Give Yourself A Break

If you read my post where I documented all of my negative thoughts in 24 hours, you’ll know that I have a lot of negative thoughts about myself. We are so hard on ourselves. And this is on top of the weight that the world is already putting on our shoulders. Responsibilities are always going to pile up, people are always going to disappoint you, and life is just not going to go as planned.

But that’s okay. Seriously, give yourself a break.

You can’t control the actions of others. You can’t control how people treat you, you can’t control life’s unforeseen twists and turns. And you can’t punish yourself for the things you can’t control. Sometimes people are just going to suck and sometimes bad things are just going to happen.

For the things you can control, be realistic. You can’t always control every aspect of your job, you can’t just quit when time’s get tough. You can’t always control how much time you have in a day to just be yourself. But you can empower yourself to learn how to deal with it better, to speak up for yourself, or to make changes when change is necessary.

But you seriously need to give yourself a break.

Take one day this week to jot down every negative thing you thought about yourself. See how hard you’re being and how unrealistic you’re being. Because you deserve better from other people, but you definitely deserve better from yourself.

woman sitting on a cliff watching the body of water
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The Struggle Of Being Sentimental

I’ve never had a good memory and I’ve never had a huge attachment to places. But if I have a token of a place or a photo of a time, then I’m able to remember the event more clearly. I collect things from important people and places I go and I’ve become very sentimental.

I have boxes of things I’ve acquired over the years. Diaries, cards, ticket stubs, birthday presents that came from people who I left in the past, a lot of bad poetry from high school. I have a hard time throwing those things away because they are probably the only things that will trigger those memories for me.

I went through some of the boxes recently and could only throw away a few things. Diaries that mostly only spoke about how my family were jerks and how I was fat, photos of people who left me with bad feelings, and trinkets that I couldn’t find an attachment to.

But there’s so much left and the problem with being sentimental isn’t that I’m going to become a hoarder one day. The problem is that these things make me miss people who have hurt me, who I don’t even like anymore. They make me miss times that I was actually miserable during. But by being so sentimental, it’s easy to forget the bad. Even when they are things that should be long gone.

It’s hard to be so sentimental, I feel oddly attached to dumb things and then feel like reaching out to people who stopped caring about me altogether. It’s a dangerous road and I’ve found it best to just keep those boxes closed.

diary girl hand journal
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Making Time For Your Friends In Your 20’s

When I graduated college, my friends and I all cried over the fact that life would be so different without us living just a hallway away from each other. But I don’t think I realized how different it would really be.

We all have jobs and relationships. Some people have houses and dogs. Some of us have demanding schedules. It’s really really hard to stay in touch with your friends and it can be easy to let it just fall to the side when you know they’ll always be there for you when you need them.

But needing them doesn’t always mean you’re having an actual crisis. You need your friends a lot more than you think you do, even when you have a support system at home. It’s not the same as the comfort your friends can give you.

They’re probably going through what you’re going through and you probably haven’t taken the time to properly talk about your life with someone who isn’t with you all the tine. Your friends can help you, it doesn’t need to be a time of despair. It might just be a time where you feel like you need a little more fresh air.

It takes work – a lot more work than some people are willing to put in to keep friendships around. But it’s important work. It’s the same as the effort you need to continuously put into your relationship. You can’t just expect to put people down and pick them back up when you need them.

Send the text, make the call, put together some plans. Be the person who is always reaching out with dates to see if anyone can get together. It’s exhausting and can be frustrating – but your good friends are worth it.

backlit dawn foggy friendship
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What’s Making You Unhappy?

Something just isn’t quite right…but I’m not sure what it is. Do you ever look at your life because something needs to change, but you can’t figure out what it is?

It seems like a lot of good things are lined up for me. I’ve had a lot of time with my family, a lot of fun on the weekends, and have been working on bettering myself. But then there seem to be twinges of things that are not just going right – but which of them are creating so much of an impact that it’s making me unhappy?

I’ve let a lot of projects die lately. I was saying yes to as many things as I could, I was writing in a gratitude journal, I was trying to be mindful. And I don’t think those things were making huge differences in my life, but ditching them could be behind my unhappiness.

Complacency has also been a huge struggle for me lately. I have been trying to get out of my appearance rut, but haven’t been able to change anything in my daily routine. I spend a lot of time wishing the days away and then sitting on my couch and watching Netflix all evening.

Even when I get to the weekend, I have ended up doing a lot of things by myself recently and occupying my own time. I’m normally all for it, but I had been pushing myself out of my anti-social box lately and now I feel like I’m walking in circles trying to make myself happy all by myself.

None of these are huge problems. I can’t point to one and say that it’s truly making a dent into my happiness. I guess it could be all these small pebbles creating one big mountain I can’t climb. Something just isn’t quite right, but I’m not sure what it is. What’s making you unhappy?

adult art conceptual dark
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When Social Media Takes Over Real Life

The way I approach social media is the following: do it for the gram, but also do it because you love it. I find nothing wrong with people sharing their adventures, selfies, and accomplishments on social media. I find nothing wrong with people traveling just because they want a great photo. I find nothing wrong with people hopping on certain trends like books, movies, or becoming more aware of what’s going on in the world just so they can chime in on social media conversation. Because it may all be for this little internet world, but there are many real life experiences coming from it.

It’s not always the case though. Sometimes our social media lives take over our real lives. And I hate to admit it, but it’s happening to me right now.

If you were to go on my Instagram right now, you’d see fun travel shots from the past. You’d see that I spent my weekend loving life and going to farmer’s markets and getting coffee. You’d see all my friends commenting and liking my photos.

But my real life is just nothing like that right now.

I’m pretty bored and the occasional coffee run doesn’t change that. Work is stressful, life is mundane, and I’m tired. So I’ve dug myself deep into the social media hole just to escape life.

Nothing really should be used to escape life. Alcohol, traveling, social media – are all things you can enjoy, but shouldn’t be used to just forget your life. And that’s what it feels like for now and I’m honestly sharing it with the world because I know other people get sucked up in it too.

I get home from work, put on netflix, and scroll through my phone until it’s time to sleep and that’s no way to live.

Sometimes social media just takes over our lives, but we have to recognize it and get ourselves out and do something for ourselves. Because social media is not going to do it for us.

woman wearing black scoop neck shirt standing in front on concrete column holding smartphone
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May Recap

May flew by! My birthday is next week and I’m sure there will be more great things to come, but here is a recap of all of the things I’ve enjoyed the past month!

Favorite show: The Handmaid’s Tale.

Favorite memory: I’ve gotten to see my friends so much more this month so every day with them has been a great memory! The best is when I was asked to be a bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding 🙂

Favorite place: Philadelphia, PA

Favorite meal: I’ve gotten sushi and a bubble tea from this sushi place near my work like twice a week this month lol.

Favorite Instagram: I love this photo of me and my boyfriend.

Favorite Tweet: I dug this selfie I posted.

Favorite book: The only book I read this month was 10 Things To Do Before I Die which I’ve read before and is okay.

Favorite blog post: This response to my 22 year old self.

Favorite collaboration: I love baths so this Queen V Bubble Bath was a huge winner for me!

What’s one of your favorite things from May?