Post Travel Blues

On the last day of my trip, there is always a little bit of excitement. I’m excited to sleep in my own bed again, have access to all of my things, see my friends and family. But as I sit in traffic on the last leg of the trip home, I overwhelmingly feel dread.

Traveling is such an amazing experience. To me, it is all about experiencing new cultures and places. To me, it’s about finding new places that I could potentially call home one day. Some trips leave me with less dread than others, some locations could just simply never be home. But the ones I get emotionally attached to are so hard to leave.

Because I’m leaving them to come home to a place I’m not exactly thrilled about. And I’m immediately thrown back into the real world of bills, work, and mediocrity. Traveling doesn’t always feel like a vacation where I can put my butt in the sand and not move for 5 days and come home feeling relaxed. But it is always a vacation from real life.

The post travel blues hit me hard for a couple of days, it’s like jet lag, and then eventually I adjust. Then I begin counting down the days until I can put that out of office up again and feel free for a while. That’s what paid time off is for, right?

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/barbourians/

How I Accidentally Stopped Having Fun

When I was in high school, if you asked me what I did for fun I could name a few things. I liked reading, writing, going to concerts, and hanging out with some of my friends. If you asked me what I did for fun in college I would say I like getting drunk with my best friends, I like writing, I like meeting new people.

If you asked me now, I think I would struggle a little bit. Because I still love going to concerts and seeing my friends. But I’m not too keen on alcohol anymore. I like going new places and I like writing, but both almost feel like a job to me now. My passion projects have turned into work.

I accidentally forgot to have fun because things have become so different after I’ve spent a few years out of college – I don’t know what to define as fun anymore.

I’ve picked up a few things that I like doing. I like knitting/crocheting and cross-stitching (even though I’m not great at it). I am trying to pick up reading again. And I’m trying to find joy in writing and traveling again.

There’s a lot of pressure when you work 5 days a week to make the most of the time you’re not actually working. I didn’t think it was possible, but there is a pressure to have fun that makes having fun not fun.

So I’ve taken a step back, again, to draw a very very very thick line between work and play. I need to go with the flow and just learn to have fun again.

Capture
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/mottram/

I Don’t Understand Satisfied People

I always want change. I want to go places, do things and keep the ball rolling. I want to know a majority of what life has to offer. I don’t want to settle down, the thought of getting married and buying a house and dedicating myself to one thing for a long time is simply terrifying,

And I don’t understand people who are just satisfied. People who have a couple of kids, buy a house, and intend to stay there for 20 years. People who work at the same job their whole life. People who don’t use up their PTO or use it to go to the same place they’ve been 100 times before.

In a way, I wish I could be satisfied. I’m sure it’s easier when it comes to decision making and just in general finding happiness. But I just don’t understand people who settle down and don’t see any problem with it. Do they not get jealous of the people who are all over the world, the people who aren’t tied down?

I could just get back from an awesome trip and scroll through my Instagram feed and get antsy all over again. I just want more and while I’m happy for anyone who is happy, I just don’t get satisfied people.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/dotbenjamin/

My Millennial Work Ethic

The stereotypical millennial is lazy, entitled, ruining relationships, and most of the things that were built for us. This stereotype mostly comes from the fact that we do things differently than our parents.

I went to college, got an internship when I graduated, got a job then got a better job. Not exactly what I call lazy. I started paying off my stereotypical millennial student loans and immersed myself into the 9-5 culture.

And it’s not easy for me. It’s not easy to work 5 out of the 7 days a week, to work for most of your life, to make your job your (basically) number one priority. It’s not easy for me to wake up early in the morning then work nonstop until it’s time to go. You don’t go at your own pace, there is a schedule and rules and you are supposed to follow them.

So in some ways, I’m the stereotypical millennial who wants to make their own schedule and work from my bed. Is it realistic? No, but a girl can dream!

Just because we dream, doesn’t mean we’re lazy. And it doesn’t mean all of us have the same dream. I know many people who thrive in a pressured 9-5 environment, but I’m just a stereotypical millennial when it comes to this!

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/149902454@N08/

When Life Gets Busy

I love change in the sense that I don’t like to stay in the same place for too long and am always looking to move forward. I hate change in the sense where things I like and got comfortable with can’t stay that way.

Sometimes, life gets busy and we have less time for each other. Whether it’s friends, family, or significant others. And you want to support people through those busy times, but only if you feel supported in return. Otherwise it gets lonely, otherwise you feel like you’re heaving in effort but getting left in the dust.

Busy seasons are an adjustment. Sometimes they last forever, sometimes it’s just for a couple of weeks. And you have to take that change and roll with it and hope that you can either assimilate or that it will go back to normal soon.

When others get busy and when you get busy, it gets lonely. There’s a lot of pressure on both sides to either be supportive or get everything done that you need to. You might lose people along the way and that’s okay. Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever, not everyone can handle the stress that comes with busy schedules and making time.

When life gets busy it’s not just one aspect, it’s the whole thing. It’s your thoughts running a mile a minute, it’s your work demand, it’s your friends and family and significant other not having time for you. It’s a heavy lift that not all of us are cut out for.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/lattefarsan/

How Routine Is Unhelpful For Me

Sometimes I find myself lying in bed at night and really unhappy with the way things are going for me. But I just can’t pinpoint what is making me feel that way. I think routine has a lot to do with it.

While others thrive on the 9-5 work schedule, three days a week gym regimen, and staying at home to tidy up on the weekends – I. Can’t. Stand. It.

Every day I wake up, go to work, come home, make dinner, take a nap, go to the gym, go to bed. Nothing ever changes and when it does, it doesn’t make a big enough impact on my life for me to feel like I’m changing it up.

And the more routine my life gets, the more boring other aspects of it become. I start wearing less make up, start caring less about how I look. I don’t get as excited for vacations because I know the routine is just a three day weekend away.

I like planning ahead, I like knowing what my week is going to look like. What I can’t stand is the consistency of boredom, the feeling that things might not ever change. And then I’m reminded to switch things up. I start wearing lipstick to work and do something fun on a week day night.

But eventually, since my life inevitable revolves around routine, I fall back into my boring and unhappy ways. Routine may be helpful to some, but it sucks for me.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/zemlinki/

Why I Wear Lipstick On Tuesdays

Most people hate Mondays. And I understand why. You come back into work from a fun weekend with tons of emails and a lagging brain.

But I don’t hate Mondays. I like coming in refreshed from the weekend and catching up on everything. It’s Tuesdays, the day where all of my work piles up on me, that really causes me a lot of stress.

It got to the point where the dread was so heavy that I needed to figure out something to do. Our office tries to not wear black on Tuesday, because let’s face it we all wear black probably way too often. But apparently it’s also bad for your chakra – I don’t know if this is true, but I can’t really afford any more bad juju.

I also took it upon myself to wear lipstick on Tuesdays. It is just the one thing that makes me feel pretty and the one thing that brightens my day. I start my Tuesdays with a bright pink smile and that makes it just the tiniest bit better.

It’s the little things that make a big difference. We can’t always make the changes we want, I can’t just not come into work on Tuesdays. But I can make the whole experience a little brighter and better.

And that’s how I try to approach everything in life. I might not be able to change the bad things completely, but I can make them a little more bearable if I try.