My Updated Winter Bucket List

Winter bucket list is slow moving as is always the case. I like having the list here to motivate me, but it’s just so hard to get things done in winter. Outdoor things are a bust, it gets dark so early, and honestly we’ve just been super busy. I think in the second half I’l be able to cross off a little more of this list – but here’s your reminder that even when you set goals it’s OKAY not to meet them.

  1. Move to New Hampshire!
  2. Learn to play guitar
  3. Go to the gym 3x a week
  4. Text my friends at least once a week
  5. Go to a concert
  6. Read 5 books
  7. Be more productive after work
  8. Start journaling again
  9. Keep my blog stats up
  10. Go on a weekend trip
  11. 7,500 Instagram followers
  12. 650 Facebook likes
  13. 2,000 Twitter followers
  14. Make at least one snow angel!
  15. Get a new piercing
  16. Finish my photo album
  17. Send “we moved!” cards to friends and family
  18. Explore one new town in New England

What’s one goal you set recently that you don’t think you’ll accomplish?

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February In Photos

February has been so. much. fun. My boyfriend finally moved up to New Hampshire and we’ve done so much exploring on top of me really getting things done at my new job. I’m happy with the move so far and happy with how everything has been going! Here’s a quick glimpse into my February.

Making New Friends

When I moved, I knew my number one struggle would be making friends. Even when I lived in New Jersey, I could have afforded to have a couple more local gal pals. But I resisted making new friends.

Everyone lived at least an hour from me which meant no one to do happy hour with or no one to do spontaneous movie nights with. Everything had to be planned weeks in advance. And while this was inconvenient, it wasn’t enough to push me to make some new friends. I settled with hanging out with coworkers every so often and mostly just making plans with my boyfriend and the dog. And then I’d see my best friends once or twice a month.

Now that I moved, I don’t think that’s going to be enough. I’m not the kind of person who can be BFF’s with my coworkers. I can be friendly and we can get drinks once in a while, but I have a hard time wanting a close friendship with them. Here, I’ll only be seeing my best friends once every couple of months. And while I love hanging out with my boyfriend, sometimes you just need girl time.

So I joined Bumble BFF and put some feelers out in my alumni groups. The problem is creating relationships from scratch. I ran into this issue when I dated too. I find it hard to create a meaningful friendship or relationship with a stranger. You didn’t know me during my hardest times, how could you possibly understand me now?

Anyway, I’m giving it a shot no matter what. I’ll attempt to go on some Bumble BFF dates and report back to you all on how it goes. At least I have my internet friends, right? 😉

grayscale photography of five people walking on road
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Why My Reasons For Being A Vegetarian Have Changed

I became a vegetarian in middle school. I dabbled in it for a while, then gave up, then going into my freshman year of high school I tried it again. I have been a “pescatarian” for the past 10+ years. Vegetarians don’t eat fish or meat, but they do eat cheese, milk, eggs, etc. As a pescatarian, I don’t eat meat, but I do eat fish, cheese, milk, eggs, etc.

I side a lot with being a vegetarian because I don’t eat that much fish. Some days I even border vegan because I’ve switched milk for almond milk for most of my diet. But in technical terms, I’m a pescatarian.

When I started this journey, I did it alllll for the baby animals. I have a huge heart for animals, I love them more than people, and I just wanted to do my part to help.

It was that way for a long time, but in recent years my mindset has changed a lot. I don’t just skip the meat for the animals, I do it for my health. Red meat isn’t great for you anyway, but even chicken or turkey isn’t great because of the way it’s raised. Most affordable meat options aren’t raised in healthy environments and tend to be injected with hormones. There is just something off to me about eating a chicken that grew in a cage of its own poop, never being let out.

I don’t like to preach about being vegetarian, I don’t think it does any good for me to show you videos of cows being slaughtered. Maybe when you’re young it’ll make an impact on you like it did on me, but once people are set in their ways a video they can’t relate to won’t make a difference.

I do urge people to know where they’re buying from, know what’s in your products. And that goes for everything you eat. Where were your veggies grown? What is actually in that processed crap? I’m not perfect, I don’t eat ethically or healthy all the time, but I do make an effort to be informed. I’ve always said that if I could really know that the chicken I was eating lived its years on a farm being able to grow naturally and live naturally, then I would probably start eating meat again.

But for now, that’s not a realistic expectation.

flat lay photography of vegetable salad on plate
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It’s Not Always 50/50

I recently read some Twitter wisdom that really stuck with me. When it comes to relationships, everyday won’t be 50/50. Some days will, but some days all he will have is 10 and you gotta give 90 but it’s okay. Because some days all you’ll have is 10 and he’ll give 90.

I rarely feel like my relationship is 50/50 and it’s the weight of my end that I can’t carry. It makes me feel so guilty to think that I put so much on boyfriend daily. I struggle with basic tasks when my anxiety strikes, I’ve always been a little selfish because of what I’ve been through in my past, and I’m undeniably lazy.

But that’s my point of view. If you asked him, he’d name all the things I do for him. He’d count out all the days where I’ve given 80 when he’s only had 20. And maybe my bad days outweigh his, but I definitely do give sometimes. Even though it’s hard for me to give.

It’s about sacrifice, it’s about give and take. Relationships aren’t always 50/50 and they aren’t always easy. It requires work and effort to keep a relationship blooming and happy. When you get comfortable, it’s easy to lose sight of the effort you really need to be putting in to ensure your partner is happy. When you both resort to scrolling through your phones all night after work instead of having a conversation over dinner, it’s time to realize what you’re putting in and what more you can be doing.

How others see your relationship, how your partner sees your relationship, and how you see your relationship can all be very different. Which is why communication is important and why we all need to pick up the slack sometimes.

Doubting Myself

When I got the position I work in now, I simply told everyone that I was moving to take a new position. That I was staying with my company and doing a little bit more than I was doing before. I didn’t go around saying I got a promotion, I just didn’t see it like that.

It’s funny how much doubt we have in ourselves and how we truly fail to acknowledge our accomplishments. I always feel like I’ve just gotten lucky. But a promotion is a big deal, I should’ve celebrated with champagne and congratulations. I brushed it all off, though, I didn’t take the time to really appreciate my win.

When people took the time to dig a bit about my new job, I would then mention that it was a promotion. I was greeted with fist bumps, congrats, and kind words. Things I didn’t expect at all and things that truly made me feel good. Other people acknowledged my accomplishment, but I still didn’t see it that way because of all of my self doubt.

Writing this, I realize how little worth I apply to myself. How I made the move to New Hampshire alone and started a new job alone that I’m far from failing at. I actually feel at the end of each week I’m doing well, but I don’t do anything to celebrate that.

This weekend, I’m going to go out to dinner. I’m going to celebrate myself and my accomplishments. I’m going to put my doubts aside for a little bit and really recognize how far I’ve come. There aren’t many people who have done what I do at my age and it’s time I start giving myself more love.

photo of a woman thinking
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