Missing Being Single And Missing Being In A Relationship

You always want what you can’t have, right? That seems to ring especially true when it comes to relationships. You want the person who doesn’t want you or you want to be single again or you want to be in a relationship again.

When you’re in a relationship, it’s natural to miss being single from time to time. New love is exciting and when you’re single, you can find as much new love as you want. You can go on first dates and get butterflies, you can openly meet new people and get your flirt on at the bar, and you can be fiercely independent. It’s those winces of feelings you remember from the old days that make you miss being single.

And they also make you forget any bad thing that was associated with being single. Those good feelings make you forget how terrible dating can be, how lonely being alone can be, or how frustrating trying to find someone can be.

Because when you’re single, you’re going to miss being in a relationship. And it’s not easy to find someone that you get along with or enjoy spending all your time with. Sure, being single can be fun. But being in a relationship offers warmth, comfort, and someone to depend on. You always have a buddy to do something with. It’s those winces of feelings from the old days that make you miss being in a relationship.

It’s natural to miss both sides because both bring something to the table. The most important piece of advice I can offer, though, is being happy with what you have. If you’re happy being single, then be that. If you’re happy in your relationship, then stay there. Don’t throw away a good thing based off of misconstrued memories.

man sitting beside woman in front of table
Photo by Elle Hughes on Pexels.com

Do You Like Him Or Do You Like The Attention?

Loneliness can cause a lot of confusion. It’s not enough that you’re alone, happy sometimes but sad others, miss the feeling of someone laying beside you, of always having someone to turn to – but it also jumbles up your brain and heart to the point where clarity is a small speck in the distance.

It sounds petty, but we really do need attention. And in times when we lack it, we can become a little drastic in order to receive it.

You can be a happy person alone, but still have loneliness hit you from time to time. A lot of people resort back to their ex boyfriends or girlfriends during this time of vulnerability. Because they’re familiar, they might give you the brief attention you need, they once were something but now are nothing. You don’t necessarily miss them – you just need a little attention.

Or you start dating and talking to other people in order to get attention. Maybe a relationship is what you want. Maybe this time it’s not just temporary loneliness.

But how do you really know if you like someone when the loneliness is causing so much confusion? Do you really enjoy their company or are they just the first person to offer to take you out in a while? Do you really find them attractive or are they just calling you pretty and telling you what you want to hear?

Do you really like them or do you just like the attention?

It’s best to separate yourself from the loneliness if you’re truly thinking of dating someone – but it’s hard and you’re blinded. One way or another you’ll come to find if you really like the person or if you just needed the attention. It’s sad. It makes you seem as if you were using someone when you really just couldn’t separate the needs from the wants. But it’s always something to consider every time you start to flirt with someone new – consider your state of mind with every move you make to avoid hurting anyone. Be careful when you’re lonely and confused, you are not the only one who will feel the consequences of not thinking clearly.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/calamity_photography/

The Internet Is Making Us Lonely

Likes, favorites, retweets, comments, and all those weird emotion things Facebook just added.

We live for instant gratification. It’s not because we’re selfish, it’s because of the Internet. It’s because we not only have to look great in person but we also have to look great online. There is more than one impression to make and you never know when you are going to have to make it. You know when you’re going out to a bar to meet up with all your friends and look for cute guys. But, you never know when someone’s going to request you as a friend on Facebook or follow you on Insta. You could make a great first impression in person, but might totally bomb when your first impression online is break up quotes and pictures of wine.

It always looks like everyone else is having so much fun. They add all of their vacation pictures to an album for the world to see. They Instagram the amazing brunch they’re having that Saturday morning. They’re tweeting about the great party they want to. And you’re in your bed eating ice cream and talking to your dog, throwing out likes to everyone and wishing you were invited.

You can see all your friends and all of your “friends” having a life without you. Even when you do go out and have fun, it’s not gratifying because there’s always someone else doing something else. Someone who has more likes on their picture or chose a better filter.

The Internet is a lonely place. Everyone’s searching for instant gratification but no one is willing to reach out.

No matter how many followers I have, I still get lonely. The Internet doesn’t offer you a true “good job” and pat on the back when you get a promotion. The Internet doesn’t offer you sincere condolences and a hug when someone dies. The Internet doesn’t cry from laughing at your jokes or binge eat pizza with you when you’re sad. But still we avoid people and face to face interaction. We still flock to the Internet to show everyone how happy we are when we are, in fact, completely lonely.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/cvitnu/

5 Things That Make Me A Happier Person

As far as we know, the key to happiness has not yet been found. All we can really go off of is what generally makes us happier and betters our lives. I have found that these five things can make a world of difference when trying to improve your mood. These might not seem like the most ground-breaking discoveries, but you’d be surprised how much you neglect very basic necessities to being happy.

1.Downloading new music regularly

I let my playlists grow really old, but recently I realized the power of listening to new music or throw backs you haven’t heard in forever. Updating your playlists once a month will give you something fun to commute to work to or get ready to!

2. Exercise and eating right

I wouldn’t say I’m a huge fan of exercising and eating healthy, I don’t do either too well. But the important part is to give it a shot, do something that will improve your quality of life a little. Don’t ignore the cupcake when you want to eat a cupcake – but also don’t eat a whole tub of ice cream in one sitting.

3. Hanging out with friends and family

It seems obvious, I know. But I think one of the main components to being unhappy is loneliness. So when you feel some sadness sneaking in, make plans with your friends or family to have something to look forward to. If you feel you don’t have a lot of friends or family to go to, then go run errands or to the gym and strike up a conversation with someone. You’re not alone and you don’t need to feel that way.

4. Writing it all down

As a writer, I clearly believe in the strong power of writing. Get a journal, start a note in your phone, create a blog, and just start writing things down. Things that make you sad or happy, things that you want to do with your life. Writing down your goals will especially give you a better chance of accomplishing them. When everything is laid out in front of you, it makes your problems and the solutions to those problems clearer.

5. Picking up new hobbies

I think having a hobby is now a thing of the past. When I was younger, people would ask me my hobbies and I’d be like ???? watching tv??? Going to work and school??? But now I’ve picked up knitting and crocheting (I know, I’m a grandma) and I started reading more again, as well as writing. Whether it be a sport, yoga, playing an instrument, learning to paint, or knit: picking up something new and accomplishing it will give you a sense of direction and give you something to do in your spare time.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/lentzstudios/