Dealing With Disappointment

People are going to disappoint you in life, it’s just going to happen. They’re going to lie to you, lead you on, put in less effort, hurt you, or pretend to be someone they’re not.

You’re going to disappoint yourself in life, it’s just going to happen. You’re going to make the wrong decision, you’re not going to speak out when you should, you’re going to lie or hurt someone or be someone you’re not.

The only way to deal with it is to analyze the situation and decide whether it deserves your forgiveness or not. Because not everyone will. And dropping them from your life might be hard, but necessary. And some people do deserve your forgiveness. It might be hard to give it to them. It might be hard to forgive yourself.

The hard times in life end up being the times where decisions are made that can better your life. When someone disappoints you, only weigh your feelings on the matter. No one can tell you or convince you how to feel. Then take those feelings and make the best decision for yourself.

Disappointment hurts, there’s no way around it. But in these time, put yourself first and be a little selfish. You’re the one who hurts, so you are allowed to decide how to make yourself feel better.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/babyowls/

Love Yourself This Valentine’s Day

A lot of us have bitter feelings towards Valentine’s Day. For most of my life, I didn’t. Even when I didn’t have a boyfriend I still liked the hearts and fluff of the holiday. One year I was bitter and all it did was make me more miserable of a person than I already was.

Because in the end, it’s just a day. But if you want to look closely at it, it’s a day to remind ourselves to love. If you don’t have a significant other to express that love to – it’s okay! You can love your friends, you can love your family, and you can love yourself.

In my single years I’d buy presents for me also very single friends just to see them cheer up a little. And my mom would send me a little gift card to show her love. But I often neglected to look at the holiday as a time to give a gift to myself to show my love.

Self love is so hard. And to think about it all the time is just an exhausting competition with your inevitable self hate. But if you’re going to pick yourself apart all the time, at least use Valentine’s Day as the one day you’re not going to do that.

Whether you’re single or in a relationship or in between, love yourself this Valentine’s Day. Put on some lipstick or throw on an extra nice shirt for work. Tell yourself that you look good – because you do! Buy yourself a nice dinner or get yourself a little gift. That one present for yourself that you’ve been putting off for so long.

It’s a day of love, there’s no need to resent it. You have love all around you and all up in you – so express it!

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/barnimages/

Why We Forget To Take Care Of Ourselves

We often stop and think to ourselves about how stressed out we are. How tired we are. How we could just use a day off.

But we never really stop and think that we need all of those things because we’ve stopped taking care of ourselves. We just think that it’s been a busy week, or a lot has been going on at work, or you’ve been fighting with your friends this week. But it will all pass.

The truth is, it won’t pass unless you realize that you’ve completely forgotten about your own self care. All of your current emotions are linked to things in your life such as work, school, relationships. But how are you feeling? Have you taken care of you?

We forget to take care of ourselves because there’s so much going on in the world. And we are just a small piece of it. We think all of these outside things make up who we are, that if we take care of those things then everything will fall into place. But if you don’t take care of your mind or your body or your soul – then you can’t take care of work, or friends, or family, or school either.

We forget to take care of ourselves because we are so busy looking after other people. But how can you be there for someone if you aren’t even there for yourself?

Be grateful and be there for people. Most importantly, though, be grateful for who you are and take care of yourself. If you’re stressed, or tired, or need a day off. Recognize those things as a  need to take care of yourself more, not just something that’s going to pass over time. Don’t live your life thinking everything is temporary, you need to be mindful of your current state and where you will be going from here. Take care of yourself.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/streetmatt/

5 Ways You’re Dating Wrong

  1. You’re ignoring your standards.
    You’ve been single for so long that you feel like you don’t have the right to be picky anymore. But if you’re going to be picky about anything, it should probably be about someone you’re spending all your time with. Don’t date someone just because you can.
  2. You aren’t open to all of the methods of dating.
    Getting set up, blind dates, online dating, the old fashioned way – each way of dating isn’t for everyone. But you at least need to give it a shot if you’re going to figure out what works and what doesn’t.
  3. You want to put a label on everything.
    You don’t need to be monogamous after the first date. You can casually date more than one person at one time, you can wait weeks or months to decide if you want to be in a committed relationship.
  4. You’re not taking advice from others.
    Almost every relationship falls into the same pattern, there are definitely people going through what you’re going through. Reach out to them and actually listen to their advice to avoid making the same mistakes they did.
  5. You’re just not ready.
    I don’t care if it’s been two months or two years since your last relationship – you might just not be ready. And that’s okay! Accept your life for what it is now and the rest will follow.
hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/arslan/

Why I’m Obsessed With Social Media

I’m 23 years old and basically grew up with social media and have been obsessed with it since I discovered it.

It initially started with AIM Messenger where you could chat with your friends online at any time. As a pretty awkward and introverted person, this allowed me to make friends at a young age.

Xanga was like the beginning of WordPress, I tried to blog a bunch of times when I was younger (around 12 years old), but it just wasn’t a thing back then.

Then Myspace rolled around and I started to capitalize on that, making friends on the internet to add on to the dwindling amount of friends I had in real life. I learned html to make my layouts and profile, I blogged, I added strangers and became friends with them. It sounds a little creepy, but it’s almost the same as following people you don’t know on Instagram or replying to comments on WordPress. I’m still friends with someone I’ve never technically met, but met through Myspace.

I dove into Twitter and Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. WordPress became a big part of my life. I realized I wanted to make a career out of social media because I was good at it. And I think a lot of people think that just because you use Facebook means that you are good at social media, but it’s not necessarily true.

I began building myself and my brand through social media. It took time and is still taking time. I think one of the biggest things people see when looking at someone who is obsessed with social media is that they are faking their lives through an internet platform.

But I’m obsessed with social media because my life is so great in real life and on the internet. I can project all of the fun things I do and goals I accomplish in real life onto my social media platforms.

I’m obsessed with social media because it connects me with like minded people. Because they read my blog and they’re having problems dating, too. Because they saw my Instagram of my trip to Nashville and they’ve been there, too.

I’m obsessed with social media because I’m obsessed with my world and social media opens up the door to a whole other world to enjoy. I’m not faking anything (except a little bit more confidence in my internet life). I love social media because I love my life.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/carmenjost/

Long Distance Friendships With The Airtime App!

Ever since I graduated college, it seems like my friends are always so far away. When I basically lived in the same room as them for two years – it’s hard to make the adjustment to seeing them only once a month as opposed to once an hour.

I recently discovered an app called Airtime that helps to ease the distance between friends. Unlike Facetime, you can video chat with multiple friends at a time on Airtime. You can also sync up a playlist! Anyone who knows me knows I love my music and I love the pregame before the party. Now, even if I’m not in the same area or going to the same party as my friends, we can video chat and pregame and listen to the same music!

My current playlist includes:

  1. Drops of Jupiter by Train
  2. White Houses by Vanessa Carlton
  3. Wannabe by The Spice Girls
  4. Come On from the Josie and the Pussycats Soundtrack
  5. Hit Me Baby One More Time by Britney Spears
  6. Blister in the Sun by the Violent Femmes
  7. (Cover) Wrecking Ball by Our Last Night
  8. Sk8r Boi by Avril Lavigne
  9. (Cover) Boys of Summer by The Ataris
  10. The Rock Show by Blink 182

I LOVE throwbacks and I especially love jamming out to them with my friends! Let me know in the comments your favorite girl’s night out songs!

hc

How To Reconnect With Old Friends

Losing friends is a part of life. With any relationship, sometimes people just get distanced from each other. They fight, they grow apart, they move, they let something get in the way.

But just because you lose touch for a little while doesn’t mean you’re meant to stay apart forever. We all have some friends that we left in the past because they were just not good for us. But we all also have friends we left in the past that need to be brought into the present.

It’s not easy to reach out to people you’ve lost touch with. So much time has passed, it seems a little awkward to ask someone how they’ve been doing for the last five years. But you had a great friendship before and there’s no reason to not have it again.

You have to forgive anything that may have happened in the past. Whether it be a fight, or they stopped keeping in contact with you no matter how hard you tried, or you just haven’t made the time to see them in 10 years. You have to forgive it all. If you’re willing to rekindle the friendship, any bad blood from the past needs to be obsolete.

And you need to be open. Your friends have grown into different people just as you have. Deep down we still have parts of us that stay the same, but those are the parts you just don’t give away to people. You have to be open to the new person your friend has become.

Lastly, you need to be patient. Friendships don’t grow overnight. It’s been so long that this friendship is basically starting from the beginning. You aren’t going to hang out every day and be best buds right away. It takes time, just like it did the first time around.

It is totally worth it to reconnect with old friends who are worth your time. Don’t waste your time on the ones who weren’t really good friends, but do spend the time with the ones who have always cared. Don’t be afraid to reach out, the special people in your life are hard to come by.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/47476117@N04/