Moving Won’t Solve Your Problems

Ever since high school I would talk about how I was going to get out of here. It started with wanting to go to Canada, to wanting to go to college in Ireland, to getting accepted to all the schools I applied for in North Carolina.

I ultimately stayed in New Jersey because of my boyfriend at the time. And although that relationship didn’t work out, it was the best decision I could have made. I was close to my family and made amazing friends.

But once I got around to graduating college, I swore I wasn’t going to move home. I was looking at jobs in Arkansas and Pennsylvania – while applying to safety jobs in New Jersey. But I ended up getting a job in New Jersey, a mere 30 minutes from my hometown. I moved home and I don’t regret it. I still see my friends a decent amount, I save a lot of money, and I’ve been learning a lot about myself.

A lot of people want to get out of town just to run away from their problems. No friends? I’ll make better ones in a different state. Bad job? I’ll find a better one somewhere else. Bored and lazy? My life is clearly waiting for me somewhere else.

But that’s not true. If you have problems weighing down on you and choose to solve those problems by moving – it probably won’t work. It’s one thing to be moving for better opportunities and a change of scenery, but anything that’s causing a chip on your shoulder will only deepen with distance.

If you’re planning on moving you need to tie up your loose ends. Say see ya later to your good friends and a solid goodbye to the people in your life who aren’t contributing anything. Don’t say anything to the people who are bringing you down, just leave them. And don’t blame where you’re living for your bad job and boring life. You’re choosing not to make the best of where you are and no matter where you are that will always be the case.

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photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/wnaprod/

Why I Don’t Care

I know how to make decisions.  I know how to end things when they are going badly and I know how to determine what is making me happy and what is not.

Sometimes, though, those decisions are made and some time will pass. That “goodbye” gets twisted up into a bunch of nostalgic feelings that make me want to say “hello” again.  I’ll dip my toes back in the pool, only to get a harsh and cold reminder as to why I left in the first place.

I get moments of caring, but for the most part I don’t care anymore.

The reasoning behind not caring about past relationships falls on the fact that I was either hurt by someone else or I realized I was hurting myself too much or hurting someone else.  It makes it easy to let go of things when they cause more pain than love.

When I see your pictures, even though I miss you, I just feel disgust.  When I think of our time together, even though it was fun, I only feel embarrassment. When I see your friends out and about, even though we used to be friends too, I only feel shame. When I think about rekindling an old flame, I only feel pain – and that’s why I don’t care.

I don’t care if you have a new girlfriend or if you’re having more fun without me.  I don’t care if you cheated on me or said awful things about me.  I don’t care if you yelled at me or I screamed at you. I don’t care because it’s easier not to care than to feel heartbreak all over again.

photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/henrie/
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/henrie/

Saying Goodbye

Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/deanaia/
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/deanaia/

It’s always a little sad when you’re leaving what you’re used to in order to move on to better things. I graduate tomorrow, and as sad as I am that I won’t be living with my best friends anymore and that I’m losing the ability to freely sleep until 2 p.m., there are plenty of things I am happy to say goodbye to. Simply because, it’s just time to let go.

I don’t like to say goodbye more than once. If I’m ending something, I mean it.  Even if I end up regretting the decision and I go back to a relationship or friendship I’ve ended – it’ll always inevitably end in another goodbye.

It’s time to let go of bad blood, of things that have been holding you back, of things that negatively affect your mind. Graduation may be considered a new chapter, but I don’t intend on writing about the same characters anymore.  I definitely won’t be repeating any plots.

I’m saying goodbye to the boys that I subtweeted because they annoyed me at the bar, with their Instagrams of other girls, with their constant need to have their problems come before mine.

I’m saying goodbye to the mornings I woke up feeling like death and regretting acting like a drunken fool the night before. It was fun for a short while, but that time is up.

I’m saying goodbye to the friends that caused more worries than laughter. The ones that were never really your friend, but were a good time to have around nonetheless.

And I’m saying hello to all of the new opportunities ahead and all of the new people I have yet to meet!