Why I Deleted My Facebook

When the first Facebook breach happened and everyone was freaking out about their information being given away without them knowing, I stopped and thought how did people not know that their information was being stolen? It’s almost like something I’ve grown up with, just giving my privacy away to social media so people can target me for advertisements and know my likes and dislikes.

There was another breach more recently that actually made me stop and think, why does Facebook need to know so much about me in the first place? I had my Facebook for 11 years – since I was 14 years old! I started looking back at posts from that time and cringed. We were so unaware and just blatantly put all of our photos, conversations, and information out on social media. We didn’t even try to hide it, it didn’t even need to be stolen.

Mass deleting on Facebook is basically impossible. And I couldn’t control any of the things I had written on other people’s walls when I was young. Like talking about getting “drunk” when I was 16 and asking people for answers to like every homework assignment ever. So I decided to delete it.

My Facebook had over 800 friends, it had thousands of photos. My phone number and birthday were attached to it. My high school, college, and every place I ever worked were listed. Why did I feel like I needed to divulge all of that information?

I didn’t delete it for good –  I need Facebook for work and for this blog. But I made a new one with wayyyy less info. A misspelling of my name, a fudged birthday, no location information, no phone number. And now less than 200 friends.

I thought I would regret it, most of my life has revolved around social media. But I hadn’t realized it got to the point where I didn’t even know why I was sharing this info with 800 people – half of whom I probably don’t even know!

Any personal social media of mine – meaning not for my blog or work – is now as private as I can make it be. And I like it that way, I urge everyone to take a hard look at what they’ve put out on the internet. I’d like to think that we still have time to fix the mistakes we made.

women typing on the notebook
Photo by Kaboompics .com on Pexels.com

The Internet Is Making Us Lonely

Likes, favorites, retweets, comments, and all those weird emotion things Facebook just added.

We live for instant gratification. It’s not because we’re selfish, it’s because of the Internet. It’s because we not only have to look great in person but we also have to look great online. There is more than one impression to make and you never know when you are going to have to make it. You know when you’re going out to a bar to meet up with all your friends and look for cute guys. But, you never know when someone’s going to request you as a friend on Facebook or follow you on Insta. You could make a great first impression in person, but might totally bomb when your first impression online is break up quotes and pictures of wine.

It always looks like everyone else is having so much fun. They add all of their vacation pictures to an album for the world to see. They Instagram the amazing brunch they’re having that Saturday morning. They’re tweeting about the great party they want to. And you’re in your bed eating ice cream and talking to your dog, throwing out likes to everyone and wishing you were invited.

You can see all your friends and all of your “friends” having a life without you. Even when you do go out and have fun, it’s not gratifying because there’s always someone else doing something else. Someone who has more likes on their picture or chose a better filter.

The Internet is a lonely place. Everyone’s searching for instant gratification but no one is willing to reach out.

No matter how many followers I have, I still get lonely. The Internet doesn’t offer you a true “good job” and pat on the back when you get a promotion. The Internet doesn’t offer you sincere condolences and a hug when someone dies. The Internet doesn’t cry from laughing at your jokes or binge eat pizza with you when you’re sad. But still we avoid people and face to face interaction. We still flock to the Internet to show everyone how happy we are when we are, in fact, completely lonely.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/cvitnu/

Relationships Through The Eyes Of Social Media

photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/rishibando/
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/rishibando/

Social media is a place where we constantly see new relationships forming. Brittany is now in a relationship with Bob on Facebook! Look at their kissing pictures on Instagram! Look at them tweet relationship goals at each other on Twitter! Look at her pin date ideas on Pinterest!

I grew up with an obsession with social media.  It started with Myspace where I had like 4,000 friends and all the attention I wasn’t getting in middle school was coming through the internet. From there, I was getting tweets as text messages to my EnV flip phone.  I eventually got to join the Facebook world (which I hated because…Myspace forever). I had a Pinterest, joined Klout, downloaded Snapchat, and Instagram – I immersed myself into the social media culture.

When I got my first boyfriend at 16, all I wanted to do was share it with the social media world.  My boyfriend at the time, being a couple of years older than me, didn’t understand the phenomenon.  He didn’t understand why I would passive aggressively like the comments his ex girlfriend made on his Facebook.  He didn’t understand why I always wanted him to take pictures of me to post on Instagram.  He didn’t understand why he could see my Snapchat best friends and why it mattered if I was his number one.

It was understandable that he thought I was crazy, social media wasn’t his obsession but it was to people my age.

We use our social media to portray the best parts of our lives.  We use it to make us look cool and show everyone from high school we’re doing 100 times better than them. We use it to show our exes we’re hanging out with new, hotter people.  We use it to express our emotions.

From the outside looking in, relationships on social media look perfect.  There are perfectly posed pictures and carefully crafted compliments.

Unless a couple is frustrated with each other, then there are sly subtweets and underlying lyrics.

Social media rips our lives wide open and exposes the guts and gore to the world. Remember the next time you’re stalking someone’s twitter timeline or clicking through their edited pictures, not everyone’s lives are as perfect as they seem behind the computer screen.

I’m not bashing social media – I’m still a huge fan – but there is a life to live outside your iPhone and instead of spending 20 minutes picking a filter for your kissing-in-front-of-a-sunset picture, why don’t you just look up and watch it for yourself?