Moving In Together – 6 Months In

After about a year and a half of dating, my boyfriend and I moved in together and I wrote about my first impressions here.

Leading up to it, I wasn’t nervous at all. I was excited to be in one place, no more traveling back and forth to see each other and leading separate lives. Everything would be more convenient and it just felt like the next step. But the day we moved in, I freaked. The weight of all that could go wrong fell on me.

We’ve now been living together for six months and a lot has happened. We got a dog, we moved past the newness of living together, we’ve settled. We’ve had friends over, we’ve stayed in, we’ve fought, we’ve enjoyed our time together, and we’ve learned to give each other space.

It all really just happens naturally if you’re not forcing it. Nothing in life is rainbows and butterflies. You’re going to load the dishwasher wrong and he’s going to throw your dry clean only pants in the dryer and the dog is going to chew up all of your socks. Though social media doesn’t quite show those things, that’s just the way life is.

It’s basically nothing like the photo I used for this blog post. It’s not perfect, but that’s okay.

Six months in and we feel very comfortable in our little apartment together with our little family. It feels right for right now, but does have me thinking about the future a lot. Being together is great, but life has other factors and questions to consider. Do we want to live here forever? No, but when can we move? Are we on the right path for our careers? Can we follow those paths together? When’s the time to make next steps? Do we have to get engaged soon? Married? AH!

Everything is moving slow right now and I kind of just want it to speed up. But that’s no way to live and I’m way too uncertain about most of life’s decisions lately to be able to hop skip and jump to the future. All I can do is try to live in the moment and know that the here and now in our relationships and our little home is great.

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Photo by Stokpic on Pexels.com

 

Adopting A Dog – Initial Thoughts

Two months ago I wrote about how we adopted our little monster named Kaya. I introduced her to you and told you the backstory of deciding to get her. So now that we’ve had her for a few months, I wanted to give you all an updated!

I have to admit, the first month with Kaya was so hard. All of our conversations were about her and our relationship definitely went on the back burner. She was chewing things up, being a little too rowdy, and taking up most of our time. As someone who has openly admitted to not wanting kids because I selfishly like my time, this was pretty tough for me.

I don’t want to equate getting a dog to having a child, I KNOW that there is a huge difference. But they are very similar in a lot of ways. Your puppy will wake you up in the middle of the night, you’ll worry about them all day when you’re away from them, they will have accidents and ruin some of your things. They will take up MOST of your time.

I wasn’t loving the experience of having a dog, even though I had wanted one of my own for the past 5 years.

But as we all settled in to our home together, Kaya calmed down a lot. She stopped getting too wild when trying to play and stopped chewing on my stuff. She adapted to waiting for us to wake up in the morning and does so well at the dog park. After the first month of basically disliking this dog, now I love her to death.

And I’m back to equating having a dog to having a child. I now understand how giving up most of your life is worth that love you receive back. Adopting a dog should never be a light decision, it was a huge change for us, but our little family feels so complete now!

Yes, It’s True, I Don’t Want Kids

When I say I don’t want kids, everyone says: “you’ll change your mind!” or “you’re still young!” or “are you sure?”

Yes, I’m sure.

It’s one of the first things I told my boyfriend and reminded him of almost monthly to make sure he was okay with it too. Because I won’t change my mind, I really don’t want them.

If I’m being honest, it’s mostly because I’m selfish. I value my time, my sleep, my freedom, and the money I make to spend on my lifestyle. I know kids are great, I have nieces and a nephew who I love to spend time with and spoil, but I don’t have to dedicate my whole life to them. And I don’t want to do that with kids of my own.

Even adopting a dog has been a lot more responsibility than I had imagined for myself. I always vowed to never get a puppy because of the time and effort it takes. Luckily, we adopted my dog at 1 year old and potty trained – but she is still a lot to take!

Maybe (and this is a big MAYBE), when I’m 20 years older and feeling like my youth is spent, I would look into fostering or adopting. But that’s way down the road and not something I really need to put a lot of weight into right now.

I’m young and everyone expects women to have kids by their early thirties. For me, that’s less than 10 years away and a big N O. In the next 10 years I want to move out of state, I want to travel the world, I want to adopt another dog, maybe get married and maybe buy a house with chickens in the backyard. But I definitely don’t want kids.

They say my generation is opting out of having kids. If you do want them – that’s great! If you don’t – that’s also great! Make sure you have a plan for your future, that you discuss feelings with your significant other, and know that things can change. But always stick to your instincts. My generation has a lot of reasons to not have kids. We’re in debt. We haven’t even settled at a stable job yet. We can’t afford to buy a house. But the only reason I really need is that I just don’t want them.

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Photo by JÉSHOOTS on Pexels.com

May Recap

May flew by! My birthday is next week and I’m sure there will be more great things to come, but here is a recap of all of the things I’ve enjoyed the past month!

Favorite show: The Handmaid’s Tale.

Favorite memory: I’ve gotten to see my friends so much more this month so every day with them has been a great memory! The best is when I was asked to be a bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding 🙂

Favorite place: Philadelphia, PA

Favorite meal: I’ve gotten sushi and a bubble tea from this sushi place near my work like twice a week this month lol.

Favorite Instagram: I love this photo of me and my boyfriend.

Favorite Tweet: I dug this selfie I posted.

Favorite book: The only book I read this month was 10 Things To Do Before I Die which I’ve read before and is okay.

Favorite blog post: This response to my 22 year old self.

Favorite collaboration: I love baths so this Queen V Bubble Bath was a huge winner for me!

What’s one of your favorite things from May?

 

The Yes Theory

As an introvert, I really struggle to find a happy medium of social and alone time in my life. Mostly because if it were up to me, I’d be alone ALL the time. But that’s not really healthy and there are so many people in my life that I care about enough to put in the effort of breaking free of my introvert lifestyle.

And it’s kind of frustrating because in a way I have all these dreams and aspirations to do more and I think my introverted personality along with sheer laziness just keep me in this boring middle ground of wanting more but not really wanting to do more. I wrote a post about it and was reminded of the yes theory by sparkle in my eye.

So now I’m saying yes (within reason). I said yes to a trip to Orlando where 90% of my time would be alone time in a strange place and traveling back home alone which I get very nervous about. I said yes to a whole lot of Instagram collaborations that required a lot of time and forced me to create a calendar and execute. I said yes to my first blogger event that I dragged my friend to because I was wayyyy too nervous to go alone. I said yes to talking in my Instagram stories and showing my face in a real way. I said yes to a new gym to help boost my fitness morale. I said yes to booking up my first two weekends in April even though back to back plans usually stress me out.

All these things I said yes to don’t seem like huge steps, but they are the steps that are going to get me back into the direction of doing more things that I love. And I’m going to say yes to more things. I made my spring bucket list longer than all of my other lists because I really want to push myself to do the things I love but am too apathetic. I’ve settled in a place I don’t want to be, so it’s time to motivate and move forward.

What’s one thing you’ve said yes to lately?

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Do People Change?

I often see the worst in people. So when someone tells me they will change, I barely believe them. This is partly because I don’t want to be disappointed and partly because most of the time, they don’t change.

I think there are the parts of us that make us who we are and those are the parts no one should ever ask you to change. Whether it be your friends, a significant other, or family. They can’t ask you to change, but they shouldn’t be forced to deal with something they don’t like. So you can try to change for your significant other or you can let the relationship go.

If you’re asking someone to change and they’re unwilling or can’t see why they need to change, then it will never happen. You’re putting all your eggs in a basket that’s ready to fall apart.

If they can see the change that needs to be made, they may have a greater chance at actually making that change. But most of the time, relationship problems come from the core of someone. It comes from a part of their personality that has been there for years, something that is deep rooted. Can people really change those parts of themselves?

It all depends on your want or need to change and the recognition of the problem. I’m sure people can change, I just rarely see it.

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Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/kerenzayuen/

The Hookup On: Plant Nite!

I am obsessed with all these sipping and crafting nights that are popping up recently. Plant Nite was such a fun time! Basically, you are given the materials to create an adorable succulent arrangement while being able to sip on some drinks and socialize. You can check out the one I attended in Central New Jersey at their Facebook page.

The night starts with a cute little oath about keeping dirt out of our drinks and not saying the word moist (yuck!), then you are given step by step instructions on how to make the perfect terrarium for your succulents and how to care for them!

I went with my mom, but this could be a great night with any family member, friends, or significant other! You can check out pictures on their Instagram page here. Anyone would enjoy this, my mom isn’t the most social person (and I have inherited that trait), but we got along so well with the instructor and our table. My mom even took pictures like a true blogger!

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I’m super happy with my final product, it’s currently sitting on the windowsill in my office. I’ve been wanting to do a Plant Nite for a while now and was so glad to attend this one, the crowd and the drinks were great! This was seriously my ideal night out and I can’t wait to go to another one.


I received a ticket to this event in exchange for an honest review, all opinions are mine.

Have you ever done a Plant Nite? Let me know in the comments!