Accepting The Past

I feel like I have been through so many versions of myself. I was once shy, cold, and moody in high school. I was a push-over and boyfriend obsessed my first half of college. I was reckless and couldn’t be caught when I graduated college. And now I am settled, finding new parts of myself, and trying to fit in the old parts.

But the old parts make me cringe. Parts of my life that I used to be so fond of now seem so embarrassing. I have a hard time accepting my past, so I try to just repress the memories. Some of them were good, some were bad, but my over-thinking self really only remembers the times when I felt the worst.

Accepting the past is hard because dwelling on mistakes is easy. Even though I’ve moved on in life and those experiences got me to where I was, I still kind of wish they never happened.

I drank too much sometimes, kissed the wrong guys in the wrong places at the wrong time. I turned down opportunities to make other people happy. I held on to friends who were never good to me. And it all still hurts like fresh wounds when I let the thoughts creep back.

How do I accept the past when the bad times simply blind me? I want to enjoy the life I’ve lived, not regret it.

Capture
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/ifeel_infinite/

The Hookup On: 2k Q&A!

Thank you all for asking me amazing questions and celebrating my 2,000 WordPress followers with me. Below are the answers to your questions! 🙂

1. Has your blog followed the path that you wanted it to take or has the content you published changed? What’s been the biggest influence of that change?

So my blog has definitely taken the path I wanted it to take, but the content has really changed. It started out as a relationship blog called Hookup Culture, but as I evolved and grew (this blog is three years old as of the end of October) I changed it to Rosie Culture and made it more personal. The biggest influence of that change was graduating college and then ultimately leaving behind the single life and entering the relationship I’m currently in.

2. What’s your favorite blog post that you’ve done?

I really love the series I did on being better off without my exes. You can start here and go backwards.

3. Least favorite?

Anything I wrote when I was first starting out lol. I really had to dig deep for this one, a very dry post about Tinder.

4. What sort of influence does your blog have on your real life (or vice versa)?

When I was in college, it was almost kind of a negative impact because boys would ask me if I was writing about them and it just created like this weird vibe when I was dating people. Now, it has been super helpful to me mostly because of the advice I’m offered and I have an avenue that I’m not judged on.

5. What do you like most about the U.K? 

While it’s on my list of places to go, I’ve never been to the UK! I have to say my favorite thing that I know about the country though is the awesome accents and slang! 🙂

6. How long have you been blogging, and what are some of your favorites to follow?

At the end of this month, it will be three years! Here are some blogs that I really love 🙂

  1. StyledbyMcKenz
  2. Dishing up Chic
  3. One Degree, No Direction
  4. Healthy & Psyched
  5. Single in the Suburbs

7. A question for my boyfriend: Do you read Rosie’s blog? Is it helpful to your relationship to read her insights or do you feel awkward knowing certain posts are about you that random bloggers are reading?

I do read Rosie’s blog! I check it almost every day, and I actually read it occasionally when it crossed my path in college, back in the Hookup Culture days.

I think it’s super helpful to read it. Sometimes it’s a little weird to know things are about me and strangers are reading them, but I’m comfortable enough with myself and with us that it doesn’t make me uncomfortable. I think that in relationships, the most important things are honesty and communication. And it’s not always easy to be honest about the tough things, or figure out a way to express how you’re feeling. The blog really helps me understand where Rosie’s head is at on things – how she’s feeling, what she’s feeling, what works, what doesn’t – and it even gives me insight into how things have made her feel previously. Our relationship is successful partly because of this blog and the WordPress community because both provide her with an outlet to clear her head and get her thoughts out there. Plus, she literally puts checklists of what she wants to do each season up, which is like handing me date ideas on a silver platter.

8. How do you balance blogging, work, social calendar and the other things life throws your way?

I think it’s a little easier for me because social media and writing come very naturally to me. Usually I write my blog posts during my lunch break or while I’m walking on the treadmill then schedule them. I also have a content calendar for my Instagram. I just kind of consider it a second job that always needs my attention!

9. What makes you more excited on your own blog?

Sometimes I ramble when I write, so I get pretty excited when people leave comments and actually understand what I’m saying lol.

10. What makes your readers get connected to your blog?

I don’t really know. I know my break up and dating posts help a lot of people because it’s not something widely talked about and I always try to be as honest as possible.

11. Have you ever regretted a post that you’ve written?

No, but I do feel bad about how hard I was on some people I wrote about.

12. Do you ever struggle with how much of your life you want to share on your blog? Are there any topics/issues that are off limits?

I do struggle sometimes with how much I feel like I can really put out there because of my professional life. I limit my cursing and anything inappropriate. One thing I almost never talk about anywhere is politics.

 Thanks everyone for reading! xoxo

Rosie


The Hookup On: 2,000 WordPress Followers and Q&A

I’m so excited to announce that after many months of being on my list of goals, I finally reached 2,000 followers here on WordPress!

I don’t think I thank this community enough for being such an amazing platform  that offers me different points of view, advice, and even agrees with me when I’m not sure if what I’m saying is agreeable. Thank you all so much.

To all my new and old followers, I’d love to do a little Q&A for you to get to know me better. You can always check out my about me or this old Q&A I did a while ago. But I want to give everyone the opportunity to ask any questions that might pop up when they’re reading my blog.

Please drop a question below and I will write a post in the next week with all of my answers ☺️

Rethink Your Anger

I wrote this last weekend before the tragedy in Las Vegas and I think it rings even truer now.

I was at the gym this weekend when I heard a guy scolding a woman for taking his yoga mat in the free weights area. She thought it was unoccupied because people often just leave the mats all over the floor and she apologized.

He began telling her to shut up and was just being extremely rude while she explained that it was unneccessary. She said that they are both humans so there is no need to get angry over a mistake.  He kept being rude, then she called him an asshole – and I don’t blame her lol.

The whole thing just made me wonder why you would waste your energy getting angry over something so little when there are so many huge problems in the world.

And there is so much hate in the world. To spread it even further over someone taking your mat at the gym is laughable. Why keep spreading the opposite of what the world needs?

Choose to ignore the little things. Accept apologies. Be kind.

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Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/mscafe/

How I Accidentally Stopped Having Fun

When I was in high school, if you asked me what I did for fun I could name a few things. I liked reading, writing, going to concerts, and hanging out with some of my friends. If you asked me what I did for fun in college I would say I like getting drunk with my best friends, I like writing, I like meeting new people.

If you asked me now, I think I would struggle a little bit. Because I still love going to concerts and seeing my friends. But I’m not too keen on alcohol anymore. I like going new places and I like writing, but both almost feel like a job to me now. My passion projects have turned into work.

I accidentally forgot to have fun because things have become so different after I’ve spent a few years out of college – I don’t know what to define as fun anymore.

I’ve picked up a few things that I like doing. I like knitting/crocheting and cross-stitching (even though I’m not great at it). I am trying to pick up reading again. And I’m trying to find joy in writing and traveling again.

There’s a lot of pressure when you work 5 days a week to make the most of the time you’re not actually working. I didn’t think it was possible, but there is a pressure to have fun that makes having fun not fun.

So I’ve taken a step back, again, to draw a very very very thick line between work and play. I need to go with the flow and just learn to have fun again.

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Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/mottram/

When Is It Okay To Be Selfish?

When I was single, I decided that I was tired of being screwed over by putting other people first and getting nothing back. I decided that I needed to find my happiness alone and it wasn’t fair when people tried to get in the way and hinder that happiness. I decided to be selfish.

And it worked out so well for me. I became a healthier and happier person and didn’t let anyone get in my way. It was a couple of the best years of my life.

But now that I’m in a relationship, it doesn’t seem okay to be selfish anymore. Because when you care about someone, you want to do what you can for them and sometimes that means sacrificing things for yourself. But is that okay?

Or can we still be a little selfish. In the end, should we always put ourselves first? I feel like we should because when it comes down to it all, all we really have that is 100% guaranteed is ourselves. But then we feel bad for being this way. And how can you even be selfish when all you feel is guilty?

When you’re in a relationship, is it still okay to be as selfish as you were when you were single or should you really sacrifice some of your happiness for someone else’s?

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/white_ribbons/

My Millennial Work Ethic

The stereotypical millennial is lazy, entitled, ruining relationships, and most of the things that were built for us. This stereotype mostly comes from the fact that we do things differently than our parents.

I went to college, got an internship when I graduated, got a job then got a better job. Not exactly what I call lazy. I started paying off my stereotypical millennial student loans and immersed myself into the 9-5 culture.

And it’s not easy for me. It’s not easy to work 5 out of the 7 days a week, to work for most of your life, to make your job your (basically) number one priority. It’s not easy for me to wake up early in the morning then work nonstop until it’s time to go. You don’t go at your own pace, there is a schedule and rules and you are supposed to follow them.

So in some ways, I’m the stereotypical millennial who wants to make their own schedule and work from my bed. Is it realistic? No, but a girl can dream!

Just because we dream, doesn’t mean we’re lazy. And it doesn’t mean all of us have the same dream. I know many people who thrive in a pressured 9-5 environment, but I’m just a stereotypical millennial when it comes to this!

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/149902454@N08/