Doubting Myself

When I got the position I work in now, I simply told everyone that I was moving to take a new position. That I was staying with my company and doing a little bit more than I was doing before. I didn’t go around saying I got a promotion, I just didn’t see it like that.

It’s funny how much doubt we have in ourselves and how we truly fail to acknowledge our accomplishments. I always feel like I’ve just gotten lucky. But a promotion is a big deal, I should’ve celebrated with champagne and congratulations. I brushed it all off, though, I didn’t take the time to really appreciate my win.

When people took the time to dig a bit about my new job, I would then mention that it was a promotion. I was greeted with fist bumps, congrats, and kind words. Things I didn’t expect at all and things that truly made me feel good. Other people acknowledged my accomplishment, but I still didn’t see it that way because of all of my self doubt.

Writing this, I realize how little worth I apply to myself. How I made the move to New Hampshire alone and started a new job alone that I’m far from failing at. I actually feel at the end of each week I’m doing well, but I don’t do anything to celebrate that.

This weekend, I’m going to go out to dinner. I’m going to celebrate myself and my accomplishments. I’m going to put my doubts aside for a little bit and really recognize how far I’ve come. There aren’t many people who have done what I do at my age and it’s time I start giving myself more love.

photo of a woman thinking
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Moving Out Of State – First Impressions

New Hampshire and I didn’t necessarily get off on the right foot. It can seem kind of glamorous to get up and leave the world behind, start somewhere new. But in reality, it’s very very difficult. And I knew that coming into it and I also didn’t set myself up to be in a situation where I would love it right off the bat.

I immediately jumped into a new job when I got here, a job that is much more demanding and requires me to learn a lot in a short period of time. And my boyfriend isn’t moving up with me until the end of the month which means I’ve had a lot of quiet evenings and quiet weekends.

I’m not really one for making friends and I knew that would be my biggest challenge coming up here. It’s too early for me to knock a place because of that. I’ve piled far too much on my plate (as I always do) so my first impression of moving out of state has not been a great one. Especially because we were dumped with snow which put off my boyfriend’s plans to come visit me.

I miss him and my dog and my lizard. I was well-adjusted to living together, to coming home to someone or something every day. Now it’s very very quiet and my apartment is still filled to the brim with boxes and is just a hot mess honestly. I suck at unpacking. I’m kind of just going through the motions in January, knowing that it will be better here in February.

When people start over somewhere new, they make it seem so adventurous and amazing. So I wanted to share my first impressions with you, as that is not always the case.

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Moving On Professionally

It can be really really hard to decide when your time is up at a job.

I have only worked at two different companies after graduating college, so my experience is limited. But at my first job, I was there 6 months and knew there was no real growth potential there because I was their only marketer on staff and I was making peanuts. There were some other red flags and even fresh out of college I knew it was time to move on.

It’s easy to start applying to jobs, go on a few casual interviews. It’s hard to say goodbye to the people you work with every day, who you eat lunch with every day, people you’ve grown so close with. And it’s hard to turn your back on a place that gave you a job, a great opportunity, and the skills to move forward.

Now I can easily tell when I need to move on when I feel like I’m not being challenged or I am just generally unhappy from day to day. So I give myself two options: 1. Ask for a change or 2. Find a new job. Once you make the decision to move on, you’re faced with the time consuming work of applications and interviews. It can seem daunting, it can even convince you to stay where you are just a little bit longer because of all the time it takes.

But we all do it, we all move on. And your employer really should be happy for you, their goal should have always been to help you grow and if there is no place for you to go with that growth then it should be clear to them you will move on. If your employer isn’t like that, then it should also be clear to them that you won’t be sticking around.

It’s hard to move on professionally, but the risk is so necessary. For your happiness, your health, and your development.

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My Millennial Work Ethic

The stereotypical millennial is lazy, entitled, ruining relationships, and most of the things that were built for us. This stereotype mostly comes from the fact that we do things differently than our parents.

I went to college, got an internship when I graduated, got a job then got a better job. Not exactly what I call lazy. I started paying off my stereotypical millennial student loans and immersed myself into the 9-5 culture.

And it’s not easy for me. It’s not easy to work 5 out of the 7 days a week, to work for most of your life, to make your job your (basically) number one priority. It’s not easy for me to wake up early in the morning then work nonstop until it’s time to go. You don’t go at your own pace, there is a schedule and rules and you are supposed to follow them.

So in some ways, I’m the stereotypical millennial who wants to make their own schedule and work from my bed. Is it realistic? No, but a girl can dream!

Just because we dream, doesn’t mean we’re lazy. And it doesn’t mean all of us have the same dream. I know many people who thrive in a pressured 9-5 environment, but I’m just a stereotypical millennial when it comes to this!

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/149902454@N08/

When Life Gets Busy

I love change in the sense that I don’t like to stay in the same place for too long and am always looking to move forward. I hate change in the sense where things I like and got comfortable with can’t stay that way.

Sometimes, life gets busy and we have less time for each other. Whether it’s friends, family, or significant others. And you want to support people through those busy times, but only if you feel supported in return. Otherwise it gets lonely, otherwise you feel like you’re heaving in effort but getting left in the dust.

Busy seasons are an adjustment. Sometimes they last forever, sometimes it’s just for a couple of weeks. And you have to take that change and roll with it and hope that you can either assimilate or that it will go back to normal soon.

When others get busy and when you get busy, it gets lonely. There’s a lot of pressure on both sides to either be supportive or get everything done that you need to. You might lose people along the way and that’s okay. Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever, not everyone can handle the stress that comes with busy schedules and making time.

When life gets busy it’s not just one aspect, it’s the whole thing. It’s your thoughts running a mile a minute, it’s your work demand, it’s your friends and family and significant other not having time for you. It’s a heavy lift that not all of us are cut out for.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/lattefarsan/

How Do You Know You’re Doing What’s Right?

A lot of the time, I see couples that I never want to end up being like. I can tell they’ve been in it for a while and as time as passed they just grew comfortable enough to never give their relationship up.

And then some of the time, I see couples who got it right. They’re in love and happy 20 years later, they’re with their best friend.

But how do you know what you’re doing is what’s right? Is it just luck that you gave the right person a chance, that you didn’t veer from the course even though you wanted to? I don’t understand how people know if they should stick with something or see what else is out there.

Especially now, in a time where options are everywhere. And it’s not just relationships. It’s jobs, it’s where you live, it’s what dog you adopt, it’s anything that you have choosing power over. How do you know that this job will be the best one you ever have? What if you quit for something that seems like a better opportunity, but actually ends up being a dud?

There are pages and pages of job opportunities. There are states and countries we are free to move to at any time. There are dating apps and social media and a frenzy of people at your finger tips. Something may feel right right now, but how do you commit to something when you don’t know what it will feel like in 6 months, a year, 10 years?

So how do you know what you’re doing right now is what’s right? How do you choose to stick with it when there are endless possibilities in the world?

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/lukasbenc/

10 Life Tips That I Almost Never Follow

  1. Overthinking won’t help the situation.
    I can calm my hectic brain by coloring, journaling, cleaning, etc. But I always let overthinking get the best of me.
  2. Always take your PTO as much as possible.
    Take it and use it for something fun. Unfortunately, dentist appointments and car problems often end up being the reasons I take off instead of fun.
  3. Don’t try to drink as much as you did in college.
    The hangovers are real and I am often reminded how little I actually like drinking. You don’t have to keep up with people or get drunk just to have fun.
  4. It’s okay to just do nothing.
    Not every day has to be the most exciting day of your life, no matter how much fomo you feel from seeing others doing fun things on social media.
  5. It’s okay to be alone.
    It’s okay to do things alone, to be single, to need alone time.
  6. Accept help from others.
    I know you want to, but you just can’t do it all on your own.
  7. Meditation or some form of de-stressing works.
    If you know what works for you, then do it. Don’t put things off or completely shut down from stress if you can avoid it.
  8. Helping others can help yourself.
    Sometimes you just get too wrapped up in yourself, helping others may help to clear your head.
  9. There’s always something to be grateful for.
    Even when it doesn’t seem like it, you can be grateful that you just made it to work that day or you have a job or that you’re breathing.
  10. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
    You are not the only person who doesn’t have life figured out, no one has life figured out. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

    hc
    Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/pixx0ne/