My Work Personality

We all have to act certain ways to fit in sometimes, but I try never to stray too far from my true personality. While some people choose to get very prim and proper at work and keep a professional face at all times, that’s just never been my style.

I’m a casual and approachable person, I want people to feel comfortable around me. I don’t ditch my sarcastic quips or approachable demeanor just because I’m in a room of suits. I try to make everyone comfortable around me and it seems to work.

I recently read this blog post about a study saying that when women joke in the work place, it comes off as disruptive and unprofessional. But when men do it, it’s a way of producing positive outcomes. I’m not surprised at all by this. It goes along with the strong stereotype of women comedians not being funny.

On the other hand, women that don’t crack jokes can be seen as hard or bitchy. It’s usually a no-win situation.

And while I’m not surprised, I’m not going to change my work ways. I may come off as unprofessional to you, but I’m still getting my work done. I’m still successful. And I think I do a pretty good job of making people comfortable and trusting of me.

I’ve been lucky enough to work in a predominantly female environment. It’s very empowering to sit around a conference table of all women. It shows me that women of any personality can be successful. Being your true, authentic self is one of the most important things you can do in life.

woman in black t shirt using laptop computer
Photo by Eugene Chystiakov on Pexels.com

 

 

How To Actually Support Women

I think we talk a lot of talk about how we want men and women to be equal and many men say that they support women 100%. But I don’t think they really know what that support entails. I saw the following images on Twitter and was disgusted with the reaction from guys who are telling her to be more humble.

hc

Because I have guys in my life telling me to be more confident, that I’m beautiful, that I should stop being so hard on myself. And I don’t believe them, I have a hard time accepting my appearance and if I say “thank you” to a compliment, I’m internally saying “you’re wrong.”

But the second a girl actually loves herself and gains confidence, men and women come out of the woodwork to tear her down. So which is it? You support us, but we shouldn’t get too ahead of ourselves?

hc2

If you want to actually support women, you have to accept them. This applies to men and women. You have to let them be themselves, love themselves. You can’t tear them down and call them sluts for sleeping with a few guys or call them egotistical for loving themselves. Because let’s be honest, if you’re posting a picture of yourself on snapchat you already know you look good in it. You have to accept that not all women are weak and in need of your help. But some are.

You have to support them all, not just the ones that fit the mold that you like.

hc3

Chivalry Isn’t Dead – It Just Changed

I often hear women talking about the way they would like to be treated by men. They want “old school” romance where they’re picked up at their front door, their car door is opened for them, and their meal is paid for.  They want their guy to be chivalrous – a knight in shining armor who only has eyes for them and treats them like the princess they are.

Women complain that men aren’t chivalrous at all anymore, that chivalry is just dead and gone.  There apparently is no such thing as dating, going out for dinner, or to the movies.  There are only hook ups and long texting conversations. There is no such thing as a guy who is going to treat you right and not talk to other girls.  “All guys are the same.”

This is so untrue it makes me cringe.  Imagine the things men could say about women for even thinking this way.

We live in a different time. A time where women hold a huge amount of power.  A time where women can walk to a car, open their own door, and pay for their own meal.

Stop thinking chivalry and start thinking equality. If you expect to be treated like a princess, you need to be treating your guy like a prince.  There ARE men in this world who will take you out on dates, hold the door open for you, and be everything you want them to be if you start lowering your expectations and stop thinking back to the way things used to be 20 years ago.

Not all guys are the same.  Respect demands respect and the way you act, carry yourself, and the way you date will bring you the chivalry you’re looking for.  Granted, you’ll probably run into some boys who will always be sucky people, but if you know you deserve better then you will eventually get that.

You don’t need a knight in shining armor – you are fully capable of saving yourself.  When you are aware of that, your knight in shining armor will come along (just in case you need a little back up).

photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/hernanpc/
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/hernanpc/