Why Be Anything But Nice?

I will be the first to admit that most of my life was spent not  being a nice person. I think I tried to be a good person when I was young, but was quickly walked all over in middle school and high school. So I tried being bitchy and it seemed to work better for me.

It kept people out of my life and at arm’s length, it kept me safe and protected, but it was a lot of effort. It was hard to consistently be meanish to people, not because I was denying my nature to be nice, but because you have to be tough all the time and keep up this image that shows people that you don’t want to be bothered. It was like a game, you can’t catch me because I’m dark and edgy and I don’t like you.

Right after I graduated college, I just realized it’s easier to be nice to everyone. You can still keep them at arm’s length, but in a way that you could reach out if you needed to. Back when I wasn’t nice at first glance, people were always disappointed when the can’t catch me girl was caught and wasn’t as dangerous as they thought. I felt like I was never living up to anything and was just over the trend of people not liking me. Who wants to be disliked? Why was I ever that way?

I watched this video on Facebook the other day about a woman who was fat shamed at a Dairy Queen. It absolutely killed me.

I have been working very hard to help build up the people in this world who have been torn down by media, society, and just the pressures of being human. Because I feel all of those things too and I need someone to build me up too.  Everyone is fabulous in their own way. I used to get jealous and spiteful when a girl looked better than me, now I’m like damnnnn girl, rock it! If you look hot, I’m going to tell you that you look hot even if I don’t know you.

Because why not? Being mean wasn’t easy, it bogged me down. I think we need to stop striving to be this elusive boss ass bitch and just be nice. You can still be powerful and kind.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/ivanatm/

The Hookup On: My Completed Winter Bucket List

The last day of winter is still a couple of weeks away, it ends on March 19th. But I actually ended up accomplishing almost all of my winter bucket list. The only things I didn’t do were playing in the snow, because there was barely any snow, and crochet a beanie, because I just didn’t have the time or resources. I can also tack on moving out into my own apartment on this list 🙂 I am super proud of myself for all that I accomplished this winter and can’t wait to put together my spring bucket list!

1. Be happy

2. 500 likes on my Facebook page

3. Go to Iceland

4. Go on a weekend trip

5. Take more pictures/go more places

6. Actually enjoy New Years

7. Get into a yoga routine

8. 4,000 instagram followers

9. Change up my hair

10. Make more time for friends

11. Make more time for myself

12. Play in the snow

13. Crochet/knit a beanie

14. Learn something new

15. Continue my commitment to my job

What goals did you accomplish this winter?

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The Hookup On: My Updated Winter Bucket List

I still hate winter. Have always hated winter. Each time this season rolls around I am reminded about how awful it is – cold, dark, and just ugh. But I decided to make the best of it, so here’s my winter bucket list:

1. Be happy

2. 500 likes on my Facebook page

3. Go to Iceland

4. Go on a weekend trip

5. Take more pictures/go more places

6. Actually enjoy New Years

7. Get into a yoga routine

8. 4,000 instagram followers

9. Change up my hair

10. Make more time for friends

11. Make more time for myself

12. Play in the snow

13. Crochet/knit a beanie

14. Learn something new

15. Continue my commitment to my job

Do you have any goals this winter? Let me know in the comments!

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The Hookup On: Does Your Blog Have A Facebook Page?

One of my goals for this winter is to reach 500 likes on my Facebook page! Currently I am at 494 likes, so only 6 away. Which is such a little number, but I think in the last few months I’ve gotten like one like per month. Meh.

SO I need your help! If you have a Facebook and would like to help out, please head over to https://www.facebook.com/hookupcultures/ and give my page a like 🙂 If your blog has a Facebook page, please drop the link in the comments and I will give it a like as well!

Thanks so much in advance for all of your support!

xoxo

Rosie

Millennial Dating Doesn’t Have To Suck

All I ever see these days is how people hate the “talking” phase of a relationship. I hear baby boomers diss us for not knowing how to date and millennials despising their almost-relationships.

Meanwhile, I’ve skipped the “talking” phase all together and have gone straight to dating. Because going on dates isn’t a commitment. There is still no pressure, it is still an almost relationship, but there are no real rules.

Because believe it or not, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. And if you don’t want to spend two months subtly snapchatting your crush, passively liking their instagrams, and only texting when you’re drunk – then don’t. If you want more, ask for more. Balls up and go out to dinner or get coffee or see a movie. Guy or girl, make the first move.

Anyone who reacts poorly to your first move or your detour from the “talking” phase is not the person for you. Trust me, you want someone who wants what you want. And if they want to putt around and put things on hold and not assign any sort of label to anything – even though casually dating is not a label – then they need to be kicked out of your life anyway.

And getting ghosted is awful, but so is getting rejected. If the person can’t be straight up with you, then they aren’t for you. If they rejected you, then they’re still not for you. It’s not a great feeling but it opens you up to move on.

Dating as a millennial doesn’t have to suck. There are plenty of people in relationships who skipped that “talking” phase you hate so much. Just stop calling it that and go on a first date and assess if you even like each other in real life! I’m sure “talking” works great for some people, but if you’re not one of those people then ditch it.

You don’t have to follow any rules, you can message first on Bumble and it won’t be weird. You can text her on a Monday morning even though you texted her last. Double text them if you have to.  It will be okay. If you hate a certain part of dating, then change your rules and make it work for you.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/coriehowell/