My Word For 2018

My word for 2017 was enough. You can read more about it here. And it may have taken me a whole 365 days to really grasp the word, but I did it. I don’t feel guilty on lazy days, I don’t drain all my energy for other people, I’ve had enough of that and I’m not going back. Though I could work on my self-esteem and thinking that I look good enough, I’m happy with the progress I made.

My word for 2018 is presence.

I truly struggle with being okay with where I am. I’m constantly thinking of my next steps. Where are we traveling to next? When will I have to start looking for a new apartment? Where is my next move? How long should I stay at this job? I think of everything except the present.

Because I also get caught up in the past a lot. Why did I do that? How do I get past all of this regret from high school and college? Why did I trust him? What made me ignore important signs? Why couldn’t I have been better?

But what I really need to do is ask myself questions about what’s happening right. now. How do I feel today? What can I do today that will help me feel more present? What have I accomplished today? Can I do better today or make an effort to do better tomorrow? Am I appreciating what I have? Do I need to relax or do I need to go out?

I want to be fully committed to where I am right now instead of searching for happiness down the road. I don’t want to work for the weekend and live just to die. I want every day to be special, even if it’s just me rocking out in the car and taking time to myself or as big as going on an awesome vacation.

In 2018 I will be present. What’s your word for this year?

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/chrisgold/

How I’m Working On Mindfulness

I started doing yoga so I’m probably 10x more annoying than I was before. I’ve been seriously talking about my chi, my throat chakra, and mindfulness like all week.

Basically all that talk has come from me being more aware. I was fully aware of how stressed I was, what health problems I was having, and how I was feeling. But I had no clue how to fix any of it. I just felt stuck in this constant state of anxiety.

Then my yoga instructor described a situation to us. She said that she is often tailgated in traffic because she’s a slow driver. She made it so that now when this happens, there is a moment between the action and her reaction where she takes the time to stay calm. I don’t think many of us take a moment between the action and the reaction, we just ignite as soon as something happens.

I am working on being mindful. Because we so often go throughout our day and never think about why we are doing the things we do. Why did I get up for work this morning? Why did I eat so much crap after dinner? Why did I skip the gym? Why am I so tired? Why do I feel happy?

When you put reasoning and time into the way your feeling, it can help you to understand yourself better and to put more meaning into the activities in your life that seem mundane. So, I am trying to work on my mindfulness.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/matthewphotography/