Dealing With Disappointment

People are going to disappoint you in life, it’s just going to happen. They’re going to lie to you, lead you on, put in less effort, hurt you, or pretend to be someone they’re not.

You’re going to disappoint yourself in life, it’s just going to happen. You’re going to make the wrong decision, you’re not going to speak out when you should, you’re going to lie or hurt someone or be someone you’re not.

The only way to deal with it is to analyze the situation and decide whether it deserves your forgiveness or not. Because not everyone will. And dropping them from your life might be hard, but necessary. And some people do deserve your forgiveness. It might be hard to give it to them. It might be hard to forgive yourself.

The hard times in life end up being the times where decisions are made that can better your life. When someone disappoints you, only weigh your feelings on the matter. No one can tell you or convince you how to feel. Then take those feelings and make the best decision for yourself.

Disappointment hurts, there’s no way around it. But in these time, put yourself first and be a little selfish. You’re the one who hurts, so you are allowed to decide how to make yourself feel better.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/babyowls/

10 Life Tips That I Almost Never Follow

  1. Overthinking won’t help the situation.
    I can calm my hectic brain by coloring, journaling, cleaning, etc. But I always let overthinking get the best of me.
  2. Always take your PTO as much as possible.
    Take it and use it for something fun. Unfortunately, dentist appointments and car problems often end up being the reasons I take off instead of fun.
  3. Don’t try to drink as much as you did in college.
    The hangovers are real and I am often reminded how little I actually like drinking. You don’t have to keep up with people or get drunk just to have fun.
  4. It’s okay to just do nothing.
    Not every day has to be the most exciting day of your life, no matter how much fomo you feel from seeing others doing fun things on social media.
  5. It’s okay to be alone.
    It’s okay to do things alone, to be single, to need alone time.
  6. Accept help from others.
    I know you want to, but you just can’t do it all on your own.
  7. Meditation or some form of de-stressing works.
    If you know what works for you, then do it. Don’t put things off or completely shut down from stress if you can avoid it.
  8. Helping others can help yourself.
    Sometimes you just get too wrapped up in yourself, helping others may help to clear your head.
  9. There’s always something to be grateful for.
    Even when it doesn’t seem like it, you can be grateful that you just made it to work that day or you have a job or that you’re breathing.
  10. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
    You are not the only person who doesn’t have life figured out, no one has life figured out. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

    hc
    Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/pixx0ne/

 

Finding Your Way Back To Happiness

Happiness is a funny thing because you don’t really know you have it until it’s gone. And you don’t really notice it missing right away. You slowly slip into this funk that you think will fade until you wake up one day and realize you’ve been indifferent about life for over a year.

Then when you find it again, it’s  like waking up on the right side of the bed finally. Like you got the sleep out of your eyes and are ready to take on the world.

But if you’re not careful, you’ll start to slip again. It happens to everyone, we can’t all be happy 100% of the time. And it’s gradual again, you don’t even know the happiness is gone until you look in the mirror one day and hate everything about yourself. It’s like getting into bed and realizing you never want to get out and face the world.

So how do you find your way back?

You’ve been there before, you just need to retrace your steps. It’s the effort to do so that will really set you back. I was sad for years, it took so much work to feel good again…why can’t I just lay in bed?

And you can’t half-ass it at all. Great, you’ve got one thing going in the right direction. But that one thing can’t pull you all the way up. You have to try harder, you have to force yourself to the happiness you’re craving, but just can’t seem to find the energy to grasp.

Finding happiness isn’t easy just as slipping into sadness wasn’t easy. Sure, it may feel like it’s so much easier to fall down than get up. But think about the things that got you to sad, they are far less fun than the things that get you to happy.

Retrace your steps and put in the work, happiness is just around the corner.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/bennyseidelman/

How I’m Working On Mindfulness

I started doing yoga so I’m probably 10x more annoying than I was before. I’ve been seriously talking about my chi, my throat chakra, and mindfulness like all week.

Basically all that talk has come from me being more aware. I was fully aware of how stressed I was, what health problems I was having, and how I was feeling. But I had no clue how to fix any of it. I just felt stuck in this constant state of anxiety.

Then my yoga instructor described a situation to us. She said that she is often tailgated in traffic because she’s a slow driver. She made it so that now when this happens, there is a moment between the action and her reaction where she takes the time to stay calm. I don’t think many of us take a moment between the action and the reaction, we just ignite as soon as something happens.

I am working on being mindful. Because we so often go throughout our day and never think about why we are doing the things we do. Why did I get up for work this morning? Why did I eat so much crap after dinner? Why did I skip the gym? Why am I so tired? Why do I feel happy?

When you put reasoning and time into the way your feeling, it can help you to understand yourself better and to put more meaning into the activities in your life that seem mundane. So, I am trying to work on my mindfulness.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/matthewphotography/

It’s Okay To Not Reach Your Goals

Making goals put my life into a new perspective. I realized all that I wanted to do, all that I can do, and all that I can look forward to. It made life just that much more exciting to live.

The possibilities can seem endless when you’re writing down your goals. Because you can write down ones that are attainable. You can write down long term and short term. You can write down ones that are essentially you reaching for the stars.

And sometimes you will reach the stars. Sometimes you’ll blow your own mine and complete the goal you’d never though you’d complete.

But sometimes you won’t reach your goals. And that’s okay too. Because as harsh as the word “failure” is, it’s okay to fail. It puts you back on track to realize that not everything comes easy. Some things take a lot of hard work, and even that won’t get you there.

It’s okay to fail because then you know what changes to make and you’ll work harder towards your goals next time.  Stop looking at failure as a negative and look at it as a positive. Take failure as a lesson. As long as you continue to learn and grow, to push past your boundaries and attempt to shatter your goals, then it’s okay to not complete them every once in a while.

You can crush that goal, but you can’t let a little failure get in the way.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/fireflieswaltz/

Why We Forget To Take Care Of Ourselves

We often stop and think to ourselves about how stressed out we are. How tired we are. How we could just use a day off.

But we never really stop and think that we need all of those things because we’ve stopped taking care of ourselves. We just think that it’s been a busy week, or a lot has been going on at work, or you’ve been fighting with your friends this week. But it will all pass.

The truth is, it won’t pass unless you realize that you’ve completely forgotten about your own self care. All of your current emotions are linked to things in your life such as work, school, relationships. But how are you feeling? Have you taken care of you?

We forget to take care of ourselves because there’s so much going on in the world. And we are just a small piece of it. We think all of these outside things make up who we are, that if we take care of those things then everything will fall into place. But if you don’t take care of your mind or your body or your soul – then you can’t take care of work, or friends, or family, or school either.

We forget to take care of ourselves because we are so busy looking after other people. But how can you be there for someone if you aren’t even there for yourself?

Be grateful and be there for people. Most importantly, though, be grateful for who you are and take care of yourself. If you’re stressed, or tired, or need a day off. Recognize those things as a  need to take care of yourself more, not just something that’s going to pass over time. Don’t live your life thinking everything is temporary, you need to be mindful of your current state and where you will be going from here. Take care of yourself.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/streetmatt/

Everything Feels Temporary

Most of us are so horrible at living in the present. We are either full steam ahead into the future, not even living in our own moments. Or we are falling into the arms of our pasts over and over and over again.

We miss the day to day precious aspects of life. And because we’re so focused on the future or the past or anything but the present – it feels like everything is temporary.

When you move into a new apartment you say “oh I’ll only be here for a year.” When you start a new relationship you say “I’m not sure how long it’ll last.” When you start a new job you say “I think this will be good for the next couple of years.” When you get into a slump you say “I’m sure I’ll be better next week.”

But life isn’t temporary. Living, loving, working, feeling – these are not temporary things. So you can’t dismiss them now because you think everything will be different in the future. The future is distant and you only have so much control over your life.

The only thing you can control is what you make of that life. How you turn that apartment into a home. How you turn that relationship into a marriage. How you excel at your new job. How you improve your mood because you’re not waiting on someone to do it for you.

If you keep viewing things as temporary, those permanent things you’re yearning for will never actually come to be. Any thing that you want there to be more of in the future needs to not be considered temporary. Make it a constant and put the work into it. It’s okay if some things are just for now, as long as you don’t want them for later.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/warzauwynn/