What You Don’t Know About Overthinkers

A lot of people say they’re an overthinker, kind of like the way people casually and incorrectly say they have OCD. Like you may think a lot, but do you truly know what an overthinker goes through?

I’m pretty introverted and socially awkward – I have not always been this way, but it’s something I was shaped into as I got older. I’m pretty weird and that was all fine and fun when I was young and then as I got older we were all pressured into being “cooler” and that’s when I think I became my most uncomfortable with myself and started overthinking.

So, I can sort of remember what it was like to not worry about absolutely everything and I have something to compare it to.

What you may not know about overthinkers is we think all the time – but all. the. time. I think when I wake up in the morning, my work gets interrupted in the day by overthinking, my dreams even keep me up at night because my brain doesn’t shut off. And this thinking can keep us from actually doing. Because we play out so many scenarios and think things to death so much that it just stops us in our tracks.

For most of my college career I avoided seriously dating because it put my thinking into overload and caused too much stress. I would break off relationships before they even started because of the panic that overthinking would cause to come over me.

When I have too much to do, I think about it all day. I make lists and lists and can’t focus on the impending doom that’s coming my way.

You may look at someone and say, “oh you just think too much!” But it’s not as simple as meditating in the morning and wiping your thoughts away. Actually, I can’t enjoy meditation or yoga because the thoughts STILL creep in. There are worry warts, dramatic people, perfectionists – and then there are overthinkers whose minds actually never turn off.

woman holding red balloon on her face photo inside classroom
Photo by Jure Širić on Pexels.com

Being An Introverted Blogger

When I think “blogger” I think of peppy, well dressed women with perfect hair and perfect lives. I think of people who aren’t afraid to network, talk on their Instagram stories, and go after what they want. I think of people who love making new friends and being surrounded by constant interaction.

Yet, I’m a blogger and none of those things describe me. I don’t think there are a lot of introverted bloggers out there. I don’t have a perfect life (but that’s kind of the purpose of this blog). I don’t like networking and it sounds awful but I don’t like making new friends.

I’ve forced myself out of my comfort zone a lot by being a blogger. In some ways, I think it’s been very helpful. I’ve built up the courage to speak to my audience and I’ve made connections with a lot of people. Even though it makes me uncomfortable, it’s all part of my mission. I just want to help and relate to people and I can’t just write things down and then hole up and not respond to those people I’m trying to reach.

It’s taken me years as a blogger to do things that some people are just naturally good at. When I first started blogging, I was vulnerable on my posts but that was when only 100 people were reading. Now I have to force myself to open up a little more and not care about the consequence. I write about doubting my relationship, job, life, and friends – things everyone in my personal life can read and judge me on. But it helps other people, so I’m going to keep pushing myself to do it.

When I started influencing on my Instagram, I had to first come to terms with the fact that not everyone is going to like my content. I don’t have the same perfection as other bloggers. I just started speaking on my Instagram stories a few months ago and just a few weeks ago I started sharing personal struggles in my Instagram captions. But I see people relate and it keeps me going.

It’s hard to be an introverted blogger – I have to push myself outside my box while still maintaining who I am. I’ve thought about stopping many times before, but it’s helping me better myself and introducing me to such wonderful people. What more could I ask for?

smiling woman holding black smartphone
Photo by mentatdgt on Pexels.com

The Yes Theory

As an introvert, I really struggle to find a happy medium of social and alone time in my life. Mostly because if it were up to me, I’d be alone ALL the time. But that’s not really healthy and there are so many people in my life that I care about enough to put in the effort of breaking free of my introvert lifestyle.

And it’s kind of frustrating because in a way I have all these dreams and aspirations to do more and I think my introverted personality along with sheer laziness just keep me in this boring middle ground of wanting more but not really wanting to do more. I wrote a post about it and was reminded of the yes theory by sparkle in my eye.

So now I’m saying yes (within reason). I said yes to a trip to Orlando where 90% of my time would be alone time in a strange place and traveling back home alone which I get very nervous about. I said yes to a whole lot of Instagram collaborations that required a lot of time and forced me to create a calendar and execute. I said yes to my first blogger event that I dragged my friend to because I was wayyyy too nervous to go alone. I said yes to talking in my Instagram stories and showing my face in a real way. I said yes to a new gym to help boost my fitness morale. I said yes to booking up my first two weekends in April even though back to back plans usually stress me out.

All these things I said yes to don’t seem like huge steps, but they are the steps that are going to get me back into the direction of doing more things that I love. And I’m going to say yes to more things. I made my spring bucket list longer than all of my other lists because I really want to push myself to do the things I love but am too apathetic. I’ve settled in a place I don’t want to be, so it’s time to motivate and move forward.

What’s one thing you’ve said yes to lately?


Single You Vs. You In A Relationship

People often speak of change so negatively.

I can specifically remember multiple conversations throughout middle school, high school, college, and even now where one of my friends looked at me with narrow eyes and said “you’ve changed” with such disgust.

That’s what we do, that’s what growing up is. You change due to your circumstances. If I never changed I’d still be as quiet as a mouse and passive like I was when I was 8. Or I’d still be awkward and uncomfortable, ultimately making me unhappy, like I was when I was 15. Or I’d still be brainwashed and committed like I was when I was 19. Or out of control and depressed like I was when I was 21.

But I’m none of those things now and neither are you – because we change. And one main thing that can change us is relationships.

“Don’t let anyone change you” is the biggest garbage I’ve ever heard. There is always room for improvement, there is always room to grow – don’t let anyone tear you down, but ALWAYS let someone build you up to being the best version of yourself.

So the single version of you may consist of the following: spending a lot of time with friends, ditching out on family, constantly worrying about what’s around the corner. Or being introverted, spending too much time in bed, ignoring responsibilities. Or being extremely motivated, having everything under control, and enjoying happiness.

And the in-a-relationship version of yourself may be the complete opposite of those things. Which can be negative or positive. (If it’s a negative change, you need to evaluate yourself before letting another person into your life.)

There can be more than one version of yourself depending on who you decide to spend your time with. And that’s okay. It’s okay if you’re one way when you’re single and slightly different when you’re in a relationship. Anyone who tells you that’s wrong isn’t supportive of you and is not necessary.

Keep your changes positive and surround yourself with positive people to keep every version of yourself happy.

photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/slimjim/

How An Introvert Flirts

Introvert (noun): Introverts tend to be preoccupied with their own thoughts and feelings and minimize their contact with other people.

It’s not always easy to spot an introvert, because every once in a while they poke their heads from their shells and rejoin society.  They act like going out in a crowd of people is a good time and that they always enjoy outings to the bar or a concert when really they only need social interaction like that once or twice a month.

Introverts date, flirt, converse, etc. differently than most people.

One reason for this is because introverts don’t really mind being alone. They appreciate their own thoughts and pick apart their emotions. If you were to date an introvert, giving them their alone time is key. Of course they want to spend time with you – mostly just chilling on the couch watching a movie or taking a walk in the park alone – but they also need time to digest their own feelings and self.

The way an introvert flirts is entirely different from an extrovert.  Everything is subtle – for instance, an introvert will choose to glance and smile rather than come up to you with a big hello.  They will also choose to get to know you over social media or texting, because it is easier to get comfortable with each other before meeting face to face.  Introverts would LOVE having someone nearby that they are close with on a first date, just to squash any awkwardness.

Eventually, your introvert will not be so introverted at all. They just take more time than the average person to display all of their emotions and thoughts.

photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/carmenjost/
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/carmenjost/

Disclaimer: this is coming from only one perspective from an introvert, may not apply to all people.