February is my busy month at work – yikes. So catch up with me on social media while you’re waiting for me to get some inspiration and energy to write! If you follow my bucket lists, you’ll know I usually have social media goals set for myself. I’m 100 followers away from my goal on Instagram and 256 followers away from my Twitter goal.
Please drop your social media links in the comments so we can all check you out! 🙂
I often see the worst in people. So when someone tells me they will change, I barely believe them. This is partly because I don’t want to be disappointed and partly because most of the time, they don’t change.
I think there are the parts of us that make us who we are and those are the parts no one should ever ask you to change. Whether it be your friends, a significant other, or family. They can’t ask you to change, but they shouldn’t be forced to deal with something they don’t like. So you can try to change for your significant other or you can let the relationship go.
If you’re asking someone to change and they’re unwilling or can’t see why they need to change, then it will never happen. You’re putting all your eggs in a basket that’s ready to fall apart.
If they can see the change that needs to be made, they may have a greater chance at actually making that change. But most of the time, relationship problems come from the core of someone. It comes from a part of their personality that has been there for years, something that is deep rooted. Can people really change those parts of themselves?
It all depends on your want or need to change and the recognition of the problem. I’m sure people can change, I just rarely see it.
Sometimes the only way to do the things that need to get done to be happy is by stepping out of your comfort zone. And I don’t think we often think about that as a way to happiness. Because I know for me, stepping out of my comfort zone gives me anxiety and makes me feel absolutely horrible. But the reward for doing so could be the happiness I’m missing.
There are so many things that we don’t do, but kind of want to do, because it doesn’t feel comfortable to us. We don’t go places alone, we don’t try new foods, we don’t go new places. Because we’re afraid of being alone, uneasy about eating something weird, and scared of being somewhere unfamiliar.
But if you have no one to go with to see your favorite band, will you go alone or not go at all? Are you missing out on something that will potentially be fun, your new favorite place, your new favorite food, or hobby?
Even if it’s a little painful, sometimes we have to take the risks to get the reward. Sometimes you have to force and claw your way out of your comfort zone, because you might find happiness there.
Up until this year, I didn’t like coffee. I stuck with my usual tea and Diet Coke to get my caffeine fix. But slowly I’ve become obsessed with iced coffee and cold brew and now I’m cutting it all out – and it hurts, guys.
I am generally an over-thinker and it doesn’t really stop when I sleep, especially when I’m stressed out. I haven’t been sleeping well at all the past couple of weeks and it’s taken a major toll on me, so I’ve been ordered to give up caffeine for 2-3 weeks to see if it makes a difference. This is being paired with regular exercise.
I switched out my morning tea for decaf and haven’t touched a Diet Coke or coffee in days. I thought I was pretty snappy and cranky when I couldn’t sleep, but without caffeine it seems to be 10 times worse. I told myself I’d allow some cheat days, but I really do want to be able to sleep better so I think I have to at least make it through the work week without any caffeine.
I was told to cut it cold turkey, which seemed a little drastic but now makes sense. It wasn’t so hard, but at the end of the day I get headaches and want to go to bed at 5:30 pm. Which is no good.
Have you ever cut out caffeine? I would love to hear how your experience went, if you’d be able to do it, or if you have any tips!
Happiness is a funny thing because you don’t really know you have it until it’s gone. And you don’t really notice it missing right away. You slowly slip into this funk that you think will fade until you wake up one day and realize you’ve been indifferent about life for over a year.
Then when you find it again, it’s like waking up on the right side of the bed finally. Like you got the sleep out of your eyes and are ready to take on the world.
But if you’re not careful, you’ll start to slip again. It happens to everyone, we can’t all be happy 100% of the time. And it’s gradual again, you don’t even know the happiness is gone until you look in the mirror one day and hate everything about yourself. It’s like getting into bed and realizing you never want to get out and face the world.
So how do you find your way back?
You’ve been there before, you just need to retrace your steps. It’s the effort to do so that will really set you back. I was sad for years, it took so much work to feel good again…why can’t I just lay in bed?
And you can’t half-ass it at all. Great, you’ve got one thing going in the right direction. But that one thing can’t pull you all the way up. You have to try harder, you have to force yourself to the happiness you’re craving, but just can’t seem to find the energy to grasp.
Finding happiness isn’t easy just as slipping into sadness wasn’t easy. Sure, it may feel like it’s so much easier to fall down than get up. But think about the things that got you to sad, they are far less fun than the things that get you to happy.
Retrace your steps and put in the work, happiness is just around the corner.
I will be the first to admit that most of my life was spent not being a nice person. I think I tried to be a good person when I was young, but was quickly walked all over in middle school and high school. So I tried being bitchy and it seemed to work better for me.
It kept people out of my life and at arm’s length, it kept me safe and protected, but it was a lot of effort. It was hard to consistently be meanish to people, not because I was denying my nature to be nice, but because you have to be tough all the time and keep up this image that shows people that you don’t want to be bothered. It was like a game, you can’t catch me because I’m dark and edgy and I don’t like you.
Right after I graduated college, I just realized it’s easier to be nice to everyone. You can still keep them at arm’s length, but in a way that you could reach out if you needed to. Back when I wasn’t nice at first glance, people were always disappointed when the can’t catch me girl was caught and wasn’t as dangerous as they thought. I felt like I was never living up to anything and was just over the trend of people not liking me. Who wants to be disliked? Why was I ever that way?
I have been working very hard to help build up the people in this world who have been torn down by media, society, and just the pressures of being human. Because I feel all of those things too and I need someone to build me up too. Everyone is fabulous in their own way. I used to get jealous and spiteful when a girl looked better than me, now I’m like damnnnn girl, rock it! If you look hot, I’m going to tell you that you look hot even if I don’t know you.
Because why not? Being mean wasn’t easy, it bogged me down. I think we need to stop striving to be this elusive boss ass bitch and just be nice. You can still be powerful and kind.
When you’re in a not-so-great place, it is not easy to find five things that will cheer you up. But as you grow, you begin to add to that list. You find more and more things that help put you in the direction you want to be in. The direction of happiness.
Here are five things that made me a happier person when I was a not so happy person. And here are six things that make me a happier person now that I am in a better place:
Celebrating every little thing We accomplish things on a daily basis and those things should be recognized. You and the people you surround yourself should be proud of everything that you work for. So if you got a raise at work, or hit a goal you’ve been working towards, or just got out of bed today – pop a bottle of champagne because you deserve it.
Writing down what I’m grateful for Every day I write 10 things I am grateful for in what I call my gratitude journal. Sometimes it’s not easy to come up with 10, sometimes it is. It really makes me reflect on the great things I have in my life.
Picking up an activity that clears your mind
This should be something you can do alone. Get a coloring book. Read a book. I recently started going to yoga classes, but now I can try and practice that alone at home as well.
Setting achievable and reach goals
Ever since I started writing down what I want to achieve, I started accomplishing more. It’s easy to accomplish something like “change my hair in the month of January” and I still feel the reward. It’s a little harder to accomplish things like “get a raise at work” but writing it down will get you there.
Letting go of the things I can’t change for people
I used to feel guilty, a lot, because I’m introverted and often just don’t enjoy going out every weekend or making non stop plans. I am starting to put things into perspective where that’s a part of me that doesn’t need to change and everyone just needs to accept it.
A positive mindset
It seems so simple, but we go into most things negatively whether we mean to or not. Do you want to be happier this year? Then think happy thoughts as often as you can.