Dealing With Embarrassment

I’m embarrassed all the time. And when I get embarrassed, it never leaves my mind. Most recently I’ve had days where everything is going right and I’m so thrilled and then one little thing will happen that throws the whole day off. Like when someone scolded me for dragging some chairs on “historical” floors or when I tried to open the door for a blind person and ended up making things way more complicated. I think about those things all day, I think about them years later.

But I recently read this: think of all the times you’ve been embarrassed, now think of a time when someone else was embarrassed.

It’s hard to remember. I’m thinking back to college, trying to remember the weird or ratchet things some of my friends did. And while a few things come to mind, I don’t know how embarrassed by it they were.

And no one else remembers those things that embarrassed you. The guy who scolded me won’t remember me after a few days go by, the blind person who deals with difficulties every day won’t remember me. We are so wrapped up in ourselves and the things we do, sometimes we just need to let it go.

It is never as bad as you thought it was and no one else will even remember it. Embarrassment is a part of life, but you can’t let it eat you alive.

adult alone anxious black and white
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How Old Do You Really Feel?

I’m 25 years old, but that barely registers with me. When I was young, 25 year olds were well accomplished. They were married, they had kids, they had houses!

I’ve recently been scrolling through Bumble BFF and you have to set age limits you’re willing to be friends with. When I come across someone who is 22 years old, I think about how they’re the same age as me. I’ve felt 22 for a long time. I know it’s just a 3 year difference, but 22 was when I really started defining myself as an adult. It’s also a time where I’ve never felt more naive and young.

And in reality, those 22 year olds who I could be friends with are most likely at a completely different time in their life as me. They’re fresh out of college and haven’t hit that grandma phase yet like I have. In the same sense, people just a few years older than me are at a completely different phase. They’re married and have kids. 25 is an interesting age because you’re just smack dab in the middle of a time where everyone is in different phases of their life.

It’s hard for me to grasp that I’m halfway to 30 when I don’t feel any different than I did 4 years ago when I graduated college. When I still felt so unsure, I still wanted to dress like I was in college and going to parties, when I had almost nothing figured out. Because I look at my life now and still feel those things. But then I see I have my own apartment, my own dog, a boyfriend who I’ve been with for almost 3 years.

How is this my life and when did I get this old? I know it seems dramatic to some who are older than me, but I’m truly coming to terms with the fact that I’m not a kid anymore. I don’t always go to my mom’s house for Christmas, I have to pay my own bills, I have to figure out what to do on my own when my car breaks down.

I still feel naive and young, but I have to keep reminding myself that I’m not. That I’m more experienced and accomplished than I give myself credit for.

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The Best Of My About Me Blog Posts

Looking to learn a little more about me? Check out the best of my blog posts that go into detail about myself! If you like what you read, leave a little love on the my posts from the past! 🙂

  1. I Don’t Blog About You
  2. Unintentional Asshole
  3. Proud To Be A Sorority Girl
  4. An Open Letter To My High School Self
  5. 11 Things Vegetarians Are Tired Of Hearing
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3k Yay! Ask Me Questions

I’m about to hit 3,000 followers on WordPress! Hello to all of you, old and new – I’m so happy you’re here! To celebrate, I’d like to do a Q&A for all of you to get to know me. I did one when I reached 2,000 followers a little over a year ago, you can read it here.

Whether it’s about how to grow your blog or instagram, relationship advice, questions for my boyfriend, or questions about me – I’m open to answer any questions to the best of my ability. Drop them here and thank you all so much for your support.

xoxo

Rosie

Leaving Your Home

I’ve lived in New Jersey basically my whole life. I was born in another state, lived in another, but that was all before memories really started to form. I grew up in New Jersey, went to college in New Jersey, and built my life here.

And while I love everything about this extremely underrated state, I never wanted to stay here forever. First I wanted to go to college in Canada, then maybe Ireland, then I wanted to move south as quick as I could. But I never did. I stayed. Until now.

Now I’m leaving my home and I don’t think it’s quite hit me yet that everything I know will be a 6 hour drive away when I move to New Hampshire. All of my friends, most of my family, my coworkers, and familiarity will be so far gone. It’s nerve-wracking.

But I’m ready to leave it behind. My adult life has become so busy anyway that I think some distance between me and all of those things will actually make the bond stronger. If the bond becomes weaker, maybe it wasn’t meant to be in the first place.

I think it’s so important to start over somewhere new, to live in new places, to meet new people. Those experiences help shape you into a well-rounded person – it’s part of the reason I travel as much as I can. It makes me a better person. And even though I’m terrible at new things and meeting new people, I at least have to try.

It’s so sad to leave your home, but there is a whole world out there to explore and we owe it to ourselves to experience it.

woman sitting on chair beside brown table
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Moving On Professionally

It can be really really hard to decide when your time is up at a job.

I have only worked at two different companies after graduating college, so my experience is limited. But at my first job, I was there 6 months and knew there was no real growth potential there because I was their only marketer on staff and I was making peanuts. There were some other red flags and even fresh out of college I knew it was time to move on.

It’s easy to start applying to jobs, go on a few casual interviews. It’s hard to say goodbye to the people you work with every day, who you eat lunch with every day, people you’ve grown so close with. And it’s hard to turn your back on a place that gave you a job, a great opportunity, and the skills to move forward.

Now I can easily tell when I need to move on when I feel like I’m not being challenged or I am just generally unhappy from day to day. So I give myself two options: 1. Ask for a change or 2. Find a new job. Once you make the decision to move on, you’re faced with the time consuming work of applications and interviews. It can seem daunting, it can even convince you to stay where you are just a little bit longer because of all the time it takes.

But we all do it, we all move on. And your employer really should be happy for you, their goal should have always been to help you grow and if there is no place for you to go with that growth then it should be clear to them you will move on. If your employer isn’t like that, then it should also be clear to them that you won’t be sticking around.

It’s hard to move on professionally, but the risk is so necessary. For your happiness, your health, and your development.

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