Who doesn’t like to win? We are wired to be the best we can be and it’s a very disrupting feeling to know you’re coming in second to someone – especially in relationships.
It’s a hookup culture, we know that a lot of people are hooking up with more than one person at a time. We accept it, because we’re probably doing it too. What hurts is knowing you are not someone’s number one choice.
You could get cheated on. You could be the person being held on the back burner while the person you like is in a relationship. You could be the second option when it comes to a booty call. You could be the afterthought.
All of these things and more will make you believe that you are second best. If you get cheated on, you’ll believe it’s because someone else is better than you. Someone made a greater offer, was prettier, or smarter – just overall better than you.
You could be held on the back burner, even participate in someone’s cheating in their relationship. But if you were the one they wanted to be with, you would be. There’s obviously someone else who means more.
You probably know when you’re hooking up with someone if they are also hooking up with other people. You’re not the first call, there was someone more worthy than you. But you were just more available.
Overall, it sucks to be the second option – so don’t make yourself the second option. If your crush wants someone else, let them have it. Don’t be the rag doll to be picked up and played with sporadically. It may make you feel good for a while – to have your first choice pick you first for once too – but it will only make you feel worse in the end. You’ll never come in first to these people, at least not morally. Come first in your own life and find someone who will always make you feel like you’ve won.