When Social Media Takes Over Real Life

The way I approach social media is the following: do it for the gram, but also do it because you love it. I find nothing wrong with people sharing their adventures, selfies, and accomplishments on social media. I find nothing wrong with people traveling just because they want a great photo. I find nothing wrong with people hopping on certain trends like books, movies, or becoming more aware of what’s going on in the world just so they can chime in on social media conversation. Because it may all be for this little internet world, but there are many real life experiences coming from it.

It’s not always the case though. Sometimes our social media lives take over our real lives. And I hate to admit it, but it’s happening to me right now.

If you were to go on my Instagram right now, you’d see fun travel shots from the past. You’d see that I spent my weekend loving life and going to farmer’s markets and getting coffee. You’d see all my friends commenting and liking my photos.

But my real life is just nothing like that right now.

I’m pretty bored and the occasional coffee run doesn’t change that. Work is stressful, life is mundane, and I’m tired. So I’ve dug myself deep into the social media hole just to escape life.

Nothing really should be used to escape life. Alcohol, traveling, social media – are all things you can enjoy, but shouldn’t be used to just forget your life. And that’s what it feels like for now and I’m honestly sharing it with the world because I know other people get sucked up in it too.

I get home from work, put on netflix, and scroll through my phone until it’s time to sleep and that’s no way to live.

Sometimes social media just takes over our lives, but we have to recognize it and get ourselves out and do something for ourselves. Because social media is not going to do it for us.

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May Recap

May flew by! My birthday is next week and I’m sure there will be more great things to come, but here is a recap of all of the things I’ve enjoyed the past month!

Favorite show: The Handmaid’s Tale.

Favorite memory: I’ve gotten to see my friends so much more this month so every day with them has been a great memory! The best is when I was asked to be a bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding 🙂

Favorite place: Philadelphia, PA

Favorite meal: I’ve gotten sushi and a bubble tea from this sushi place near my work like twice a week this month lol.

Favorite Instagram: I love this photo of me and my boyfriend.

Favorite Tweet: I dug this selfie I posted.

Favorite book: The only book I read this month was 10 Things To Do Before I Die which I’ve read before and is okay.

Favorite blog post: This response to my 22 year old self.

Favorite collaboration: I love baths so this Queen V Bubble Bath was a huge winner for me!

What’s one of your favorite things from May?

 

A Response To My 22 Year Old Self

Dear 22 year old self,

I was looking at my blog stats and saw someone searched “letter to myself at 25” and found my blog post. I didn’t even remember that I had written a post to myself two years ago (I was on the verge of 23) and I can’t believe that I have been blogging that long. What a blast from the past to see a long lost version of myself give me advice now as I turn 25 next week.

When I turned 23, I went to Toronto with my friends and had just started a new job. A new job that I have now been at for two years. I was coming off a high of moving out of my parents house. I was single. And everything felt really uncertain, the strongest bond I had at the time was with my friends and even then it was hard to be the only single girl in the group.

Thank you, 22 year old self, for having faith in me. It turns out you were right and had the strength in you all along. A lot less things are uncertain. I have a steady job, I’ve moved in with my boyfriend, and we have a pet dog and gecko. There are less question marks surrounding my life.

But there are still challenges and you were right that I have disappointed people. Myself included. I think that all just comes with growing up. Sometimes you have to make yourself a priority, sometimes you won’t see your friends as much as you’d like to, and sometimes you just can’t live up to the expectations you’ve set for yourself.

Thank you so much for your kind words, 22 year old self. I will write a letter to my future self again and will remember that there’s no need to put pressure on myself and to be kind. What happens, happens.

Love,
Me

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The Yes Theory

As an introvert, I really struggle to find a happy medium of social and alone time in my life. Mostly because if it were up to me, I’d be alone ALL the time. But that’s not really healthy and there are so many people in my life that I care about enough to put in the effort of breaking free of my introvert lifestyle.

And it’s kind of frustrating because in a way I have all these dreams and aspirations to do more and I think my introverted personality along with sheer laziness just keep me in this boring middle ground of wanting more but not really wanting to do more. I wrote a post about it and was reminded of the yes theory by sparkle in my eye.

So now I’m saying yes (within reason). I said yes to a trip to Orlando where 90% of my time would be alone time in a strange place and traveling back home alone which I get very nervous about. I said yes to a whole lot of Instagram collaborations that required a lot of time and forced me to create a calendar and execute. I said yes to my first blogger event that I dragged my friend to because I was wayyyy too nervous to go alone. I said yes to talking in my Instagram stories and showing my face in a real way. I said yes to a new gym to help boost my fitness morale. I said yes to booking up my first two weekends in April even though back to back plans usually stress me out.

All these things I said yes to don’t seem like huge steps, but they are the steps that are going to get me back into the direction of doing more things that I love. And I’m going to say yes to more things. I made my spring bucket list longer than all of my other lists because I really want to push myself to do the things I love but am too apathetic. I’ve settled in a place I don’t want to be, so it’s time to motivate and move forward.

What’s one thing you’ve said yes to lately?

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Somewhere In Between

I feel pretty weird about this stage of my life. While I know I don’t need to have everything figured out at 24 years old, I do know that there are some things that I should feel more comfortable with.

But everything is very up and down at the moment. I just moved into a new place, so where I live will be a constant for probably the next two years. Therefore, I really don’t have any big life changes coming down the road – and I kind of thrive on change. I don’t plan on moving, don’t plan on changing jobs, don’t plan on making any relationship steps. Which is all fine, but the lack of change makes me uneasy.

And I feel like I should be more comfortable with my friends, the way I spend my time, the way I look. But I just can’t find a balance.

My friends all have their friends and they all live more than an hour away making pretty much everything hard. I’m tired after work so I don’t really do anything exciting – probably the only thing worth mentioning is my blog but that has become so integrated into my life. And I can’t get past any fitness plateaus, I’m so stagnant.

But what do I do? Join a club at 24 years old? I’ve never been an outgoing person and just the thought of trying to make new friends makes me want to hide under the covers. Do I just accept I’m at a weird transitional part of my life and that the puzzle pieces will fall into place soon? Because so far I’ve learned when you expect things to get easier, they don’t.

Being 24 is weird.

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Friendships in Your 20’s

One thing no one prepared me for was how different friendships become after you leave college. In college, you live with your best friends. You eat with them, go everywhere with them, you rely on them like family. Then *poof* graduation comes and you all have to separate.

It’s hard to get on the same schedule after that. It’s hard to see each other, make commitments to each other, and stay in touch. It’s hard to keep that family type of feeling alive because you’re relying on other people now.

It kind of feels like things start to fall apart because you were so used to knowing everything about someone and now you only get to see them once a month. Friend dynamics change. You make new ones, old ones fall off the map, and some friendships start to take priority over others.

Effort is required on both ends to keep a friendship going and it’s frustrating when you don’t live near each other and more effort is being put in on one side and none on the other. I think friendships in your 20’s means sometimes we just have friends who are there for a good time, not the hard times. And we can’t put all our care into those friendships anymore.

It’s fine to keep those people around for the good times, but we can’t get upset when they don’t reciprocate the care we show. Then there truly are friends who are in it for the long haul. Friends who you only see once every 3 months, only text once a month, who you can still turn to at the end of a long day even though it feels like you’ve been strangers for a while.

Friendships in your 20’s is all about putting yourself and those who care first and leaving the rest as a secondary thought. We’re growing up, we can’t put all our time and energy into people who don’t do the same for us. It’s sad, but it’s time to move on.

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Do People Change?

I often see the worst in people. So when someone tells me they will change, I barely believe them. This is partly because I don’t want to be disappointed and partly because most of the time, they don’t change.

I think there are the parts of us that make us who we are and those are the parts no one should ever ask you to change. Whether it be your friends, a significant other, or family. They can’t ask you to change, but they shouldn’t be forced to deal with something they don’t like. So you can try to change for your significant other or you can let the relationship go.

If you’re asking someone to change and they’re unwilling or can’t see why they need to change, then it will never happen. You’re putting all your eggs in a basket that’s ready to fall apart.

If they can see the change that needs to be made, they may have a greater chance at actually making that change. But most of the time, relationship problems come from the core of someone. It comes from a part of their personality that has been there for years, something that is deep rooted. Can people really change those parts of themselves?

It all depends on your want or need to change and the recognition of the problem. I’m sure people can change, I just rarely see it.

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