Finding Your Way Back To Happiness

Happiness is a funny thing because you don’t really know you have it until it’s gone. And you don’t really notice it missing right away. You slowly slip into this funk that you think will fade until you wake up one day and realize you’ve been indifferent about life for over a year.

Then when you find it again, it’s  like waking up on the right side of the bed finally. Like you got the sleep out of your eyes and are ready to take on the world.

But if you’re not careful, you’ll start to slip again. It happens to everyone, we can’t all be happy 100% of the time. And it’s gradual again, you don’t even know the happiness is gone until you look in the mirror one day and hate everything about yourself. It’s like getting into bed and realizing you never want to get out and face the world.

So how do you find your way back?

You’ve been there before, you just need to retrace your steps. It’s the effort to do so that will really set you back. I was sad for years, it took so much work to feel good again…why can’t I just lay in bed?

And you can’t half-ass it at all. Great, you’ve got one thing going in the right direction. But that one thing can’t pull you all the way up. You have to try harder, you have to force yourself to the happiness you’re craving, but just can’t seem to find the energy to grasp.

Finding happiness isn’t easy just as slipping into sadness wasn’t easy. Sure, it may feel like it’s so much easier to fall down than get up. But think about the things that got you to sad, they are far less fun than the things that get you to happy.

Retrace your steps and put in the work, happiness is just around the corner.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/bennyseidelman/

Why It’s Hard To Recognize Unhappiness

You’d think recognizing your own emotions would be easy, but it’s not for many reasons. We often put other people’s emotions before our own, we get blinded by more dominant emotions, or we’ve just learned to ignore them.

It’s hard to recognize unhappiness because we’re trying so hard to be happy. To admit unhappiness is admitting that you failed at being happy. That your relationship is dead. That your job is a dud. That your life isn’t going the way you planned.

Because of this, many people live unhappy lives and they don’t know it. In this case, ignorance is bliss. But if you ever wriggle out of that unhappy situation, you’ll realize how much time you’ve wasted not being truly happy.

It’s hard to recognize unhappiness unless you are truly in tune with your self. If you actually take time to analyze your emotions and take time for self care.

Take a look at your life, write down the way you feel and recognize your happiness or unhappiness. It’ll help you in the long run.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/of_guido/

I’m Really Not Sorry

There is a point in everyone’s life where it’s okay to be a little selfish. You still need to care about the important people in your life – your good friends, good family, good coworkers. But you also need to remember that the most important person in your life really is you.

If you can’t take care of yourself, how do you expect to take care of other people? Your mental health, physical health, and happiness are necessary for you as well as the other people around you.

But it’s honestly very easy to put other people first. They just become such a huge part of your life that you forget about yourself all together. You work so hard to make them happy, so hard to improve their lives. But this is destructive to yourself.

I spent so much of my life trying to fit in, trying to please boyfriends and family and friends who weren’t thinking about my best interest at the time.

And now I just don’t care – if you’re not building me up then you’re nothing at all. And if my actions aren’t pleasing you, make me an oddball, make me unattractive to you – I really don’t care and I’m really not sorry.

I’m unapologetic because I spent so much of my life apologizing. Apologizing to people and for things that just didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

Sorry I’m not sorry I wasn’t the girlfriend you wanted me to be. Sorry I’m not sorry I wasn’t supportive of your bad habits. Sorry I’m not sorry I didn’t let you walk all over me anymore. And sorry I’m not sorry I’m doing what I need to do to be happy.

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You’re The Only One Who Can Make You Happy

At one point in our lives, we all experience sadness. Sometimes we know why, the reason is obvious. Someone died, we lost our jobs, everything is going to hell piece by piece. Sometimes we don’t know why, we’re just sad. When we do know and when we don’t, it’s hard to get out of that sadness. It’s really difficult to climb out of that hole.

We can’t find the answers in ourselves so we look for them in other people. We reach out for helping hands, but often times we put way too much weight on them. We take all of the weight off ourselves and lose sense of who we are. All we can remember is the sadness inside, so we look for happiness in other people.

Yeah, other people can help you. Friends can motivate you, family can support you, a relationship can take some of the pressure off your back. But you are the only person who can make you truly happy.

It’s natural to want to push some of the worries onto someone else. But when you’re alone again, you’re going to end up right back where you started. You are in charge of your own happiness, no one else.

So don’t blame your friends. Don’t lean on your boyfriend for everything. Don’t yell at your family. Appreciate their help and help yourself. Step by step, you can bring yourself to a happier place. It can be a slow process. It can take months and it can take years. And it’s painful and hard, but that’s why you have people to support you while you find your own happiness. They’ll help you get to the point where you can recover from the sadness all on your own.

You can do it. Look inside yourself and you’ll see what you need to change, what’s missing, and what you need to add to get back on track. You will be happier when you get to the top of the mountain and realize you’re happy and you did it all on your own.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/44405193@N03/

Good Comes From The Bad

Doesn’t it always feel like everything just goes to hell the moment you thought everything was fine? Like you can’t enjoy a perfect moment because it will most likely be ruined. You can’t enjoy the good because the bad is inevitable. Admitting you’re happy will bring sadness so you try to keep the thought suppressed so you don’t jinx it.

I guess the upside of that is once you hit rock bottom, you can only go up. Sure, the yo-yoing of emotions is exhausting. But it’s reassuring to know things really can’t get any worse. It makes the happier moments easier to enjoy – even if you are afraid that it will be ripped away at any moment.

The thing is, you can’t be afraid. You can’t live your life in fear that if you become happy then everything will go straight to hell again. How are you ever going to build back up to that good place if you can’t let go of the bad?

You have to keep moving forward. Bad doesn’t always come from the good. It’s just easier to recognize when you’re unhappy rather than when you’re content. Good does always come from the bad. It stops raining and the sun starts shining eventually. Sometimes it will take longer than others, sometimes it feels like it has been raining your whole life.

But it’s not true. Focus on the good things, no matter how little they are. And in your darkest moments, remember that there is a bright one not too far away.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/126089961@N03/

5 Things That Make Me A Happier Person

As far as we know, the key to happiness has not yet been found. All we can really go off of is what generally makes us happier and betters our lives. I have found that these five things can make a world of difference when trying to improve your mood. These might not seem like the most ground-breaking discoveries, but you’d be surprised how much you neglect very basic necessities to being happy.

1.Downloading new music regularly

I let my playlists grow really old, but recently I realized the power of listening to new music or throw backs you haven’t heard in forever. Updating your playlists once a month will give you something fun to commute to work to or get ready to!

2. Exercise and eating right

I wouldn’t say I’m a huge fan of exercising and eating healthy, I don’t do either too well. But the important part is to give it a shot, do something that will improve your quality of life a little. Don’t ignore the cupcake when you want to eat a cupcake – but also don’t eat a whole tub of ice cream in one sitting.

3. Hanging out with friends and family

It seems obvious, I know. But I think one of the main components to being unhappy is loneliness. So when you feel some sadness sneaking in, make plans with your friends or family to have something to look forward to. If you feel you don’t have a lot of friends or family to go to, then go run errands or to the gym and strike up a conversation with someone. You’re not alone and you don’t need to feel that way.

4. Writing it all down

As a writer, I clearly believe in the strong power of writing. Get a journal, start a note in your phone, create a blog, and just start writing things down. Things that make you sad or happy, things that you want to do with your life. Writing down your goals will especially give you a better chance of accomplishing them. When everything is laid out in front of you, it makes your problems and the solutions to those problems clearer.

5. Picking up new hobbies

I think having a hobby is now a thing of the past. When I was younger, people would ask me my hobbies and I’d be like ???? watching tv??? Going to work and school??? But now I’ve picked up knitting and crocheting (I know, I’m a grandma) and I started reading more again, as well as writing. Whether it be a sport, yoga, playing an instrument, learning to paint, or knit: picking up something new and accomplishing it will give you a sense of direction and give you something to do in your spare time.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/lentzstudios/

Finding Happiness After Losing It

Sometimes, we just get lost. One incident can send you into a downward spiral, a hole you just can’t climb out of.

It can be caused by the death of someone close. Or the death of a stranger. It can be caused by a change of pace, something differing in your life. Bad grades. Bad friends. A broken heart.

And you never really anticipated just how much it would hurt and just how much it would impact your life. You thought you were strong and even if you didn’t, you thought you could at least get through some things on your own. Until you’ve gone years with an empty feeling still inside you, nights spent waiting up for something that will never happen, hollow laughs and smiles.

You start to wonder if this is just how life is. If this is how the rest of your life is going to go. Ghosting and living life as a shell, never feeling whole again. Maybe feeling sad is normal for me.

But it gets better.

And one day you’ll wake up and get out of bed without a fight. You’ll go to work and laugh along with your coworkers. You’ll spend your weekends genuinely interested in being with your friends. You’ll fall asleep with a smile on your face.

And you will do it all on your own.

You grabbed the shovel and dug yourself deep into a hole of sadness, but that just means you have the tools to get yourself out. You don’t need anyone’s helping hands, although they are appreciated.

It doesn’t happen all at once, it takes time. And it’s a slow and painful process – but one day you’ll wake up and realize that this is really how life is supposed to be. This is happiness.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/mateusd/