My Work Personality

We all have to act certain ways to fit in sometimes, but I try never to stray too far from my true personality. While some people choose to get very prim and proper at work and keep a professional face at all times, that’s just never been my style.

I’m a casual and approachable person, I want people to feel comfortable around me. I don’t ditch my sarcastic quips or approachable demeanor just because I’m in a room of suits. I try to make everyone comfortable around me and it seems to work.

I recently read this blog post about a study saying that when women joke in the work place, it comes off as disruptive and unprofessional. But when men do it, it’s a way of producing positive outcomes. I’m not surprised at all by this. It goes along with the strong stereotype of women comedians not being funny.

On the other hand, women that don’t crack jokes can be seen as hard or bitchy. It’s usually a no-win situation.

And while I’m not surprised, I’m not going to change my work ways. I may come off as unprofessional to you, but I’m still getting my work done. I’m still successful. And I think I do a pretty good job of making people comfortable and trusting of me.

I’ve been lucky enough to work in a predominantly female environment. It’s very empowering to sit around a conference table of all women. It shows me that women of any personality can be successful. Being your true, authentic self is one of the most important things you can do in life.

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Age Doesnโ€™t Define Your Life

I’m at that point in my life where everyone I know is either engaged or talking about getting engaged. People say “oh you’re just at that age!” But it’s actually the furthest thing from what I want right now.

And I don’t think my age has anything to do with why I should be getting married. Some people get engaged after a short amount of time, some after a long amount of time – and I don’t care why you got engaged as long as marriage is something you really want and are prepared for.

But not all of us in our twenties are. Maybe not even in our forties. Or our nineties. Some people wait to get engaged to save money, some people just don’t see the rush.

And it’s not even engagement – just because you’re 22 doesn’t mean you need to be finished with college. Just because you’re 30 doesn’t mean you need to own a house. Just because you’re 40 doesn’t mean you need three kids tearing up your home.

It’s terrible to set milestones up based on how old you are. Because we didn’t all live the same life. Some of us got our hearts broken for the first time much later than others. Some of us had to work for money before being able to go to school or move on to a better job. Some of us love travel while some of us love the sense of home. We are all different and you can’t clump a group of twenty-something year olds together and expect them all to be ready and willing for the same path in life.

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Quick Trip To The Dominican Republic

A few weeks ago I prompted my Instagram followers with this question: is there a difference between a trip and a vacation?

The answer is 100% yes. My boyfriend and I have taken a lot of trips together. Trips that have tight time frames where we spend every day doing something and learning something.

But we just got back from a short vacation to the Dominican Republic and the difference is so clear. We did nothing and it was amazing.

We got to our hotel (VH Atmosphere) around 4 pm on Sunday, relaxed in the room, took a walk, headed to dinner and then went to bed early!

We woke up the next day without any alarms. Sat down for a coffee then some breakfast. Then we spent the entire day (getting kind of burned) by the pool. My boyfriend played in a darts tournament. And we read and talked and just relaxed. We ended the night with a great dinner.

We even made some time for the gym on Sunday after a day spent at the beach and pool.

While I know the Dominican Republic has much more to offer than the resort life – this was basically only a 2 day trip and we just used it as an excuse to relax. For once we feel good coming back from traveling and we’re happy to be home!

Bumble BFF – First Impressions

I’ll start this off by saying I haven’t met up with anyone in real life from Bumble BFF. And I’ll follow it up with saying that I hated dating and making friends is just like dating…so I hate this also.

If you’ve been following me for a few months now, you’ll know I’ve had little faith in Bumble BFF from the beginning. Trying to capture if someone will make a good friend from their photos and a few sentences on their profile is impossible. But for an introvert like me, it’s the easiest way to get myself out there.

So I tried. I swiped and widened my age range and location range to get a good group of people. I matched. I started conversations and let them be started by the other party. And they all fizzled within a couple hours. Shallow small talk makes it hard for you to actually get to know someone and if you’re anything like me, I hate texting in the first place so it’s hard to even get past that small talk.

Someone on the app told me that unless you make plans, real plans not just floating the usual “oh yeah let’s hang out.” Then you won’t actually become friends. This turned me off the app because it almost seems like you have to match someone, have a short conversation, then meet up with them immediately.

I haven’t given up completely. I didn’t delete the app from my phone. But I’ve been keeping busy on my own so it doesn’t feel like a good time anymore to try to incorporate someone else into my life.

If you have any Bumble BFF success stories, I’d love to hear them in the comments! Maybe I’ll get back to swiping one day.

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March Recap

Favorite show: Good Trouble

Favorite memory: The weather warmed up and we were finally able to explore our little city. We went to a bar with board games and an amazing bookstore with great coffee and then just spend the weekend relaxing!

Favorite place: Boston!

Favorite meal: It’s not a meal…but I had a really pretty purple drink and it was sooo good – a special gin, prosecco, lemon, and elderberry.

Favorite Instagram: This cool shot from Boston.

Favorite Tweet: Did you see my Irish soda bread?

One thing I did to get out of my comfort zone: Presented at a work meeting and even got kudos from one of my coworkers!

Favorite book: I read Crazy Little Thing and Matchmaking for Beginners: A Novel. I enjoyed both ๐Ÿ™‚

Favorite blog post: Dealing with Embarrassment 

Favorite collaboration: I got a new joy razor that is really cute and I’ve been loving it!

Tell me one of your favorite things about March in the comments!

Taking A Step Back From Instagram

I started my blog a long time ago, mainly focusing on relationships and break ups and hoping I was helping other people through what I was going through. And since it’s transformed, it’s more general but I’m still trying to help people through what I’m going through.

I’ve always been a writer, I’ve always been better about hiding behind my words instead of standing in front of a camera. Being an influencer and a blogger goes hand in hand, so I started building my Instagram following and taking on sponsored campaigns. It was fun for a while, but now it’s just work.

I have a blogging epiphany like every 3 months and recently I was staring at my Instagram feed and was noticing what people liked about it and what they didn’t. I was mostly noticing that 90% of my following doesn’t even interact with my posts, but the 10% that do really care about what I’m doing. That’s when it hit me.

I don’t want people to follow me just because I’m following them and I don’t want to follow people just so they follow me. I’ve recently started unfollowing hundreds of accounts, from mommy bloggers, to people who don’t speak the same language as me, to style bloggers who dress a world’s outside my budget. And I’m actually starting to enjoy Instagram again and seeing people who actually inspire me.

Now my 10% who cares has my focus and they are who I really want to target and inspire. Even though my numbers will drop and that will mean less sponsored posts, I’m so much happier creating content on my terms. I’m hoping this will relieve the stress I feel from a stupid app.

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