Stepping Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Sometimes the only way to do the things that need to get done to be happy is by stepping out of your comfort zone. And I don’t think we often think about that as a way to happiness. Because I know for me, stepping out of my comfort zone gives me anxiety and makes me feel absolutely horrible. But the reward for doing so could be the happiness I’m missing.

There are so many things that we don’t do, but kind of want to do, because it doesn’t feel comfortable to us. We don’t go places alone, we don’t try new foods, we don’t go new places. Because we’re afraid of being alone, uneasy about eating something weird, and scared of being somewhere unfamiliar.

But if you have no one to go with to see your favorite band, will you go alone or not go at all? Are you missing out on something that will potentially be fun, your new favorite place, your new favorite food, or hobby?

Even if it’s a little painful, sometimes we have to take the risks to get the reward. Sometimes you have to force and claw your way out of your comfort zone, because you might find happiness there.

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Accepting The Past

I feel like I have been through so many versions of myself. I was once shy, cold, and moody in high school. I was a push-over and boyfriend obsessed my first half of college. I was reckless and couldn’t be caught when I graduated college. And now I am settled, finding new parts of myself, and trying to fit in the old parts.

But the old parts make me cringe. Parts of my life that I used to be so fond of now seem so embarrassing. I have a hard time accepting my past, so I try to just repress the memories. Some of them were good, some were bad, but my over-thinking self really only remembers the times when I felt the worst.

Accepting the past is hard because dwelling on mistakes is easy. Even though I’ve moved on in life and those experiences got me to where I was, I still kind of wish they never happened.

I drank too much sometimes, kissed the wrong guys in the wrong places at the wrong time. I turned down opportunities to make other people happy. I held on to friends who were never good to me. And it all still hurts like fresh wounds when I let the thoughts creep back.

How do I accept the past when the bad times simply blind me? I want to enjoy the life I’ve lived, not regret it.

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I Don’t Understand Satisfied People

I always want change. I want to go places, do things and keep the ball rolling. I want to know a majority of what life has to offer. I don’t want to settle down, the thought of getting married and buying a house and dedicating myself to one thing for a long time is simply terrifying,

And I don’t understand people who are just satisfied. People who have a couple of kids, buy a house, and intend to stay there for 20 years. People who work at the same job their whole life. People who don’t use up their PTO or use it to go to the same place they’ve been 100 times before.

In a way, I wish I could be satisfied. I’m sure it’s easier when it comes to decision making and just in general finding happiness. But I just don’t understand people who settle down and don’t see any problem with it. Do they not get jealous of the people who are all over the world, the people who aren’t tied down?

I could just get back from an awesome trip and scroll through my Instagram feed and get antsy all over again. I just want more and while I’m happy for anyone who is happy, I just don’t get satisfied people.

hc
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When Is It Okay To Be Selfish?

When I was single, I decided that I was tired of being screwed over by putting other people first and getting nothing back. I decided that I needed to find my happiness alone and it wasn’t fair when people tried to get in the way and hinder that happiness. I decided to be selfish.

And it worked out so well for me. I became a healthier and happier person and didn’t let anyone get in my way. It was a couple of the best years of my life.

But now that I’m in a relationship, it doesn’t seem okay to be selfish anymore. Because when you care about someone, you want to do what you can for them and sometimes that means sacrificing things for yourself. But is that okay?

Or can we still be a little selfish. In the end, should we always put ourselves first? I feel like we should because when it comes down to it all, all we really have that is 100% guaranteed is ourselves. But then we feel bad for being this way. And how can you even be selfish when all you feel is guilty?

When you’re in a relationship, is it still okay to be as selfish as you were when you were single or should you really sacrifice some of your happiness for someone else’s?

hc
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It’s Okay To Be Sad

I think there is a lot of pressure to be happy. When you work somewhere, when you’re out with your friends, when you’re in a relationship…everyone assumes that because of where you are, you should be happy.

But that’s really not always the case and it’s not always because of the people around you. You might be sad. And it’s not because you don’t have a great job, boyfriend/girlfriend, friends or family. It’s just because at this moment in time you don’t feel all that happy, and that’s okay.

It’s hard to admit you’re just sad especially when you can’t pinpoint the reasoning behind it. Then people don’t understand, they blame themselves and they blame you. But sometimes life gets stagnant, sometimes you didn’t sleep that well for a week, sometimes you feel a little lost and all of that builds up to a sadness that isn’t anyone’s fault.

And the more we deny what we’re feeling, the more we convince ourselves that we should be happy so we are happy, the more sad we actually get.

It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to tell people you feel sad. No one is 100% all of the time and I can almost guarantee the moment you admit your feelings will be the moment that a lot of things come into perspective A step out of feeling sad.

It’s a lot of pressure, life. Everyone’s always trying to one-up each other in their woes and tragedies. But no matter what your situation, whether it be life and death or a flat tire. It’s okay to be sad, stressed, and overwhelmed.

hc
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How Hopeless I Felt When I Was Single

I’m not sure why being single seems like it’s the end of the world. I guess no matter how hard I looked at it, no one looked as happy when they were single as they did when they were in a relationship.

There was a good chunk of time for me when being single was like torture. There was also a time where I held onto it real tight, avoiding every relationship possible.

But I never really stopped feeling hopeless. When I was happy being single, I still got lonely. My friends all were in relationships and when they were off doing their boyfriend/girlfriend thing, I was alone. It taught me to be by myself, but it made me think I would always be by myself. When I started to become comfortable alone and do well by myself, I felt even more hopeless that I would never find what my friends had. That I would never find what I was reading about in books or binge watching on Netflix.

And when I was sad being single, I was more than hopeless. I felt that I was hard to love. There had been a time where I had given the boy I loved everything. But then I felt like I had nothing left to give.

It’s normal to feel hopeless when you’re single, whether you’re happy or sad. But even when you give up on yourself, the person that’s right for you won’t be giving up at all. It takes time, patience, and a lot of learning. But you’re not hopeless.

hc
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Finding Your Way Back To Happiness

Happiness is a funny thing because you don’t really know you have it until it’s gone. And you don’t really notice it missing right away. You slowly slip into this funk that you think will fade until you wake up one day and realize you’ve been indifferent about life for over a year.

Then when you find it again, it’s  like waking up on the right side of the bed finally. Like you got the sleep out of your eyes and are ready to take on the world.

But if you’re not careful, you’ll start to slip again. It happens to everyone, we can’t all be happy 100% of the time. And it’s gradual again, you don’t even know the happiness is gone until you look in the mirror one day and hate everything about yourself. It’s like getting into bed and realizing you never want to get out and face the world.

So how do you find your way back?

You’ve been there before, you just need to retrace your steps. It’s the effort to do so that will really set you back. I was sad for years, it took so much work to feel good again…why can’t I just lay in bed?

And you can’t half-ass it at all. Great, you’ve got one thing going in the right direction. But that one thing can’t pull you all the way up. You have to try harder, you have to force yourself to the happiness you’re craving, but just can’t seem to find the energy to grasp.

Finding happiness isn’t easy just as slipping into sadness wasn’t easy. Sure, it may feel like it’s so much easier to fall down than get up. But think about the things that got you to sad, they are far less fun than the things that get you to happy.

Retrace your steps and put in the work, happiness is just around the corner.

hc
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