Do People Change?

I often see the worst in people. So when someone tells me they will change, I barely believe them. This is partly because I don’t want to be disappointed and partly because most of the time, they don’t change.

I think there are the parts of us that make us who we are and those are the parts no one should ever ask you to change. Whether it be your friends, a significant other, or family. They can’t ask you to change, but they shouldn’t be forced to deal with something they don’t like. So you can try to change for your significant other or you can let the relationship go.

If you’re asking someone to change and they’re unwilling or can’t see why they need to change, then it will never happen. You’re putting all your eggs in a basket that’s ready to fall apart.

If they can see the change that needs to be made, they may have a greater chance at actually making that change. But most of the time, relationship problems come from the core of someone. It comes from a part of their personality that has been there for years, something that is deep rooted. Can people really change those parts of themselves?

It all depends on your want or need to change and the recognition of the problem. I’m sure people can change, I just rarely see it.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/kerenzayuen/

The Hookup On: Blog Name Change

Welcome to Rosie Culture!

The new and improved and differently named Hookup Culture. I had a sudden and overwhelming feeling of needing something more appropriate for my blog name and something that was branded as me.

I grabbed the domain and switched the name everywhere and there it is! I am extremely happy with the change and excited to see where this blog goes moving forward, I hope you all like the name change as well ­čÖé

My social media sites:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/rosieculture

Twitter: @rosieculture

Instagram: @rosieculture

WordPress: www.rosieculture.com

As always, thanks in advance for your support!

I’m Obsessed With Change

A lot of people are scared of changing. They are scared of the unknown and they are scared of their loved ones changing. Because when people change, you don’t always change with them.

But I actually love change. For four years of my life I was the same person, dating the same guy. I went into college and refused to change and it didn’t benefit me at all. It wasn’t until that relationship ended that I realized change just means growth and we all need to grow.

So I make big changes. I took a new job, moved out, planned trips.

But you can’t always make big changes. So I made small changes, too. I cut my hair, I picked up a new work out routine, and learned new hobbies.

And while a lot of people would be afraid to do all of these things, these are the things that keep me going. I get so bored by staying in the same place and doing the same things.

Sometimes I think my need for change makes me restless and can impact my relationships. Because if I get bored of my hair every month, what makes me want to stay with the same person every month? And if I get bored of the state I live in, how can I keep a job for more than a year? And if I feel my personality changing every couple of months, how can I hold on to my friends?

I don’t want to suppress the change, but I also don’t want to lose everything I love because I’m bored of things. So I work at the things I love and change them ever so slightly to keep them interesting. Eventually, I’ll be able to make the big changes. But for now, I love what I have and I keep them as fun as possible.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/auspices/

Who You Were Before You Were Broken

We all change, it’s inevitable. We grow up, we experience new things, go through phases, meet new people. We take every little experience and slowly it changes us into a different person over time.

Sometimes we anticipate change, sometimes we’re thrown into it head first.

Something that will definitely change a person is heart break. Getting your heart broken causes you to feel a lot of emotions during a time where you’re just trying to get better. You were in a beautiful relationship, you were happy. It ended, you’re distraught. You’re trying to get over it, you’re okay. He’s dating someone else, you’re devastated.

It will wreak havoc on who you were.

The person you change into is in no way a bad version of yourself – just very different. It may not seem that way to you, because you went through it all and understand the outcome. But one day you’ll wake up and realize you’re nothing like you used to be.

Along with the inevitable change is the inevitable way we will sometimes revert. When we change due to small happenings in our life, it’s often because we are becoming someone who can protect themselves from hurt. But there comes a time when that wall can tumble down a little, where you can become who you were before you were broken.

It’s someone you faintly recognize – there’s an innocence again, vulnerability, and openness. It’s someone you remember, but had at one time completely forgotten she existed. You are becoming whole again – you are feeling yourself and remembering yourself as a whole person again.

Any way you change, make sure it is for the better. Don’t be afraid to keep growing, don’t be afraid to revert if that’s the right thing for you. A broken heart may disguise you for a little bit – but you will be whole again one day. You will be who you were before you were broken, but better.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/hmoong/

 

The Hookup On: Changing The World

The other day someone asked me what I wanted to do. I explained my job, I explained my passion projects, and then I said I wanted to change the world.

He told me he hates when people say that, one person can’t change the world.

But it’s all about the perspective. Of course I don’t have a magic wand in which I can solve world hunger, cure all disease, create world peace, and dissolve all corruption.

I’m one person and all I can really do is start changing the world one person at a time – starting with myself.

I actively choose to be a positive person who contributes to society. I work for a non profit and I write this blog – both are very different things, but I think both play a part in changing the world.

Because if one marketing project I create helps to save someone’s life – then I’ve changed the world. And if I write one blog post that inspires someone – then I’ve changed the world. If I run into one person on the street, in the bar, at the mall and I make them think a little or smile a little or relax a little – then I’ve changed the world.

Everyone should aspire to change the world. Even if it’s just starting with yourself. Even if you just work on being the best version of yourself for the rest of your life – you have helped to change the world.

And you can go bigger than that. You can do huge things if you believe that you can. Because one person plus one person plus a million people can make a lot of change even if they’re all just doing small things on their own. They can change the world. You can change the world.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/viictoria4/

Single You Vs. You In A Relationship

People often speak of change so negatively.

I can specifically remember multiple conversations throughout middle school, high school, college, and even now where one of my friends looked at me with narrow eyes and said “you’ve changed” with such disgust.

That’s what we do, that’s what growing up is. You change due to your circumstances. If I never changed I’d still be as quiet as a mouse and passive like I was when I was 8. Or I’d still be awkward and uncomfortable, ultimately making me unhappy, like I was when I was 15. Or I’d still be brainwashed and committed like I was when I was 19. Or out of control and depressed like I was when I was 21.

But I’m none of those things now and neither are you – because we change. And one main thing that can change us is relationships.

“Don’t let anyone change you” is the biggest garbage I’ve ever heard. There is always room for improvement, there is always room to grow – don’t let anyone tear you down, but ALWAYS let someone build you up to being the best version of yourself.

So the single version of you may consist of the following: spending a lot of time with friends, ditching out on family, constantly worrying about what’s around the corner. Or being introverted, spending too much time in bed, ignoring responsibilities. Or being extremely motivated, having everything under control, and enjoying happiness.

And the in-a-relationship version of yourself may be the complete opposite of those things. Which can be negative or positive. (If it’s a negative change, you need to evaluate yourself before letting another person into your life.)

There can be more than one version of yourself depending on who you decide to spend your time with. And that’s okay. It’s okay if you’re one way when you’re single and slightly different when you’re in a relationship. Anyone who tells you that’s wrong isn’t supportive of you and is┬ánot┬ánecessary.

Keep your changes positive and surround yourself with positive people to keep every version of yourself happy.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/slimjim/

Who You Were Before You Lost Your Innocence

Losing your innocence is just a side effect of growing up. There’s no one certain thing that causes it. It doesn’t automatically go away when you turn 13 or when you lose your virginity or when you get dumped for the first time. It all varies from person to person, from age to age, from experience to experience. And it fades out slowly.

When I was around 11 years old I asked my mom why everyone had cancer all of a sudden. She told me cancer has always been around, I was just realizing it now.

That’s a very specific moment when I can remember something changing inside of my brain.

Looking back now, can you really pinpoint the moment you stopped being naive and started getting real? Probably not. You have to reach the point in your life when you look back and realize you’ve changed. Because change isn’t something you see until you’re so different you don’t recognize yourself anymore. Your old memories barely belong to you.

I’m not the girl that was kissed on the forehead on my front porch. Nor am I the girl who loved someone very intensely for more than three years. I’m not the girl who became heartless and cold towards the people who tried to love her in order to regain strength. I lost bits and pieces of innocence with each of those experiences and the experiences in between.

It’s not bad to change, it’s not bad to grow and recognize what real life is now. But hold on to the little pieces of innocence you have tucked away in your subconscious. They’re what keep you sane, what keep you looking at some things with rose colored glasses, they’re what keep you warm when things are unbearably cold.

You might have lost most of your innocence, but you’re┬ástill yourself. Just different.

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photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/meeechmars/