The Yes Theory

As an introvert, I really struggle to find a happy medium of social and alone time in my life. Mostly because if it were up to me, I’d be alone ALL the time. But that’s not really healthy and there are so many people in my life that I care about enough to put in the effort of breaking free of my introvert lifestyle.

And it’s kind of frustrating because in a way I have all these dreams and aspirations to do more and I think my introverted personality along with sheer laziness just keep me in this boring middle ground of wanting more but not really wanting to do more. I wrote a post about it and was reminded of the yes theory by sparkle in my eye.

So now I’m saying yes (within reason). I said yes to a trip to Orlando where 90% of my time would be alone time in a strange place and traveling back home alone which I get very nervous about. I said yes to a whole lot of Instagram collaborations that required a lot of time and forced me to create a calendar and execute. I said yes to my first blogger event that I dragged my friend to because I was wayyyy too nervous to go alone. I said yes to talking in my Instagram stories and showing my face in a real way. I said yes to a new gym to help boost my fitness morale. I said yes to booking up my first two weekends in April even though back to back plans usually stress me out.

All these things I said yes to don’t seem like huge steps, but they are the steps that are going to get me back into the direction of doing more things that I love. And I’m going to say yes to more things. I made my spring bucket list longer than all of my other lists because I really want to push myself to do the things I love but am too apathetic. I’ve settled in a place I don’t want to be, so it’s time to motivate and move forward.

What’s one thing you’ve said yes to lately?

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Somewhere In Between

I feel pretty weird about this stage of my life. While I know I don’t need to have everything figured out at 24 years old, I do know that there are some things that I should feel more comfortable with.

But everything is very up and down at the moment. I just moved into a new place, so where I live will be a constant for probably the next two years. Therefore, I really don’t have any big life changes coming down the road – and I kind of thrive on change. I don’t plan on moving, don’t plan on changing jobs, don’t plan on making any relationship steps. Which is all fine, but the lack of change makes me uneasy.

And I feel like I should be more comfortable with my friends, the way I spend my time, the way I look. But I just can’t find a balance.

My friends all have their friends and they all live more than an hour away making pretty much everything hard. I’m tired after work so I don’t really do anything exciting – probably the only thing worth mentioning is my blog but that has become so integrated into my life. And I can’t get past any fitness plateaus, I’m so stagnant.

But what do I do? Join a club at 24 years old? I’ve never been an outgoing person and just the thought of trying to make new friends makes me want to hide under the covers. Do I just accept I’m at a weird transitional part of my life and that the puzzle pieces will fall into place soon? Because so far I’ve learned when you expect things to get easier, they don’t.

Being 24 is weird.

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Friendships in Your 20’s

One thing no one prepared me for was how different friendships become after you leave college. In college, you live with your best friends. You eat with them, go everywhere with them, you rely on them like family. Then *poof* graduation comes and you all have to separate.

It’s hard to get on the same schedule after that. It’s hard to see each other, make commitments to each other, and stay in touch. It’s hard to keep that family type of feeling alive because you’re relying on other people now.

It kind of feels like things start to fall apart because you were so used to knowing everything about someone and now you only get to see them once a month. Friend dynamics change. You make new ones, old ones fall off the map, and some friendships start to take priority over others.

Effort is required on both ends to keep a friendship going and it’s frustrating when you don’t live near each other and more effort is being put in on one side and none on the other. I think friendships in your 20’s means sometimes we just have friends who are there for a good time, not the hard times. And we can’t put all our care into those friendships anymore.

It’s fine to keep those people around for the good times, but we can’t get upset when they don’t reciprocate the care we show. Then there truly are friends who are in it for the long haul. Friends who you only see once every 3 months, only text once a month, who you can still turn to at the end of a long day even though it feels like you’ve been strangers for a while.

Friendships in your 20’s is all about putting yourself and those who care first and leaving the rest as a secondary thought. We’re growing up, we can’t put all our time and energy into people who don’t do the same for us. It’s sad, but it’s time to move on.

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Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/emilio_k/

Do People Change?

I often see the worst in people. So when someone tells me they will change, I barely believe them. This is partly because I don’t want to be disappointed and partly because most of the time, they don’t change.

I think there are the parts of us that make us who we are and those are the parts no one should ever ask you to change. Whether it be your friends, a significant other, or family. They can’t ask you to change, but they shouldn’t be forced to deal with something they don’t like. So you can try to change for your significant other or you can let the relationship go.

If you’re asking someone to change and they’re unwilling or can’t see why they need to change, then it will never happen. You’re putting all your eggs in a basket that’s ready to fall apart.

If they can see the change that needs to be made, they may have a greater chance at actually making that change. But most of the time, relationship problems come from the core of someone. It comes from a part of their personality that has been there for years, something that is deep rooted. Can people really change those parts of themselves?

It all depends on your want or need to change and the recognition of the problem. I’m sure people can change, I just rarely see it.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/kerenzayuen/

The Hookup On: My Social Media

I’ve gotten some new followers lately so this is for them (and the old followers who have yet to click the links :p) – if you like my blog check out my social media! While I’m super active on Instagram, I’ve been stepping up my Facebook and Twitter game! Please drop your social media links in the comments so we can all check you out! 🙂

Instagram: @rosieculture

Facebook: facebook.com/rosieculture

Twitter: @rosieculture

The Hookup On: Plant Nite!

I am obsessed with all these sipping and crafting nights that are popping up recently. Plant Nite was such a fun time! Basically, you are given the materials to create an adorable succulent arrangement while being able to sip on some drinks and socialize. You can check out the one I attended in Central New Jersey at their Facebook page.

The night starts with a cute little oath about keeping dirt out of our drinks and not saying the word moist (yuck!), then you are given step by step instructions on how to make the perfect terrarium for your succulents and how to care for them!

I went with my mom, but this could be a great night with any family member, friends, or significant other! You can check out pictures on their Instagram page here. Anyone would enjoy this, my mom isn’t the most social person (and I have inherited that trait), but we got along so well with the instructor and our table. My mom even took pictures like a true blogger!

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I’m super happy with my final product, it’s currently sitting on the windowsill in my office. I’ve been wanting to do a Plant Nite for a while now and was so glad to attend this one, the crowd and the drinks were great! This was seriously my ideal night out and I can’t wait to go to another one.


I received a ticket to this event in exchange for an honest review, all opinions are mine.

Have you ever done a Plant Nite? Let me know in the comments!

When Life Gets Busy

I love change in the sense that I don’t like to stay in the same place for too long and am always looking to move forward. I hate change in the sense where things I like and got comfortable with can’t stay that way.

Sometimes, life gets busy and we have less time for each other. Whether it’s friends, family, or significant others. And you want to support people through those busy times, but only if you feel supported in return. Otherwise it gets lonely, otherwise you feel like you’re heaving in effort but getting left in the dust.

Busy seasons are an adjustment. Sometimes they last forever, sometimes it’s just for a couple of weeks. And you have to take that change and roll with it and hope that you can either assimilate or that it will go back to normal soon.

When others get busy and when you get busy, it gets lonely. There’s a lot of pressure on both sides to either be supportive or get everything done that you need to. You might lose people along the way and that’s okay. Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever, not everyone can handle the stress that comes with busy schedules and making time.

When life gets busy it’s not just one aspect, it’s the whole thing. It’s your thoughts running a mile a minute, it’s your work demand, it’s your friends and family and significant other not having time for you. It’s a heavy lift that not all of us are cut out for.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/lattefarsan/