratch the surface a tiny bit until it’s time to leave. Because every time I tried to go deeper, I felt anxious and out of sorts. I just thought being in a committed relationship wasn’t for me.

What I didn’t realize at the time was where that anxiety was coming from. It wasn’t because dating was awkward or because it took a lot of work. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to get to know someone or love someone. It was because the people I was dating didn’t match me. My weird didn’t fit their weird.

Being your own kind of weird is when you are your complete self. You let that weird out when you’re with your best friends, goofing around with your siblings, when you really get to know someone. But not everyone’s weird matches yours and that becomes very apparent when you are dating.

I tried to force things that didn’t fit because everyone was telling me I was being too picky and I was telling myself that these things weren’t working out because I was the problem.

There is no magic answer to finding the person you’re supposed to be with. The only thing I can tell you is that when you find them, you won’t feel awkward. You won’t feel uncomfortable, anxious, or exhausted. Your weird will match their weird and then it all falls in to place.

It still takes work, but it’s fun work. And that’s how I got the dating thing right after many years of feeling wrong.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/ileohidalgo/

How We Met (Part 4)

A response to my very old series of endings called  I’m Glad It Didn’t Work Out, view it here. This will be the last part of a series focused on the beginnings of various relationships, view part 1part 2, and part 3.

When we met, I was at a point in my life where I just wasn’t happy. I smiled, I chuckled, I just went through the motions when I was supposed to and that was my version of happy for the time being.

But when I sat next to you at the bar, you made me laugh. A laugh I hadn’t heard or felt in a long time. A laugh that continued all night. You were a friend of a friend so there was only a slight introduction when we jumped into the witty banter. People I didn’t want to see and people I did want to see came and went, but most of my attention was just on how funny you were.

I don’t think I have ever been so struck by someone’s personality before and the fact that you were just so likeable at the time. The bartender made us the most disgusting grape Gatorade shots I had ever had. I only had two or three drinks that night, but I laughed until I cried sitting next to you at that dingy bar. The bar I almost never went to, but happened to be at when I met you.

First impressions are funny because they lack a lot of emotion. You’ll never truly know who a person is when you are barely scratching the surface. But at that time, a night of laughing was all I really needed.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/gazeronly/