The Best Of My Introverted Blog Posts

I’m an introvert, I tell people a lot so they can leave me the heck alone lol. Want to see what I’ve written in the past? Check out these posts about my introverted life and leave a comment on the original post if you like it!

1. Date Ideas For Homebodies

2. Being An Introverted Blogger

3. 8 Things I Don’t Like About Myself

4. How An Introvert Flirts

man sitting on green chair near trees and mountain under blue sky at daytime
Photo by anna-m. w. on Pexels.com

 

How Break Ups Can Become New Beginnings

Break ups can be different depending on what stage of your life you’re in. When you’re in high school, break ups are over-dramatized and earth shattering. In college, they’re the thing that turns you towards things you might have not done without a broken heart. After college, they make you evaluate your life.

Because when you’re in a relationship, you’ve committed to someone. And you’ve probably done that because you see yourself spending your life with that someone. Break ups in high school and college give you a lot of time to heal and explore. But a break up in your late twenties or thirties could make you feel like you’re put behind on your path of life, that you’ve wasted your time.

I’ll never say a relationship was a waste of time even though it can seem like the whole thing was pointless after a break up. But it is really really hard to kind of start from scratch when you’re at a point in your life where everyone else is settling down.

And now you’re starting over.

I would like to urge anyone my age or older to look at break ups as a new beginning. A way to get into the things you’ve never really had the time to do. A lot of us will settle for a bad job, a bad apartment, a bad attitude just because you’re sticking with it for an easier life with your partner. Now that they’re gone, it’s time to find the job you love. It’s time to live somewhere new and explore.

It’s time to love your life and love yourself.

woman wearing grey long sleeved top photography
Photo by Artem Bali on Pexels.com

Age Doesn’t Define Your Life

I’m at that point in my life where everyone I know is either engaged or talking about getting engaged. People say “oh you’re just at that age!” But it’s actually the furthest thing from what I want right now.

And I don’t think my age has anything to do with why I should be getting married. Some people get engaged after a short amount of time, some after a long amount of time – and I don’t care why you got engaged as long as marriage is something you really want and are prepared for.

But not all of us in our twenties are. Maybe not even in our forties. Or our nineties. Some people wait to get engaged to save money, some people just don’t see the rush.

And it’s not even engagement – just because you’re 22 doesn’t mean you need to be finished with college. Just because you’re 30 doesn’t mean you need to own a house. Just because you’re 40 doesn’t mean you need three kids tearing up your home.

It’s terrible to set milestones up based on how old you are. Because we didn’t all live the same life. Some of us got our hearts broken for the first time much later than others. Some of us had to work for money before being able to go to school or move on to a better job. Some of us love travel while some of us love the sense of home. We are all different and you can’t clump a group of twenty-something year olds together and expect them all to be ready and willing for the same path in life.

man standing near glass window looking outside
Photo by Charry Jin on Pexels.com

Bumble BFF – First Impressions

I’ll start this off by saying I haven’t met up with anyone in real life from Bumble BFF. And I’ll follow it up with saying that I hated dating and making friends is just like dating…so I hate this also.

If you’ve been following me for a few months now, you’ll know I’ve had little faith in Bumble BFF from the beginning. Trying to capture if someone will make a good friend from their photos and a few sentences on their profile is impossible. But for an introvert like me, it’s the easiest way to get myself out there.

So I tried. I swiped and widened my age range and location range to get a good group of people. I matched. I started conversations and let them be started by the other party. And they all fizzled within a couple hours. Shallow small talk makes it hard for you to actually get to know someone and if you’re anything like me, I hate texting in the first place so it’s hard to even get past that small talk.

Someone on the app told me that unless you make plans, real plans not just floating the usual “oh yeah let’s hang out.” Then you won’t actually become friends. This turned me off the app because it almost seems like you have to match someone, have a short conversation, then meet up with them immediately.

I haven’t given up completely. I didn’t delete the app from my phone. But I’ve been keeping busy on my own so it doesn’t feel like a good time anymore to try to incorporate someone else into my life.

If you have any Bumble BFF success stories, I’d love to hear them in the comments! Maybe I’ll get back to swiping one day.

adult casual collection fashion
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

The Hate That Can Come From Love

Love can change us. Young love shapes us, quick love pleases us, the love that’s here to stay grounds us. But I don’t think anything changes you more than the hate that can come from love when everything goes wrong.

I have loved people in situations that didn’t end poorly. We lost touch and I still hold them in my heart. Our interactions changed me, knowing that I always have and had a person who cared for me like that is warming.

But I’ve loved a lot of people that ended very very badly and nothing has impacted my life like the hate that stems from that kind of ending. It has happened with family, it has happened with friends, and it has happened romantically.

When I was young, I felt misunderstood a lot which resulted in me feeling betrayed by the people I put my heart into. The hate that stemmed from not getting along with my family followed me into high school. I didn’t put myself out there, I wasn’t a nice person, and I made it a point to not enjoy anything.

Which lead to more people betraying me – friends who didn’t care about me as much as I cared about them. Friends I dropped as soon as my graduation cap came off. Friends that hindered my ability to make friends in college. I didn’t know who truly liked me and who didn’t, I didn’t have anyone to confide in. Except a boyfriend who betrayed me.

A boyfriend who held me back for years. A boyfriend who wouldn’t let me end things with him early on. A boyfriend who shrugged me off his shoulders and never looked back when the relationship ended. And that resulted in the most hate I have ever felt, the hate that stems from really strong love. The hate that ruins your life.

For years, I carried it with me. I wouldn’t commit to anything or anyone but myself. And while I grew a lot from that, when I got out of it I realized how much I had changed. When my relationship was on the rocks, I still had high hopes and was in the process of meeting new people. The boys who gave me attention when I was in the relationship were shocked by the person I was out of it and the baggage that weighed me down after the break up. I had been happy go lucky, I didn’t have worries before the break up. I didn’t have to impress anyone because I had a person.

I didn’t have any security and zero trust. I let it change me for years, trying to love people while I healed and just returning to that same hate. Once I was past the phase of using people to make myself feel better and started getting used to make others feel better, I took a break to be by myself. I took a break and found that happy go lucky person again. And I hate that I carried that hate for years, let it change me, let it make me someone I’d never want to be.

But when you have a strong emotion like love and it ends, strong emotions follow and it’s not always pretty.

person holding cup of milk pouring
Photo by Gabriele Ribeiro on Pexels.com

Why We Rarely Exchange Gifts In Our Relationship

When birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays roll around, I’m often not thinking about what to get my boyfriend. We have just never really celebrated milestones like that with gifts.

Our first Christmas together we exchanged very small gifts. I gave him a candle, he gave me chocolate covered strawberries. And since then it’s always been that way. There have been no expectations of gifts on holidays, it’s just not really our thing.

In my past relationships, it was huge. I would be crafting, spending tons of money, racking my brain to find something my significant other liked.

But my relationship now is just easier. We don’t need things. If we are celebrating something, we’re usually going out and doing something together. Whether it’s travelling or trying something new, we prefer experiences over gifts. Even then, we don’t usually buy those things for each other. We plan and decide together what we want to do – after all, if it’s our anniversary or your birthday, why should I have all the say?

We also tend to sporadically buy each other things. I saw this on Amazon and thought of you. I thought this would really look good in our home and you would love it.

It works well for us and takes a lot of pressure off of our relationship. Giving gifts makes me more anxious than it does excited, so we have taken a different approach with showing each other how much we care.

woman in gray cardigan giving white gift box
Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

The Best Of My Dating Blog Posts

Looking for some good reads on dating? Look no further, here are some great posts I wrote in the past! Leave a comment on one of the original posts so I know that you’re liking it 🙂

  1. Making The First Move
  2. The Dreaded Serial Dater
  3. Not Everyone Sucks
  4. Does Online Dating Lack Spontaneity
  5. Dating Is Depressing
photography of couple holding hands
Photo by bruce mars on Pexels.com