Making Time For Your Friends In Your 20’s

When I graduated college, my friends and I all cried over the fact that life would be so different without us living just a hallway away from each other. But I don’t think I realized how different it would really be.

We all have jobs and relationships. Some people have houses and dogs. Some of us have demanding schedules. It’s really really hard to stay in touch with your friends and it can be easy to let it just fall to the side when you know they’ll always be there for you when you need them.

But needing them doesn’t always mean you’re having an actual crisis. You need your friends a lot more than you think you do, even when you have a support system at home. It’s not the same as the comfort your friends can give you.

They’re probably going through what you’re going through and you probably haven’t taken the time to properly talk about your life with someone who isn’t with you all the tine. Your friends can help you, it doesn’t need to be a time of despair. It might just be a time where you feel like you need a little more fresh air.

It takes work – a lot more work than some people are willing to put in to keep friendships around. But it’s important work. It’s the same as the effort you need to continuously put into your relationship. You can’t just expect to put people down and pick them back up when you need them.

Send the text, make the call, put together some plans. Be the person who is always reaching out with dates to see if anyone can get together. It’s exhausting and can be frustrating – but your good friends are worth it.

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What’s Making You Unhappy?

Something just isn’t quite right…but I’m not sure what it is. Do you ever look at your life because something needs to change, but you can’t figure out what it is?

It seems like a lot of good things are lined up for me. I’ve had a lot of time with my family, a lot of fun on the weekends, and have been working on bettering myself. But then there seem to be twinges of things that are not just going right – but which of them are creating so much of an impact that it’s making me unhappy?

I’ve let a lot of projects die lately. I was saying yes to as many things as I could, I was writing in a gratitude journal, I was trying to be mindful. And I don’t think those things were making huge differences in my life, but ditching them could be behind my unhappiness.

Complacency has also been a huge struggle for me lately. I have been trying to get out of my appearance rut, but haven’t been able to change anything in my daily routine. I spend a lot of time wishing the days away and then sitting on my couch and watching Netflix all evening.

Even when I get to the weekend, I have ended up doing a lot of things by myself recently and occupying my own time. I’m normally all for it, but I had been pushing myself out of my anti-social box lately and now I feel like I’m walking in circles trying to make myself happy all by myself.

None of these are huge problems. I can’t point to one and say that it’s truly making a dent into my happiness. I guess it could be all these small pebbles creating one big mountain I can’t climb. Something just isn’t quite right, but I’m not sure what it is. What’s making you unhappy?

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When Social Media Takes Over Real Life

The way I approach social media is the following: do it for the gram, but also do it because you love it. I find nothing wrong with people sharing their adventures, selfies, and accomplishments on social media. I find nothing wrong with people traveling just because they want a great photo. I find nothing wrong with people hopping on certain trends like books, movies, or becoming more aware of what’s going on in the world just so they can chime in on social media conversation. Because it may all be for this little internet world, but there are many real life experiences coming from it.

It’s not always the case though. Sometimes our social media lives take over our real lives. And I hate to admit it, but it’s happening to me right now.

If you were to go on my Instagram right now, you’d see fun travel shots from the past. You’d see that I spent my weekend loving life and going to farmer’s markets and getting coffee. You’d see all my friends commenting and liking my photos.

But my real life is just nothing like that right now.

I’m pretty bored and the occasional coffee run doesn’t change that. Work is stressful, life is mundane, and I’m tired. So I’ve dug myself deep into the social media hole just to escape life.

Nothing really should be used to escape life. Alcohol, traveling, social media – are all things you can enjoy, but shouldn’t be used to just forget your life. And that’s what it feels like for now and I’m honestly sharing it with the world because I know other people get sucked up in it too.

I get home from work, put on netflix, and scroll through my phone until it’s time to sleep and that’s no way to live.

Sometimes social media just takes over our lives, but we have to recognize it and get ourselves out and do something for ourselves. Because social media is not going to do it for us.

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May Recap

May flew by! My birthday is next week and I’m sure there will be more great things to come, but here is a recap of all of the things I’ve enjoyed the past month!

Favorite show: The Handmaid’s Tale.

Favorite memory: I’ve gotten to see my friends so much more this month so every day with them has been a great memory! The best is when I was asked to be a bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding 🙂

Favorite place: Philadelphia, PA

Favorite meal: I’ve gotten sushi and a bubble tea from this sushi place near my work like twice a week this month lol.

Favorite Instagram: I love this photo of me and my boyfriend.

Favorite Tweet: I dug this selfie I posted.

Favorite book: The only book I read this month was 10 Things To Do Before I Die which I’ve read before and is okay.

Favorite blog post: This response to my 22 year old self.

Favorite collaboration: I love baths so this Queen V Bubble Bath was a huge winner for me!

What’s one of your favorite things from May?

 

A Response To My 22 Year Old Self

Dear 22 year old self,

I was looking at my blog stats and saw someone searched “letter to myself at 25” and found my blog post. I didn’t even remember that I had written a post to myself two years ago (I was on the verge of 23) and I can’t believe that I have been blogging that long. What a blast from the past to see a long lost version of myself give me advice now as I turn 25 next week.

When I turned 23, I went to Toronto with my friends and had just started a new job. A new job that I have now been at for two years. I was coming off a high of moving out of my parents house. I was single. And everything felt really uncertain, the strongest bond I had at the time was with my friends and even then it was hard to be the only single girl in the group.

Thank you, 22 year old self, for having faith in me. It turns out you were right and had the strength in you all along. A lot less things are uncertain. I have a steady job, I’ve moved in with my boyfriend, and we have a pet dog and gecko. There are less question marks surrounding my life.

But there are still challenges and you were right that I have disappointed people. Myself included. I think that all just comes with growing up. Sometimes you have to make yourself a priority, sometimes you won’t see your friends as much as you’d like to, and sometimes you just can’t live up to the expectations you’ve set for yourself.

Thank you so much for your kind words, 22 year old self. I will write a letter to my future self again and will remember that there’s no need to put pressure on myself and to be kind. What happens, happens.

Love,
Me

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The Yes Theory

As an introvert, I really struggle to find a happy medium of social and alone time in my life. Mostly because if it were up to me, I’d be alone ALL the time. But that’s not really healthy and there are so many people in my life that I care about enough to put in the effort of breaking free of my introvert lifestyle.

And it’s kind of frustrating because in a way I have all these dreams and aspirations to do more and I think my introverted personality along with sheer laziness just keep me in this boring middle ground of wanting more but not really wanting to do more. I wrote a post about it and was reminded of the yes theory by sparkle in my eye.

So now I’m saying yes (within reason). I said yes to a trip to Orlando where 90% of my time would be alone time in a strange place and traveling back home alone which I get very nervous about. I said yes to a whole lot of Instagram collaborations that required a lot of time and forced me to create a calendar and execute. I said yes to my first blogger event that I dragged my friend to because I was wayyyy too nervous to go alone. I said yes to talking in my Instagram stories and showing my face in a real way. I said yes to a new gym to help boost my fitness morale. I said yes to booking up my first two weekends in April even though back to back plans usually stress me out.

All these things I said yes to don’t seem like huge steps, but they are the steps that are going to get me back into the direction of doing more things that I love. And I’m going to say yes to more things. I made my spring bucket list longer than all of my other lists because I really want to push myself to do the things I love but am too apathetic. I’ve settled in a place I don’t want to be, so it’s time to motivate and move forward.

What’s one thing you’ve said yes to lately?

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Somewhere In Between

I feel pretty weird about this stage of my life. While I know I don’t need to have everything figured out at 24 years old, I do know that there are some things that I should feel more comfortable with.

But everything is very up and down at the moment. I just moved into a new place, so where I live will be a constant for probably the next two years. Therefore, I really don’t have any big life changes coming down the road – and I kind of thrive on change. I don’t plan on moving, don’t plan on changing jobs, don’t plan on making any relationship steps. Which is all fine, but the lack of change makes me uneasy.

And I feel like I should be more comfortable with my friends, the way I spend my time, the way I look. But I just can’t find a balance.

My friends all have their friends and they all live more than an hour away making pretty much everything hard. I’m tired after work so I don’t really do anything exciting – probably the only thing worth mentioning is my blog but that has become so integrated into my life. And I can’t get past any fitness plateaus, I’m so stagnant.

But what do I do? Join a club at 24 years old? I’ve never been an outgoing person and just the thought of trying to make new friends makes me want to hide under the covers. Do I just accept I’m at a weird transitional part of my life and that the puzzle pieces will fall into place soon? Because so far I’ve learned when you expect things to get easier, they don’t.

Being 24 is weird.

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