Give Yourself A Break

If you read my post where I documented all of my negative thoughts in 24 hours, you’ll know that I have a lot of negative thoughts about myself. We are so hard on ourselves. And this is on top of the weight that the world is already putting on our shoulders. Responsibilities are always going to pile up, people are always going to disappoint you, and life is just not going to go as planned.

But that’s okay. Seriously, give yourself a break.

You can’t control the actions of others. You can’t control how people treat you, you can’t control life’s unforeseen twists and turns. And you can’t punish yourself for the things you can’t control. Sometimes people are just going to suck and sometimes bad things are just going to happen.

For the things you can control, be realistic. You can’t always control every aspect of your job, you can’t just quit when time’s get tough. You can’t always control how much time you have in a day to just be yourself. But you can empower yourself to learn how to deal with it better, to speak up for yourself, or to make changes when change is necessary.

But you seriously need to give yourself a break.

Take one day this week to jot down every negative thing you thought about yourself. See how hard you’re being and how unrealistic you’re being. Because you deserve better from other people, but you definitely deserve better from yourself.

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Dealing With Disappointment

People are going to disappoint you in life, it’s just going to happen. They’re going to lie to you, lead you on, put in less effort, hurt you, or pretend to be someone they’re not.

You’re going to disappoint yourself in life, it’s just going to happen. You’re going to make the wrong decision, you’re not going to speak out when you should, you’re going to lie or hurt someone or be someone you’re not.

The only way to deal with it is to analyze the situation and decide whether it deserves your forgiveness or not. Because not everyone will. And dropping them from your life might be hard, but necessary. And some people do deserve your forgiveness. It might be hard to give it to them. It might be hard to forgive yourself.

The hard times in life end up being the times where decisions are made that can better your life. When someone disappoints you, only weigh your feelings on the matter. No one can tell you or convince you how to feel. Then take those feelings and make the best decision for yourself.

Disappointment hurts, there’s no way around it. But in these time, put yourself first and be a little selfish. You’re the one who hurts, so you are allowed to decide how to make yourself feel better.

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Falling In Love Isn’t Scary, Falling Out Is

Break ups are pretty much the worst. Whether you are the one initiating the break up or you are the one being broken up with.

In most cases, you don’t want to hurt the person that you’ve been in a relationship with – no matter how long it lasted. Special feelings are developed when you commit to someone. Sometimes those feelings develop more on one side than the other.

It’s no one’s fault. You’re not getting broken up with because you’re not good looking or not smart or not fun. It’s just not working out on one side of the relationship. And it sucks for the person doing the breaking up just as much as it does for the one who is getting broken up with.

Because as humans, we just don’t want to let people down. We don’t want to disappoint. But when I break up with someone, I feel all of that disappointment. I feel so sorry that I couldn’t make it work out. That I couldn’t fall in love with you the way you fell in love with me.

Is it our fault that we don’t feel as deeply as someone else? I think in some ways, you can limit yourself to opening up to a relationship or cause some riffs to just make it seem like the relationship should end. You make excuses for yourself.

But if you just can’t justify that person as being “the one,” then there’s not much you can do about it. The fair thing is to break up with them – even if that seems just so unfair.

The falling out of love and the break ups and the disappointment can easily make you afraid of relationships. Yes, of course, we all want to fall in love. But no, I definitely do not want to have to break up with someone again. I fear that even more than being broken up with at this point. Because at least if I’m being dumped, I can be disappointed in my partner. When I break up with someone, I feel their disappointment in me and my disappointment in myself.

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